How To Avoid The Friend Zone

And… How to Get Out of The Friend Zone

Guest Post by Pratik Jain, Way of Women

My “how to avoid the friend zone” story starts with me talking to a glorious woman about men in her life. I noticed an expression on her face of both sadness and irritation.

I asked, “What happened?”

She hesitantly replied, “No, I don’t know why he did that.”

Curious, I probed further: “Who? And what?”

With a tone that was both sad and frustrating, she shot back, “He suddenly wanted to have sex with me after sharing a great friendship with me.”

After few silent seconds, she said, “Why did he want to ruin our friendship?”

I knew what happened but was curious to know her perspective, so I asked her, “Why do you think he ruined your friendship?” Then, to provoke, I added, “He is a man, and so he has sexual desires.”

With a higher volume, she retorted, “Because he acted as a friend all this while!”

There you go. This man and his friends, upon hearing this incident, will tell him “she friend zoned you.”

This story made me ask who is responsible for friend zoning.how to avoid the friend zone

Who puts men into the friend zone?

It is men who put themselves into the friend zone.

Think about it.  The aforementioned woman said, “He acted as a friend all this while,” which clearly depicts that the way a man shows up in a woman’s life is the way that she’ll respond and follow his lead.

The primary reason men end up in the friend zone is because they lack respect and appreciation for themselves as a man.

A man is a sexual creature, and he has sexual energy, which is a gift. But society at large has ingrained in men that they must hide their sexual desires, otherwise women will be offended.

That is why when a man goes on a date with a woman, he barely even touches her. He goes out of the way to be so-called “respectful.”

How to avoid the friend zone?

  1. A man needs to come to comfort and not be ashamed of his sexual desires.
  2. He must move towards expressing his sexual desires with respect and empathy.

The more a man expresses his desires, the more this expression becomes a part of who he is rather than turning it on after he gains enough brownie points as a friend.

On a practical side, whenever a man is in the company of a woman, be it date or just hanging out, he should do these few things:

  • Touch her slightly on her forearms, triceps and, if she seems receptive to the first two, then touch her on back of her neck if there’s an appropriate opportunity. On a date, a tap on her wrist does wonders.
  • Don’t hesitate to notice other women as an appreciation of feminine energy. But then own it, and don’t disrespect your lady by staring.
  • If a man finds a woman genuinely sexy, then express it verbally; if you want to explore her physically, express it verbally. (If you are at that stage of the relationship.) Never pull back on what you say as long as it is respectful. But keep in mind that her response is her prerogative.

A man will gain respect from a woman if he adopts both a philosophical and practical application of the tips in this post.

And remember, for a woman to be sexually aroused, she needs to respect the man. So men must earn that respect.

How to Get Out of The Friend Zone

With anything in life, the more you are in it, the more difficult it is to get out.

The longer a man has been friends with a woman, the more difficult it is to get out.

Here are a few steps that a man can take to get out of the friend zone.

  1. Slowly and gradually let the woman friend know that you have sexual interest in her. How? By dropping statements like “today you are looking sexy,” but only when she is dressed sexy.
  2. Check out other women, and let your woman friend know you’re checking them out by commenting respectfully about these women. Your friend needs to see you as a sexual being.
  3. Be with other women you meet the way you always wanted to be with your woman friend; avoid friend zone by commenting on her attractiveness, touching her appropriately etc.
  4. Let go of the outcome, otherwise it’ll be very difficult to come out as genuine.
  5. If you can’t let go of the outcome, then it’s okay to lose her, take your lessons and move on.

I hope this post will serve a great purpose for readers. Any comments would be highly appreciated!

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About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver Matchmaker and Dating, Love and Relationship Expert
Founder: Wingmam

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