Dating Site: n/a; met in “the real world”
Stats: Never married, no kids, one dog
Career: Entrepreneur, medical field
I met Red—a fellow fire-top—at a social event I attended with friends. He was sitting at a table next to us with a bunch of his friends. I noticed he had meaty, manly hands—a weakness, so shoot me—and because I’m a shameless flirt, I started a conversation.
“Hey, you―” he looks over at me, unsure, and I continue, “Yes, you. You’re handsome. I like your hands.”
My two girlfriends laugh at me for my brazenness. (Intoxication-ness?)
The 20Something beauty sitting next to Red gives me the stink-eye, but because I’ve already downed one Cosmo (martini) and it’s so rare I see a specimen (man) that I find attractive, I can’t help myself.
Red blushes at my compliment. He doesn’t seem to know what to do but glances over a few more times.
“So, are you single?” I ask. “Or are you here with anyone? Come join us.” He’s there with a table of people. I wave him over, anyway.
He joins us.
20Something’s mouth drops open as her head drops to one side in disbelief.
Honestly, people, I was not displaying classy behaviour here by stealing another woman’s potential date, but really, 20Something could benefit if she paid attention. And Red did have the option not to join us.
What do we know? As Mat Boggs coined: Men don’t speak hint.
If you’re interested in a man, he ain’t going to mind you speaking up about how sexy he is. Trust me.
Anyway, I spend most of the night conversing with Red (Note to self: bad friend) and discover we have a mutual acquaintance―his friend the “player,” Willy.
Either because he’s shy or nervous or insecure, Red spends a lot of time telling me things likely meant to impress me, but my girl friends think he’s a braggart who’s vain and shallow.
Note to ladies: Sometimes a man wants to impress you to show you they’re worthy of you. Take it as a compliment that he thinks you’re all that.
Note to gents: Bragging comes across as vain, shallow and insecure. Be subtle; you’re already worthy.
I give him my business card, and a few days later we start texting, and a few days later we have a date set up, and a few days later I cancel the date.
As much as the man is handsome, smart and financially savvy, I don’t think we’re a right fit: I detest the feel of sand on my feet, he loves the beach; I don’t like boating, he lives for the ocean; I loathe beach resorts, yep, that’s his fave; I’m not a pet person, he has a dog; and the list goes on. And I don’t want to lead him on with false hope or take advantage of him with the “proper dinner date” I’d originally insisted on.
I ask if he’d like to go on a hike instead. “As friends.” He says he would. Maturity: check.
Who knows where things could go, but friends is not a bad consolation prize. For either of us.
Ladies and Gents: Let’s not get our knickers in a knot if the person isn’t into us, whether it’s (almost) the first date or if it’s the fifth! Hello! That’s what dating’s about—discovering whether or not we’re into the person. We’d do all a favour (most notably ourselves) by not assuming the other person wants us or expecting the other person to want us simply because we’re on a date or we like them. #getagrip
xo AJ #uncensored
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Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam