I’m a shameless flirt. I’m blaming my mother. My little mom was the queen of flirting. If anyone wanted to learn how to flirt with men, all they’d have to do is spend a day with my 80-year-old momma. So, whether it was by nature or nurture, I learned from the best. (Not apologizing.)
Also, I wrote this when I was on the rag—that’s slang for having my moon time, which is also slang—which means this blog contains unfiltered cheekiness some may find offensive. (Not apologizing.)
Anyway, the key to getting really good at how to flirt with men is the same as it is with any new skill—practice practice practice creates mastery!
One of the most important things we must remember when learning how to flirt with men is that—
Men don’t speak hint. – Mathew Boggs, best selling author of Cracking the Man Code
…Unless hint has a presupposed sexual reference. – Anna Jorgensen, Wingmam
If you ask a man to go to your hotel room for a drink, he’s thinking you’re hinting at more than a drink.
As you know, we ladies speak a million shades of hint and, even though our assumptions may not always be correct, we pick up on every little thing.
At a family dinner a couple weeks ago, my brother, sister and I were having a conversation similar to this…
Me: Men don’t speak hint.
My Sister: Right?!
Bro: What do you mean?
Me: Men don’t speak hint. Women speak a thousand shades of hint.
My Sister: Well, you could have a group of people in a room—like this—and a woman might say, “Where did you get that blouse?” to another woman. And every woman’s eyes would expand like saucers and look at each other, like, “Did she really just say that?”
Bro: Say what?
Me and my sister laugh.
Me: She was dissing the woman’s shirt, dude!
Bro is confused.
My Sister: Totally. What a bitch.
Me: It’s all in the tone, tempo, pitch, and body language.
Bro: She wasn’t just asking where she got that blouse?
Me and My Sister: NO!
Less hinting, more direct flirting.
Like the golden olden days, we want to be able to drop the hanky right in front of the gentleman is a strong hint because he can see it and then pick it up.
If we’re too subtle with flirting, guys aren’t sure we’re interested.
If we don’t give them enough of a green light, they won’t take the chance—unless they’re uber super duper confident. Hint: Men hate rejection! And we could miss out on a great guy.
But we don’t want to pick up our own hanky. As in, don’t be so direct that the guy doesn’t get to do the “guy thing” – asking us out.
Side note: Think this is sexist? Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were an empowered woman who could give a guy the gift of feeling masculine. Pardon me. (And my bloody sarcasm. <—rag pun.)
By the way, if you’re a #bossbabe who considers herself a radical feminist, then you’ve probably ended up with wussies (men who have no confidence or opinions of their own) and have not been all that happy. Am I right? (If you do like wearing the pants in the family, there’s nothing wrong with that, but this is the wrong site for you, Boss Babe.)
Start subtle and build up the tension. If you have no idea whether or not he’s or isn’t interested in you romantically, this is especially necessary. Sparkly eyes—you know how to do this. Think of when you see a piece of cheesecake, but maybe less intense (save the cheesecake intensity for when you get to the bedroom stage!)
If you think you’re being super obvious, remember…you’re not!
There you have it! How to flirt with men to get a guy’s attention.
p.s. I love you for reading my rag-rant posts—thank you! If you want the trail map that’ll take you from your lonely forest trail directly to the love meadow, in my WakeUP2Luv: Get a Boyfriend Guide I’ll be your forest fairy and show you the way. (Apparently, I’m all about the cheesiness, today.)
Vancouver Matchmaker and Dating, Love and Relationship Expert