The question, “Why do nice guys finish last?” is one of the most common conundrums I hear about from, well, nice guys. And many of those nice guys are shy guys, which isn’t a coincidence. More on that in a minute.
But first, why do nice guys finish last?
A while back, I had a shy guy client who was in his 30s and “technically” still a virgin.
By the way, and without outting my client who we’ll call Al Most, “technically” could mean hiring a prostitute. Or “almost” having sexual intercourse but “not quite.” Or a number of other situations I’ve heard several times.
By the way, I hold no judgements on these choices as long as the woman was of legal age and consciously consenting.
Al Most had step-on-it low self-esteem and was painfully shy with women. He did manage to go out on some dates. However, the girls always told Al Most that he was “too nice.”
It’s one thing for a girl to notice your niceness, but if you’re being told you’re too nice, then that’s a way big problem for two reasons.
Here’s how this plays out …
The reality is that …
Assertiveness is a positive affirmation of beliefs. Aggressiveness is antagonistic attacking.
Having your own articulate opinions and being able to communicate those thoughts respectfully and even playfully that will help you get a girlfriend.
Now, go forth and agree to disagree.
Or just go here: Shy Guy Guide: How to Get a Girlfriend
Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam