Mistake Men Make in How to Get Her Number! (True Story)

Never Give a Girl Your Number (And How to Get Her Number!)

A loyal WingmamTV YouTube subscriber had the balls to ask a girl out — YES! Go, dude, go for it (her)! But. Here’s the “but” … he made the most common mistake in how to get her number.

What’s the most common mistake men make in how to get a girl’s number?

He gave her his number.

Here’s why you should never give a girl your number.

First let’s look at his comment… because — YO, high five! — and then we’ll break it down.

I finally got the courage to approach and talk to a woman that I feel this insane level of attraction for.

She just has this presence about her (more than looks) that absolutely boggles my mind.  I told her exactly that… I said, “I can’t specify what it is but you have this presence about you that is absolutely beautiful!”  

She seemed stunned… I told her it was no pickup line, nor was it just about her looks.  

Long story short… She tells me she has been dating someone for 6 months but seemed interested when I said I would like to take her on an old fashioned real date.  

She told me, yeah it’s sad, it’s not that way anymore.    

I left by giving her my number, not because I didn’t have the guts to get hers… 

But she told me she was dating this other guy for a while now.  So I gave her my number, I told her it’s no pressure but if things change, to call me, I want to take her out on a date.    

Prior to this, she gives me lots of direct eye contact etc.  

Two questions…. I was being very genuine with her… 

Can women sense that vs the guy who just wants them for a fling ?  

Also…. Did I handle her dating situation well by giving her my number and saying, if things change, call me?

What he did right in how to get her number:

  1. Double bonus points for courage. Fuck yah! Because it’s tough enough approaching girls you’re not attracted to never mind approaching and asking out one who you’re “insanely attracted to.” #srsly
  2. Points for a direct non-sexual compliment. He had the confidence (or faked it well enough) to tell her specifically and directly what turns him on about her — but not in a sexual way. Hint: If you’re into a girl she innately knows you wanna get naked with her! #obvi
  3. Another point for the “old fashioned date” vs the ultra lame “wanna hang out sometime?” which is why she was shocked. Sadly, few guys ask a girl for a proper date, anymore. But shocked doesn’t mean attracted or interested.
  4. Finally, a point for reiterating even after she rejected his offer that he still wanted to take her out on a date. No vagueness speaks volumes in alpha maleness.

Dude, you got 5 points on the pluses! 

What wasn’t as effective:

  1. He gave her his number. 
  2. He didn’t get her number.

From the above two items deduct all the points gained in what he did right.

Here’s why…

If you give a girl your number, then when you ask for hers she can easily avoid it by saying, “I’ve got yours, I’ll let you know.”

But here’s the kicker — she won’t let you know. 

Even if she is interested! 

Well, unless she’s totally desperate and needy. You want that? 

Ok, so maybe you do, as a practice relationship, but we’re talking about girls you don’t wanna practice with, we’re talking about the ones you never wanna lose.

So assuming you’re playing for a keeper…

Why worth-it girls won’t call contact you if you give them your number:

  1. She’ll feel like a disloyal girlfriend to her current guy. But worse, she’ll feel like you’ll see her as a disloyal girlfriend and who really wants a potential cheater/player/etc?
  2. A part of her thinks you’re weak for not going for what you want (her) by at least securing a means of finding her (her phone number), because she knows she won’t contact you first! Refer back to previous item.
  3. Feminine women want their men to be masculine. Men chase, women choose. Alpha men go after what they want and don’t settle for coming in second. They fight for what they want!
  4. If she’s not that sure about you, she knows that if she reaches out you’ll think she’s more interested than she actually is. That’s a lot of pressure for a chick. Plus, women are natural nurturers and hate disappointing or hurting people so we avoid that risk.
  5. She’s being polite but she really is into her guy and didn’t want to bruise your tender ego — all men have tender egos — especially after your valiant approach.

The Wingmam Simple Solution (aka how to get her number)

Say this, “How about we do this… “

Say that while looking for new contact entry in your phone, this way you’re not staring at her making her feel pressured and it feels more casual to her. 

Women are emotional creatures, yes we can feel your energy and intention.

Continue with, “ … you put your number in my phone…” 

While passing your phone to her on a new contact entry page. (Make it easy for her to say yes!)

“… and I’ll text you a simple hello, nothing more…”

Gauge her reaction. She may just give you her number!

But if not, because of an alleged boyfriend, then say,

“… Don’t worry, I respect your loyalty, so I’m just gonna say hello and then check back in 6 months to see if he’s still treating you right.”

If you’re really bold, throw in a wink and a cheeky grin.

Why This Works

  1. She can be/feel/seem like a loyal girlfriend.
  2. She puts the ball back in your court, and you put your balls back in your pants and get to be the pursuer aka alpha aka sexy guy she respects. (And may want.)
  3. You can actually follow up! 

Again, if she still won’t give you her number then she’s not interested even if she’s flattered and even if she’s (in that moment) slightly attracted.

So what, move on, next.

Bonus Tip #JustTheTip

Text her this right after your leave — yes, even if (especially if) she can still visually see you! 

Let’s assume her name is Claire…

“Hello, Beautiful Claire. He still treating you right? ;)”

If she gave you her (correct) number, then she’ll think this is funny and associated the feel-good feeling with you. 

You can then gauge her reaction and interaction from there. 

Bonus Tip 2: Do not over-pursue! 

Wingmam Motto: Always leave them wanting more!

xo AJ

p.s. You’ll up your Sexy AF factor by taking action as recommended in my GET A GF COURSE.

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam

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