How to Get Over Shyness and How to Get Confident

Conquer Shyness + Gain Confidence = Get Happy

I used to be so shy.

How shy was I?

As a kid, I was so shy that I wouldn’t go to school if my best friend—one friend—didn’t go.

If she was at home sick, I was at home sick. If she was on a family vacation, I was at home sick. If she was at her gramma’s funeral, I was at home sick.


The anxiety of her not being at school left my tummy rumbling.

I couldn’t go to school without the comfort of knowing that she was there in class with me—and later, in high school, when we were no longer BFFs, knowing that my new BFF was in a class somewhere.

I was so shy that I only ever had one friend at a time until sometime in Grade 10 when I discovered liquid courage—alcohol—then I was friendly, and a little bit slutty, on weekends. But…

Alcohol doesn’t solve our shyness problems! Nor do drugs—legal or illegal.

I carried shyness throughout my adult life.

Even when I became a successful real estate salesperson—a relatively “safe” profession for shy people because you generally only deal with one person or two people at a time—I couldn’t speak up at an office meeting without experiencing severe anxiety. Sweaty palms, red face, racing heartbeat, light-headedness.

Shyness is not introversion. Shyness comes from insecurity and creates avoidance. Introversion is about preference; of one’s own company (time alone) or a limited number of people. (Even if that group is part of a larger group.)

But I got over shyness! It was sort of by accident and sort of on purpose. I explain the “by accident” part in a video—with more embarrassing shyness stories—that I’ll post tomorrow on my WingmamTV YouTube channel.

As for the “on purpose” part …

Here’s How To Conquer Shyness, Gain Confidence and Get Happy

  1. Realize there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just shy.
  2. Acknowledge that shyness ain’t going to magically disappear. You gotta take responsibility.
  3. Accept yourself. All those broken parts of you that you think are shitty are simply the starting line to launch a new you from. (Cheesy but true.)
  4. Take action! … Start SMALL. But do something that scares you a bit in the shyness area.
  5. Celebrate successes. Every single small success adds up.

Success isn’t found in the achieved goal; it’s found in every single tiny step we take toward our goal. You got this!


Studies have confirmed that when we take action, any action, that moves us forward, we get happier STAT―no matter the outcome. It’s in the doing that makes us happy. Go figure. And …

Happy, confident people are sexy, y’all.

You’ll find more details and examples in the full video here. Subscribe to WingmamTV to be the first to receive new videos; subscribe to this #JustTheTip newsletter here to get new blog posts.

Also, if you learn best being prodded or nudged or simply given the exact things to do every day to get over shyness, get your life in order and get happy (i.e. launch the confident, sexy you)—my WakeUP2Luv course walks you through daily what-to-do and how-tos.

xo AJ formerly known as the shy kid

p.s. If you think this blog might help a shy friend, then send send send. ?

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam

Leave a Comment:

Mark says May 5, 2017

I can really relate to this. I was the shy kid in high school, and people would be surprised whenever I opened my mouth haha…

    Anna Jorgensen says May 5, 2017

    Yep, Mark, I hear yah! for me, I was silent and reserved up until Grade 10 when I discovered liquid courage (alcohol) but was still shy. (Alcohol is not the answer! That was a whole other problem.) It wasn’t until I learned how to overcome shyness and took action that I started my journey to confidence. I’m still an introvert but now people are shocked to find out I was ever shy. There’s hope for shy guys! 🙂

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