How to Know: Is She the One?

Is She A Keeper Or A Throwback?

When you ask yourself, “Is she the one?” there are a few sneaky-Pete ways for knowing if she’s your soulmate.

Nearly everyone entering a relationship—or hoping for one—experiences uncertainty when they meet that special someone who makes their heart pitter patter while making their Johnson stand tall. (<—That’s a slang sexual innuendo for giving you wood, which is also a slang innuendo!)

The Butterfly Effect aka Bae, You Done Gone and Got Struck by Cupid’s Bow

So, you found this girl you really like, and she makes you lose your mind a little bit and feel butterflies in your gut.

You’re thinking about her all the time and reliving moments of interaction and smiling like an idiot as you imagine future encounters—however innocent they may be.

Basically, dude, you’re acting like a love-struck chick. (<—That’s a sexist remark, and I don’t take it back! Because …)

Damn, doesn’t that feel amazing? I know, right? (It’s OK, you’re a modern man, you can admit it.)

But you’ve read my blog posts—thanks!—and you know I’m gonna tell you to slow down already! And that there’s no need to rush and that investing too much too soon is a recipe for disaster—I should know!—but you ain’t gonna listen to me cuz you got this arrow piercing your blood-pumper. (Notice how pumper sounds like “pump her.” <—Innuendo #2.)

And the reason you’re not too keen on slowing down and “testing out
the other ice cream flavours” is actually biological. “Love hormones” have highjacked your brain. Buh-bye, Brian’s brain.

I’ll save you the deets because, with the state you’re in, you either won’t remember, won’t care, or won’t want to accept it. And that’s totally OK! Still, you’re curious…”IS she the one?”

Is She The One? Is There Only One For Each of Us?

The good news is that you don’t have to fret when you wonder if she’s a keeper or a throwback because there’s more than one soulmate in the world for each of us—clearly, given the cheat-and-on-to-the-next divorce rate, which is why we look for certainty.

My philosophy on love and relationships is that even if it doesn’t work out, it’s worth it. We learn (hopefully), we grow (not just your Johnson), and we evolve (like Gandhi, but not really).

Let’s get back to your girl …

Here’s what you need to ask yourself instead of “Is she the one?” (At least, the one for now.)

  1. Do you feel like a better man when you’re with her?
  2. Do you want to be a better man because you’re inspired—but not because you feel unworthy?
  3. Do you feel respected, appreciated, and understood?
  4. Do you feel “seen and accepted”? Like she really gets you.
  5. Is it easy and drama-free?

If you get all Yeses, congratulations, please invite me to the wedding! (Just kidding, I’m not a big fan of weddings! Marriage, sure. Weddings, nope. #ironic)

Remember: we can’t know what the future holds for us. People change over the years, and some couples remain compatible while others don’t. But you ain’t gonna find out what the water feels like until you jump in!

For John.

xo Anna

p.s. If you found a keeper and want to know how to keep her, y’all might want to check out my Get A Girlfriend course cuz I let you in on the secrets of the female mind—and let me tell you, it can be a mine field in there, fellas!

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam

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