How to Talk to Women? (in Social Settings)

Talking to Women at Parties

This question came through on my #AskMeAnything forum from a man who had recently had a confusing experience at a party. The experience had him wondering about how to talk to women without turning them off.

At the party, Ryan had met “an extremely beautiful girl” and started talking to her. Woohoo, Ryan!

After a few minutes of chatting, she left him and sat somewhere away from him. Boohoo, Ryan.

Ryan asked me why this could’ve happened. He mentioned that he’s a good-looking guy and didn’t think he had said anything offending. He thought that he’d been pretty good at “getting into the conversation.”

Nonetheless, no matter how charming Ryan thought he was with this dreamy gal, she didn’t show any interest. And since she left and didn’t come back, the evidence is clear that she just wasn’t that into him.

So, what happened that made this lovely dame ditch and sit?

How to Talk to Women Tip

Men are far more visually stimulated than women are. (It’s a brain / penis thing.)

Women do appreciate a good-looking guy, but …

It takes more negative stimulus for a guy to get turned off by what a pretty girl says or does than it does for a girl to get turned off by what a good-looking guy says or does.

So, Ryan may have said something that turned her off. Or it’s just as likely that he didn’t say something to turn her on. 

I’m not talking about making her moist. If a guy wants to stimulate physical / sexual attraction, he must first stimulate a woman’s mind.

In fact, if you’re very good looking, a woman may be leery of you because she may think of you as being vain or a player.

If so, you’ll have to work harder to prove that you’re not just a pretty face but a sharp mind, too.

What Did Ryan Do Wrong? (Did He Do Anything Wrong?)

If the gal Ryan was talking to left suddenly or with a scowl, he may have said something “wrong,” but if she drifted away or took the first opportunity to leave without being rude, it could be that he was a boring conversationalist.

To be crude: If Ryan wants to get a woman — into bed or as a wife, he must make love to her mind first. To be prude-ish: He must create stimulating conversation.

Mind stimulation and mind games are two different things. The former is a Fuck Yes for her; the latter will get you Fucked Less. (In the long run.)

Every woman wants mental stimulation. No woman wants to be manipulated.

Create Stimulating Conversation aka Make Love to Her Mind

A woman’s mind is complicated. To get turned on, she requires stimulation from all the senses — sight, sound, smell, touch and taste.


Did she like the look of Ryan? She’ll evaluate your appearance before you’re within 10 feet of her!

She will consciously or unconsciously notice what you’re wearing, how you walk, how your posture is (do you stand tall or slump) and, yes, how good looking you are.


Did Ryan sound confident? She will notice the tone, pitch and volume of your voice. Can you make her laugh? Bonus!


How did Ryan smell? Do you smell, dude? Hint: smell good, but go light on the cologne. Get your teeth cleaned. Bad breath is a major and instant turn-off. Pheromones? Well, that’s up to God to decide if you’re a match. Sorry on that one, Ryan and other dudes.


Did Ryan touch her early, often and appropriately? Physical touch requires crossing an intimacy barrier. Don’t touch her like you’d touch your best bro.

Touch her like you’d touch your granny. What? Yeah, watch this video for more deets.

Everything noted above is evaluated by a woman and has meaning to her.


If Ryan passes all the above requirements, the only way to know if he’ll pass the “taste test” is to kiss her. If he doesn’t pass the above requirements, he won’t get to kiss her. Oh, well. Next!

If he didn’t do any of these things, she either thought he wasn’t that interested, wasn’t that interesting or wasn’t alpha enough.

xo AJ

p.s. This is #JustTheTip of the iceberg, my dude friends. If you want to know everything that a woman is looking for in any man and how to give it to her while being the real you, you NEED to invest in yourself.

With my WakeUP2Luv course. Women like men who accomplish things. Stop being a procrastinator and buy it today and go from Dud to Stud. #cheesycheeserson

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Cheers to your success in life and love! Love is the answer, people!!

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam

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