Recently, I received this question from a loyal www.YouTube.com/WingmamTV follower: How soon should I text her again? When to text a girl back depends on the situation, but there are general guidelines on when to text a girl and when to hold off.
Last Saturday, I got a girl’s phone number and I’ve sent her a few texts since then but I haven’t heard back from her. Do you think she flaked or am I over-thinking it possibly? While talking with her, she said she was free this Friday and Saturday and agreed to me taking her out when I asked her and it seemed like there was a connection there so I’m confused now. Thoughts? How much longer do you think I should wait before I forget about her and move on?
First of all, kudos! You got a girl’s number! You’re miles ahead of 99% of other guys who wanted her phone number but didn’t have the balls to talk to her let alone ask for her contact info.
If you go in with the attitude that she’s one lucky lady that you happen to be free tonight because “your other plans got cancelled” — those other plans being anything or doing nothing — then you can make her feel like she’s won the lottery getting to see you so soon. *wink*
If you’re really bold and throw in that playful wink! You can even say those exact words, teasingly playful, not with cocky arrogance, of course.
Now, if you didn’t ask her out for a date that very night, but instead went into texting back and forth for a while, the situation could play out differently.
The danger of texting back and forth for a while is that the more time that passes without you closing the deal (setting a date), the quicker she loses interest and the texting becomes boring.
You must ask a girl out A-sap so that you can meet in person and start building sexual tension via voice tone, facial animation and body language.
If you don’t meet in person sooner than later, some other dude will be bold enough to pull the trigger. Yep, and he’ll be the one escalating sexual triggers with her!
If you went back and forth for more than two days without asking her out or confirming plans, she has likely lost interest.
Women are attracted to men who take the lead, who show certainty and who act accordingly — by asking her out!
Can you recover?
But you’ll have to be bolder now than before. Show her that you can lead, be certain and act on that confidence.
Text her something like this:
Hey, Beautiful. I’m taking you to __ on Saturday, look pretty! That’ll be easy for you 😉
If you haven’t asked her about food allergies or preferences — which you should have if your intention was to take her out for dinner (the only choice for a first date if you want to stand out from the schmucks who offer to meet for “coffee and a walk”) — then you’re just going to have to use the assumptive rule and hope she tells you about her restaurant conditions. Choose a place that has a varied menu.
After she replies, you can work out what time you’ll pick her up or meet her there.
At this point, she may already have other plans. Dude, this is why you should be on my text coaching program. But since you’re not, then let’s try to figure out how you can regain some traction.
Yes, but you didn’t officiate the plans, man. And from Saturday to Friday or Saturday is a long time in the dating world.
In this case, I’d leave her alone for a few days and then ask her out on Wednesday or Thursday for Friday or Saturday respectively.
What I mean is that if leaving her alone for two days lands you on Wednesday to text her again, then make a date for Friday. But if leaving her alone for two days lands you on a Thursday, then make the date for Saturday.
The idea is that no matter which day you are making arrangements for the date, you’re “busy” on the other day. (Even if busy is hanging out with your cat, but don’t mention that part.) If you tell her you’d like to take her out for dinner on Friday, tell her you saved your Friday for her!
What’s our motto? Right! Always leave them wanting more. Sometimes, this means they don’t get you at all if your plans don’t match up because you’ve got a full life. (Or at least you want her to think so!)
Go for bold! Ask her out! If she doesn’t reply, move on immediately, no further texts required (or recommended).
If she says she’s now busy this weekend — your own fault for dropping the get-a-date ball — then you’ll have to give her a reason to make time for you next weekend. Hint: The reason starts with your attitude about yourself as a bad-ass bold leader boy, er, man! Man leader!
If she’s moved on or totally lost interest, consider it a learning lesson on when to text a girl and what to write. Move on and never, never, never speak bitterly or she’ll never, never, never think of coming back.
How can I help support you find, attract and keep your special sweetheart?
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Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam