Most guys come to me to build up their confidence before they ask me how to approach women or how to talk to women. We work on both in real time while getting them out of their comfort zone, out on the street and approaching and talking to woman STAT.
How to approach women and how to talk to women each have a really—if not easy—simple solution … just do it!
I know, I know, you’re thinking—
But Anna, what do I say?
Yep! You’re right.
But that doesn’t change the fact that if you want to get a girlfriend, or just want to start getting laid (so that you’re not so desperate for a girlfriend), then you’ve got to start approaching women and talking to women.
The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll fall on your face and fail.
Yep! You read that right.
You’re going to fail. The sooner you get over the idea, the better you’ll feel. #truestory
Ninety-nine percent — yes, 99%! — of the women you approach are going to reject you. Some of them will be rude.
In fact, if you can psyche yourself up to setting the goal to fail, then you’ll have a much easier time getting started.
Here’s why …
Focusing on the ideal outcome—getting a girl’s number, getting a date, getting laid, getting a girlfriend—sets the bar way too high.
You have a 99% chance of disappointment.
However, if your goal is to fail at getting her number or a date or easy sex or a regular cuddle buddy, then all you have to do is … just do it! As in: approach the girl and see what happens.
You have a 99% chance of succeeding — at failing.
The reason this is a better way of looking at the whole “how to approach women and how to talk to women” topic is because it takes the pressure off. But you really gotta be in the mindset TO FAIL.
The only goal is to TRY. Despite Yoda’s mantra of “there is no try, do or do not do,” we can look at the “do” part of that statement as simply doing the actual approach.
Did you notice the positive aspect in the above two tips? No?
Well, here it is …
One percent (yep, a whole 1%) of women are not going to reject you!
Yes, that does mean that you may have to go through 99 women to get to that one friendly face. Or … you could get lucky on the first try. It could happen.
Mindset Mantra: Every “no” gets me closer to a “yes!”
Or like Nemo says, just keep swimming, just keep swimming.
Ultimately, you want only one girlfriend.
This means that you need only a 1% success rate! Exactly. Refer back to Mindset Mantra!
Do you realize what this means?
The sooner you start approaching and talking to women, the sooner you’re going to find #100 and then you can move on to the fun parts of dating, yes, including cuddles and sex—YAY!!
But, Anna, what do I say to a woman when I approach her?
If a woman is open to being approached, you can stumble and trip over your cheesy pick-up lines — aka conversation openers — and it won’t matter. In fact, she may think it’s cute.
No guy wants to be cute, but in this case, your nervousness can come across as flattering and non-intimidating, because she knows she’s had an effect on you!
Okay, look, don’t believe me?
Truly, you don’t have to come up with something brilliant — you just have to open your mouth and have words actually come out.
Your homework, should you wish to accept it, is to watch Nemo. Yep, it’s a kids’ cartoon, but it’s got some apropos adult advice in between the animation.
Make it a new habit to say “hi” to five new people every day — men or women, young or old, attractive or not-so-much.
As Nike highly recommends: Just dooo it!
p.s. Want an Instant Confidence Cheatsheet? Click here. You’ll get an instant download, plus a follow up to my Unshakeable Confidence System which has an Ice-Breaker Cheatsheet on exactly what to say to women anytime, anywhere—currently on sale for $7, the price of a hipster latte. Shut up, Anna, really? Yep. (This offer may be removed at any time without notice, so get your Cheatsheet NOW, dude, now!)
Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam