Going on a first date at all can be intimidating never mind knowing what to talk about on a first date. For guys especially, it can be hard to open up to a girl on a first date or keep the conversation going.
And in the technology-driven world we live in, there’s a good chance that you may have never met this woman before. What’s a guy to do?
Luckily for you, we are here to help! In today’s article, we’re going to walk through some great conversation starters that all guys should have in their back pocket for a first date.
Anyone can ask someone where they work or went to college, but not many people expand the conversation from there. Why not ask what they enjoyed best about their time in college, about their college friends, or about what their work culture is like.
Many of us expect the first question and then ask the question to our date in return. This takes the conversation nowhere and keeps it on the surface level.
Asking follow-up questions is an excellent dating tip to keep in mind for any date you’ll be going on in the future.
People love to talk about themselves in general, but even the most introverted person will love the opportunity to talk about something they are passionate about.
So ask them about the activities and things that occupy their time outside of work. This is also a great way to see if you have any common interests.
Also, if the date goes well, you can use one of their interests as a future date idea.
Yes, some people do have complicated family relationships, but for the most part, people are comfortable talking about where they grew up and what their parents do.
You will be able to get to know more about their personality by seeing the way they were raised and how they react to talking about certain members of their family.
Asking about friends is great because everyone has friends they hang out with that they can easily talk about.
Especially if you think the date is going well, you will want a heads up to what their friends are like. You never know how soon you might be meeting some of them.
These are questions that are great ways to break the ice and get a deeper and more meaningful conversation flowing.
Some examples of these questions are:
There are unlimited options in this category. The point is to learn a lot about the person through short and fun questions.
If you are nervous about thinking of some off the top of your head, keep a list in your pocket that you may be able to look at throughout the evening casually.
By this I mean asking questions about:
These topics can open you up to their interests. It’s also an easy way to bond quickly and establish some mutual trust.
How do you know if a conversation or question is appropriate for the first date? We’ll answer that question below.
Yes, you want to self-disclose to get closer to your date, but you don’t want to overload them.
It is appropriate to talk about your job, fun things you do in your spare time, etc. However, it’s not appropriate to talk about all your current family drama, your insecurities, and greatest fears. These are better for much further down the line.
If you self-disclose too much too soon, your date is going to be rightfully freaked out and want to run away.
Don’t ask the dreaded, “so, tell me about your past relationships” question on the first date.
Your relationship history should come after you have spent more time together and see this going further.
Your past relationship status is nothing to be ashamed of, but you also don’t want to talk too much about an ex on a date with another girl. They may get jealous and will most likely assume you are not over that girl. (AJ note: True! Even if this gal is totally self-secure!)
Unless both of you work in the political field or have bonded over political issues, it might be good to leave this one for a later date. If you are both opinionated, you can wind up fighting on your first date instead of having a good time.
Be wise about other sensitive topics (like politics) that you may not want to bring up on a first date. A date could be going wonderfully until you ask her how she feels about guns in schools.
Leave those heavy topics until you get to know each other a little better and can look past if she disagrees with you on one of those more sensitive topics.
Asking about income is completely inappropriate for a first date!
This is a conversation that should be discussed only if you are dating seriously or looking towards marriage.
Likewise, don’t ask them how much debt they may be in or how much money they got back on their taxes.
We can all feel insecure and worried about impressing the other person on a first date. That is completely natural. But, you don’t want to lie to anyone, especially someone you may have a future with.
Women respect when men are confident in who they are and don’t apologize for who they aren’t.
And don’t you want someone to like you for you? Not the person you are trying to be? Be honest when she asks questions. (AJ note: If she asks about money issues, simply redirect the convo.)
As you can see, there are many things you should discuss and many things you shouldn’t discuss on a first date. I wish you the best of luck as you journey into the dating scene and hope that this first date can lead to a second one!
Rachel Watson is the website manager at OurStart.com. OurStart is a lifestyle blog that publishes content on pregnancy, parenting, relationships, and marriage. When she is not writing, Rachel enjoys spending time with her family and friends, exploring cute cafes, and feeding her unhealthy stationary addiction. (AJ note: #stationaryaddiction #Igetit!)
AJ note: Well, guys, do you have some new ideas for what to talk about on a first date? Any surprises in there? Let us know in the comments!
And if you’re ready to become the man of her dreams — your dream girl’s dreams! — then check out my WakeUP2Luv Get a GF program. Not only will you be become her dream man, but you’ll fricken love your life in the meantime. I promise. Do it.
Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam