Well, Anna, I’m an independent #bossbabe, and maybe I don’t want to “get a husband.”
Yes, I know. You can take care of yourself. You’re strong, smart and successful. You got it going on, girl! And by “girl,” I mean “woman” because I don’t want you tracking me down to kick my smart-ass!
Guess what? I’m all those things, too! So, I get it.
But here’s the thing …
Just because we’re independent feminists, doesn’t mean we can’t also be feminine.
In fact, I humbly submit that venturing into our feminine goddessness requires as much—more—courage as climbing the corporate ladder; more smarts than a stellar negotiating strategy; and more strength than hanging our own curtain rod.
(I’m totally refraining from a naughty innuendo using “rod.”)
First, let me be clear: when I write “Get a husband,” it’s with the understanding that not all of us want to get married. (Or married again.) If that’s you, just sub out “husband” for “long-term committed relationship,” which is what you’re here for, yes?
Second, just because we don’t need a man doesn’t have to mean we don’t want a man.
Third, we can be boss babes at work and in many other areas of our lives, and at the same time, we can express our feminine vulnerabilities to a man.
Hint: Feminine vulnerabilities are super sexy—like, SUPER SEXY y’all! Men love that about us.
(Hint: Masculine vulnerabilities are also hot like jalapeño! But that’s for the boys’ blog.)
Fourth, part of being attractive to men is continuing to be the boss babes of our lives. Men want to be your hero, baby. But a healthy man doesn’t want to sign up for a head-case-reoccurring rescue victim. #notsexy
Fifth, never plead the fifth on feminine vulnerability. As long as we’re not lost causes—the type of women who think they can’t take care of themselves and live in constant chaos waiting for some poor (but wealthy) schmuck to step in and save their day—we can reveal our vulnerable side.
Off the top of my head, feminine vulnerability is
When we allow our feminine side to show, doing so enhances the masculinity in men—something every woman tells me she appreciates.
Let’s allow men to open doors and buy us a coffee, even though we can do both ourselves.
Let’s send a thank-you card with hand-drawn flowers and swirly cursive script.
Let’s share our dislikes in ways that invite him to want to change his behaviour.
Let’s be softer, and let’s slow down and be present. Really, really present. Here, now, with him.
Good men do appreciate a woman who has her poop in a group. But they fall for women who also make them feel like a man by expressing their womanliness through feminine vulnerability. And is that so wrong? I think not.
Boss babes of the world rejoice! Softly, sometimes.
p.s. Want to learn more about what men want that you want to give them? Click here.
Vancouver Matchmaker and Dating, Love and Relationship Expert