I went for a bike ride with a (single, straight) male friend of mine on the weekend. We discussed his weakness, an unsavoury trait that keeps him from getting a girlfriend. I’ll tell you about that in a bit. We also talked about what women want.
The benefit of a platonic friendship with me is getting free dating and relationship advice. The downside is that I claim the right to write about it. *Shrug*
I’m gonna lay it out plain and simple so that you can go out and get laid, even if you’re plain and simple. (And by laid, I mean, yes, having hot, steamy sex with someone you actually like as a clothed person.)
There are six main things that women want, but we’re going to focus on one of them. But it’s a biggy.
Women want a man with self-confidence.
But hold up! It’s not what you think …
Women want a man with a backbone who’s going to stand up next to her when the chips fall or when someone is trying to bring her down.
You prove you have this trait in a highly counter-intuitive way …
By disagreeing with her.
If you’ve got the cojones to disagree with her—the very person you’re trying to impress—that shows backbone, baby!
The trick is to keep it fun and playful, not antagonistic or aggressive.
Okay, so back to my bike-ride-boy-friend-zoned story …
I tell him, “I don’t do sand.”
He looks at me with confusion.
I elaborate, “I don’t like the feel of sand on my feet.”
He thinks I’ve made a funny, “Really? Ha ha ha. You’re joking.”
I confirm, “Nope. Really, really. I don’t like it.”
He says, “Oh, ok.”
And we sit on a sloping rock wall where I sit high enough off the sand to avoid it, and he sits on the lower side so he can feel the sand between his toes. #gross
Do you know what went wrong here?
He was Mr. Nice Guy!
Reminder: Kindness is a good thing. “Niceness” is the kiss of never-getting-kissed.
What he should’ve done is …
“Well, I don’t know if I can hang with someone who doesn’t like sand fleas on her feet.” Wink + lopsided grin + gentle nudge.
Do you recognize the difference?
If she’s adamant or looks averse, then sit on the fence, but make a mental note: Is this the kind of uptight gal you really want, dude?
If she laughs or appears hesitant—as though she’s reconsidering her aversion to sand—then grab her hand and say, “Come on, it won’t kill you. I promise.” And give her a playful wink.
Surprise! Women want a bit of a challenge, just like men like a bit of challenge. Being a challenge doesn’t mean being an asshole.
p.s. Want to know the other five things about men that make women dewy? It’s all in my online Get a Girlfriend course. Check it out. Get the chick.
Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam