How to Get Women Chasing You—Or Just the One You Want

What Women Want

I went for a bike ride with a (single, straight) male friend of mine on the weekend. We discussed his weakness, an unsavoury trait that keeps him from getting a girlfriend. I’ll tell you about that in a bit. We also talked about what women want.

The benefit of a platonic friendship with me is getting free dating and relationship advice. The downside is that I claim the right to write about it. *Shrug*

I’m gonna lay it out plain and simple so that you can go out and get laid, even if you’re plain and simple. (And by laid, I mean, yes, having hot, steamy sex with someone you actually like as a clothed person.)

What Women Want

There are six main things that women want, but we’re going to focus on one of them. But it’s a biggy.

  • No, it’s not a big penis.
  • Nope, not a fat bank account.
  • Not even a full head of hair and 8-pack abs.

Women want a man with self-confidence.

Duh, right?

But hold up! It’s not what you think …

Women want a man with a backbone who’s going to stand up next to her when the chips fall or when someone is trying to bring her down.

You prove you have this trait in a highly counter-intuitive way …


By disagreeing with her.



If you’ve got the cojones to disagree with her—the very person you’re trying to impress—that shows backbone, baby!

The trick is to keep it fun and playful, not antagonistic or aggressive.

Tease her!

What Women Want True AJ #TMI Story

Okay, so back to my bike-ride-boy-friend-zoned story …

We take a bike break and hit the beach. Well, almost.

I tell him, “I don’t do sand.”

He looks at me with confusion.

I elaborate, “I don’t like the feel of sand on my feet.”

He thinks I’ve made a funny, “Really? Ha ha ha. You’re joking.”

I confirm, “Nope. Really, really. I don’t like it.”

He says, “Oh, ok.”

And we sit on a sloping rock wall where I sit high enough off the sand to avoid it, and he sits on the lower side so he can feel the sand between his toes. #gross

Do you know what went wrong here?

He was Mr. Nice Guy!

Reminder: Kindness is a good thing. “Niceness” is the kiss of never-getting-kissed.

What he should’ve done is …

Teased me!


“Well, I don’t know if I can hang with someone who doesn’t like sand fleas on her feet.” Wink + lopsided grin + gentle nudge.

Do you recognize the difference?

If she’s adamant or looks averse, then sit on the fence, but make a mental note: Is this the kind of uptight gal you really want, dude?

If she laughs or appears hesitant—as though she’s reconsidering her aversion to sand—then grab her hand and say, “Come on, it won’t kill you. I promise.” And give her a playful wink.

What Women Want Takeaway

Surprise! Women want a bit of a challenge, just like men like a bit of challenge. Being a challenge doesn’t mean being an asshole.

What Women Want Actionables

  1. Don’t be a dick.
  2. Do be a tease.
  3. Assert your masculinity by finding something to disagree on—playfully.

xo AJ

p.s. Want to know the other five things about men that make women dewy? It’s all in my online Get a Girlfriend course. Check it out. Get the chick.

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam

Leave a Comment:

Ron Werner says June 8, 2017

I’ll disagree with you on this to a certain degree. I looked at a dating program that the guy called cocky and funny. Basically its putting the woman down, ie teasing, in order to generate the “attraction” and in doing he would teach how to get her into bed. Does it work? Yes. Women seem to respond to being put down in a humourous way, ie takes a special woman to wear boots like that, or what kind of woman doesn’t like sand between her toes?! Its a put down really. And it does work. But, is it really the basis of a healthy relationship? That’s a whole other animal. To disagree is a good thing BUT some women are adamant on having their own way. And really, if you say you don’t like sand, who am I to tease you about it? You may have been traumatized on a beach at some time.
I just take a woman at her word. She says she doesn’t want something, fine. I’ve tried to persuade women before. Its a headache. I don’t want to play “the game” to have a woman attracted to me. I want to meet a mature woman that’s grown out of the games. A little teasing and playful banter…sure. I’ve watched your vids, I could find a few things to tease you about.
I guess its finding the balance.
Hope you’re doing well.

    Anna Jorgensen says June 8, 2017

    Though, I get where you’re coming from with the fine line between fun teasing and sarcastic put down, my main point was to not TRY to agree on everything. A woman needs to know how a man handles conflict and disagreement, especially with her.
    Agreeing on everything is also boring.
    The ideas, values, and activities we share make us companionable; our differences give us passion. No passion = no sexual attraction = socks & hand lotion 4-ever.
    p.s. Teasing and persuading ain’t the same. Hint: One tease = one tease. Persuasion = more than one tease and/or cajoling and is annoying.
    Hope this clarifies! 🙂

Add Your Reply