Project: 50 First Dates―Date #4: Women’s Safety

For Women’s Safety I’m Posting This.

Dating site: match.com
Age: early 50s
Kids: none
Work: network management

Concerned Citizen messages me on match.com to see if I’m seriously looking for a mate or selectively soliciting business.

I reply back, “Both. Either.” Then offer, “You’ll get honest feedback. Might help with the next one if I’m not her.”

We exchange a couple brief texts, then he suggests we go to an exhibit at the Vancouver Art Gallery, and if things go well, maybe lunch after. Like.

A couple days later―why drag it out―I arrive early at the VAG. I text him to let him know. He works nearby and agrees to meet me early.

When he arrives, we get right to it.

I tell him why I’ve been away for a month, which leads to heavy conversation right off. (My bad.) He similarly offers intimate insights of his life.

We chat about online dating, and he tells me, after some hesitation, “Women give too much away.”

I ask him, “What do you mean?”

He replies, “Well, this is going to sound creepy. No, I better not.”

I prod, “Now, you have to tell me! No judgments. I’m here to learn, too.”

And so he tells me how easy it is to find out who they are and where they live and work and …

He says, “I’m not a stalker.”

I say, “Yeah, but that does sound creepy. I might not start an interaction with that.”

Our whole conversation feels factual more than emotional. I take it to mean that he’s either reserved, shy or nervous. (He actually didn’t come across as creepy.)

He reminds me that he’s really not a stalker and doesn’t know how to tell women to watch out for guys who are.

“I’ll write about it. Alert the ladies. Safety first, after all.”

We go to the VAG exhibit―theme: culture. Effect: creepy! However, the array of way-out-there exhibits was def definitely stimulating. After 90 minutes exploring two of the four floors of VAG, I’m mentally exhausted with brain overload.

“That’s all I can handle.” I tell him and he agrees.

We exit the building, not speaking but silently absorbing what we’ve experienced―at least I was. Even though I have somewhere else to be, I want to go home for a nap.

I give him a hug, and we part ways. Concerned Citizen seems like a great guy, but because of our convo “Creepy Citizen” is my associated feeling toward him. (Which I told him is how all women will feel.)

The Takeaways:

  1. Artsy-fartsy cultural events provide for interesting amusement and stimulating conversation, but be sure to interact during the exhibition―your date is the main attraction, after all.
  2. If your date place is somewhere mentally rousing―not arousing, fellas―allot an hour maximum for that part so that you have time and think-ability to chat after.
  3. Guys: Don’t do your “background checks” until you have a date secured―otherwise, that will creep us out and we’ll run like a scared hare.
  4. Ladies: Be careful; there are weirdos out there! Do do your background checks first!
  5. Laughter is key on a first date. Though some serious topics can safely be discussed on Date #2, I’d skip the “women’s safety” and other deep convo on Date #1. Stick to fun and playful.

Sorry, this isn’t comical like it usually is; I’m still getting over the bunny’s-head-on-big-stick exhibit. #creepy

Have you had a weird, creepy, comical dating experience? Tell us about it in the comments!

xo

Anna

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver Matchmaker and Dating, Love and Relationship Expert
Founder: Wingmam

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