When to Text a Girl

How Soon Should I Text Her?

Recently, I received this question from a loyal www.YouTube.com/WingmamTV follower: How soon should I text her again? When to text a girl back depends on the situation, but there are general guidelines on when to text a girl and when to hold off.

His full inquiry about when to text her back:

Last Saturday, I got a girl’s phone number and I’ve sent her a few texts since then but I haven’t heard back from her. Do you think she flaked or am I over-thinking it possibly? While talking with her, she said she was free this Friday and Saturday and agreed to me taking her out when I asked her and it seemed like there was a connection there so I’m confused now. Thoughts? How much longer do you think I should wait before I forget about her and move on?

Let’s go over when to text a girl and how soon you should text her back bit by bit …

First of all, kudos! You got a girl’s number! You’re miles ahead of 99% of other guys who wanted her phone number but didn’t have the balls to talk to her let alone ask for her contact info.

You got her phone number on a Saturday. Did you ask her what she was doing that night?

If you go in with the attitude that she’s one lucky lady that you happen to be free tonight because “your other plans got cancelled” — those other plans being anything or doing nothing — then you can make her feel like she’s won the lottery getting to see you so soon. *wink*

If you’re really bold and throw in that playful wink! You can even say those exact words, teasingly playful, not with cocky arrogance, of course.

Now, if you didn’t ask her out for a date that very night, but instead went into texting back and forth for a while, the situation could play out differently.

The danger of texting back and forth for a while is that the more time that passes without you closing the deal (setting a date), the quicker she loses interest and the texting becomes boring.

You must ask a girl out A-sap so that you can meet in person and start building sexual tension via voice tone, facial animation and body language.

If you don’t meet in person sooner than later, some other dude will be bold enough to pull the trigger. Yep, and he’ll be the one escalating sexual triggers with her!

Did she flake or are you overthinking?

If you went back and forth for more than two days without asking her out or confirming plans, she has likely lost interest.

Women are attracted to men who take the lead, who show certainty and who act accordingly — by asking her out!

Can you recover?


But you’ll have to be bolder now than before. Show her that you can lead, be certain and act on that confidence.


Text her something like this:

Hey, Beautiful. I’m taking you to __ on Saturday, look pretty! That’ll be easy for you 😉

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how to flirt with women – be bold!

If you haven’t asked her about food allergies or preferences — which you should have if your intention was to take her out for dinner (the only choice for a first date if you want to stand out from the schmucks who offer to meet for “coffee and a walk”) — then you’re just going to have to use the assumptive rule and hope she tells you about her restaurant conditions. Choose a place that has a varied menu.

After she replies, you can work out what time you’ll pick her up or meet her there.

At this point, she may already have other plans. Dude, this is why you should be on my text coaching program. But since you’re not, then let’s try to figure out how you can regain some traction.

But she’d already agreed to go out with me …

Yes, but you didn’t officiate the plans, man. And from Saturday to Friday or Saturday is a long time in the dating world.

In this case, I’d leave her alone for a few days and then ask her out on Wednesday or Thursday for Friday or Saturday respectively.

What I mean is that if leaving her alone for two days lands you on Wednesday to text her again, then make a date for Friday. But if leaving her alone for two days lands you on a Thursday, then make the date for Saturday.

The idea is that no matter which day you are making arrangements for the date, you’re “busy” on the other day. (Even if busy is hanging out with your cat, but don’t mention that part.) If you tell her you’d like to take her out for dinner on Friday, tell her you saved your Friday for her!

What’s our motto? Right! Always leave them wanting more. Sometimes, this means they don’t get you at all if your plans don’t match up because you’ve got a full life. (Or at least you want her to think so!)

Keep trying or give up and move on?

Go for bold! Ask her out! If she doesn’t reply, move on immediately, no further texts required (or recommended).

If something significant came up in her life and she’s legitimately distracted for a while but really did dig you, she’ll be back. Let her come to you.best dating app best dating sites

If she says she’s now busy this weekend — your own fault for dropping the get-a-date ball — then you’ll have to give her a reason to make time for you next weekend. Hint: The reason starts with your attitude about yourself as a bad-ass bold leader boy, er, man! Man leader!

You now have two choices:
  1. Text her this: Ok, I dropped the ball on this one, but I want to see you so I’m going to check in next Wednesday to firm up some plans. Is that a yes?
  2. Call her and say the same thing as in #1. As soon as she giggles and says, “Yes, Ok Ok,” confidently and with some cheekiness say, “Good. I just wanted to make sure. I’ve gotta go, but I’ll be in touch next week.” Keep it short, sweet, and direct. I guarantee she’ll find that sexy.

If she’s moved on or totally lost interest, consider it a learning lesson on when to text a girl and what to write. Move on and never, never, never speak bitterly or she’ll never, never, never think of coming back.

Extra Tips for When to Text a Girl

  1. If your planned date is more than 2 to 3 days away, don’t text every day between now and then. What’s our motto? (Dude, you forgot already? *sigh* Always leave them wanting more!)
  2. If your planned date is a week or more away, make sure you do not text her on at least 1 to 2 of those days. You’ve got a busy life, remember? What’s our motto, Sir? Right, always leave them wanting more! Hate head games? This ain’t no game. It’s strategy, and without it you’ve got no game and will get no dame.
  3. Always confirm a date 2 to 3 days in advance and on the day of the date. It can be as simple as this text: “I can’t wait to see your pretty face, again, Friday.” and “See you at 7pm, Beautiful ;)”

Any questions?

xo AJ

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About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam

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