I used to be so shy.
How shy was I?
As a kid, I was so shy that I wouldn’t go to school if my best friend—one friend—didn’t go.
If she was at home sick, I was at home sick. If she was on a family vacation, I was at home sick. If she was at her gramma’s funeral, I was at home sick.
The anxiety of her not being at school left my tummy rumbling.
I couldn’t go to school without the comfort of knowing that she was there in class with me—and later, in high school, when we were no longer BFFs, knowing that my new BFF was in a class somewhere.
I was so shy that I only ever had one friend at a time until sometime in Grade 10 when I discovered liquid courage—alcohol—then I was friendly, and a little bit slutty, on weekends. But…
Alcohol doesn’t solve our shyness problems! Nor do drugs—legal or illegal.
I carried shyness throughout my adult life.
Even when I became a successful real estate salesperson—a relatively “safe” profession for shy people because you generally only deal with one person or two people at a time—I couldn’t speak up at an office meeting without experiencing severe anxiety. Sweaty palms, red face, racing heartbeat, light-headedness.
Shyness is not introversion. Shyness comes from insecurity and creates avoidance. Introversion is about preference; of one’s own company (time alone) or a limited number of people. (Even if that group is part of a larger group.)
But I got over shyness! It was sort of by accident and sort of on purpose. I explain the “by accident” part in a video—with more embarrassing shyness stories—that I’ll post tomorrow on my WingmamTV YouTube channel.
As for the “on purpose” part …
Success isn’t found in the achieved goal; it’s found in every single tiny step we take toward our goal. You got this!
Studies have confirmed that when we take action, any action, that moves us forward, we get happier STAT―no matter the outcome. It’s in the doing that makes us happy. Go figure. And …
Happy, confident people are sexy, y’all.
Also, if you learn best being prodded or nudged or simply given the exact things to do every day to get over shyness, get your life in order and get happy (i.e. launch the confident, sexy you)—my WakeUP2Luv course walks you through daily what-to-do and how-tos.
xo AJ formerly known as the shy kid
p.s. If you think this blog might help a shy friend, then send send send. ?
Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam