Dudes: What Not To Do If She Cancels Plans

Dating 101: This Week’s Top 5 Dating Tips For Shy Guys. Duet Right!

This week’s dos and don’ts of dating include feedback from my own and friends’ dating experiences.

  1. Do confirm plans before the date. The day before, call. The day of, text. Why in this order? If she bails the day before, you can still recover. If she bails the day of, text is easier to handle so you don’t say stuff you might regret. She might have a legit reason, which brings me to …
  2. Don’t lose your temper or spew vile text messages if she cancels or postpones a date. You may not get a second chance and, even if you do, it’ll be tainted by your lack of self-control. Perhaps something serious came up for her. Take the high road. If she’s a flake, be thankful you didn’t waste your time—or a dime—on her.
  3. Do have something planned to do solo after your first date. If the date goes well, you can still say, I have to go, but I’d really like to see you again. If it’s a flop, you can hightail it and not have to feel awkward about how to wind down the date.
  4. Don’t feel you have to go for dinner and drinks. Yes, for real. A good idea is to have drinks one place and then dinner another. (Thanks again, Matt Hussey!) If drinks are a no-go, then forgo dinner. Even though you both made an effort, if neither of you are feeling it, she’ll probably be relieved. And if she totally fibbed about her appearance, in my books, liars don’t get free meals. #toughlove (This works both ways, fellas.) p.s. You know it’s not sexy to get sloshed on a first date, right? Right?! Keep it within the legal driving limit.
  5. Do be honest about your feelings, or lack of them, but if she was truthful about who she is and what she looks like, give her a chance. There might not be romantic chemistry, but maybe you’ll gain a new, cool friend—and if she’s mature about sharing them, a network of other new, cool lady friends.

Dating 101: Dating Tips For Shy Men is from my own in-the-field dating with “real” men experiences and recent feedback from random women I interview in coffe shops, grocery store line-ups, at the gynocology office and so forth.

If you have a dating or relationship question, send me an email or ask in the comments below. Remember, I’m not a shrink. I’m a single, dating chick—master dater! Even better.

xo Anna

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam

Leave a Comment:

Pedram says December 4, 2015

Good advice…how is it related to being over 40?

    Anna Jorgensen says December 4, 2015

    Hi Pedram, thanks for asking! Anything I write will be applicable to men and women over 40. Though there are many areas of similarity for people dating above and below this age line, there definitely are some important differences. As for this Bad Boys blog, the main difference between over and under 40 is that in my opinion there’s at least a chance of getting a bad boy to settle down and commit. He’s played the field enough to have tried “every flavour” and may realize that life is better with that one special someone. Players in their 20s (and 30s if they don’t want a family) are still in the ice-cream parlour checking off flavours. Good luck! By the way, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to settle down. I just help people recognize who’s ready and who’s not worth it! Hope this answers your question!

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