Sexual Attraction and Physical Contact

From Conversations with Woman on Sexual Attraction and Physical Contact

Dear Gentlemen, please:

Don’t Assume She’s Attracted

Don’t think that a conversation that seems easy and flows naturally means that she is sexually attracted to you.

Some signs mean she is sexually attracted to you; [some] signs mean she’s not sexually attracted to you.

Comfortable conversation does not equal romantic connection or physical chemistry.

Do Be Respectful When You Touch Her

Do be respectful about physical contact. If you touch her hand and she pulls away, or if you offer your arm to cross the street and she declines or avoids it, it could mean a few things, she might:

  1. Be shy
  2. Be uber independent
  3. Not be a touchy kind of person
  4. Not want to give you the impression she’s attracted to you if she’s not

Don’t Get Put Out

Don’t take it personally if you find out she’s not sexually attracted to you right away!

Biologically and statistically—look it up—guys ponder having sex with most of the women they go on a date with, even if they brush off the thought an instant later.

Women are the exact opposite: rarely do they instantly ponder having sex with their date, even though they might think about it later.

Most couples I’ve interviewed, who have been together a long time, didn’t have instant attraction. Be willing to be patient.

If friendship-only is the by-product, is that so bad? (Hello to her hot single girl friends!)

Do Remember Women’s Primary Need

Do remember her primary need is to feel safe. Emotionally and physically.

You’ve probably got some size or strength on her, so understand if she wants to meet you at the date location and/or to take a taxi.

As Tucker Max reminds us in his book “Mate,” how would you feel if you were trapped in a car with a horny linebacker that wants to have sex with you? #prisonstance

Don’t React Poorly

Don’t be a dick. If she wasn’t feeling it take the high road.

Don’t stoop to low-level childish behaviour by sending bitter messages. That only makes her grateful that she dodged a douchebag. Ew.

And if you were the one not feeling it, grow some balls and say so. Hashtag: don’t be a douche.


xo AJ

p.s. Don’t shoot the messenger. In fact, buy her (uh, me) quality chocolate. Thank you. xo

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)

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