How to Approach Women (Without Intimidating or Scaring Them)

How to Approach Women When You is a Hottie 😉

I received a question from a WingmamTV YouTube viewer asking how to approach women when you’re a good looking guy.

Here’s his Question:

I’m a good looking guy and quietly confident (independent, doing my own stuff, body language) but girls look scared and shy of me. Is it because they think I’m way out of their league or something? I want them to feel comfy around me.

For all the not-so-good-looking guys out there, read and learn!

Dear Outta Her League,

Let’s break this down in point form:

  1. Kudos for recognizing that you’re a good looking guy and being able to state that! Seriously. It seems you’re not arrogant because you’ve readily admitted that you’re “quietly” confident, which tells me you’re humble, or at least come off that way, and that’s even more attractive.
  2. Independent is another sexy quality because you don’t need to be constantly with someone to have a life. Not restricting your activities due to insecurity or shyness makes you interesting.
  3. Confident body language is the first impression a girl sees. Yes, even more than good looks! #truth

#1 Thing Every Guy Needs to Know About How to Approach Women

Women will be intimidated by any man who walks up to them with confidence, because it takes testosterone to have the balls to approach women.

Testosterone is the aggressive hormone and men have 20 times more of this hormone than women do.

And women instinctively know this.

So, when a girl doesn’t know that you’re safe, her automatic self-safety switch has to be to assume you’re not! (Until proved differently.)

The good news is that when you prove to her that you are safe then that confidence you showed in approaching her will have the opposite effect.

What I mean is that she will now feel extra safe with you because she’ll instinctively feel like you have the confidence to protect her.

Makes sense?

How to Approach Women When You is a Hottie?

Option 1:

You gotta be way more subtle.

Be subtle because if you’re super bold she’s going to assume you get a lot of “action” and are a player.

And even though pick up artist moves can work on many a girl, they don’t work so well on the kinds of girl you want as your girlfriend.

If you want a quality girl, then you gotta ditch the pick up artist attitude.

But I digress.

So, if you’re hot … pretend you’re not.



The better looking you are, the more you gotta play down your ultra confidence. Be a little awkward, even shy.

This will totally catch her off guard and intrigue her.

Women naturally need to nurture and she’ll go straight into trying to make you feel comfortable and welcome.


Look around at what shy, nerdy, awkward guys do. They drop their head, look away, don’t hold eye contact, stumble on their words.

Ok, yeah, this is kind of staged, but you asked for strategies to make a girl feel comfy, and this is it.

Once you’ve wooed her into feeling comfortable with you then build your confidence back in.

Make her feel safe first.

Option 2:

Be your confident self, just keep in mind that even when a girl seems shy, quiet, coy, demure etc, she may actually be interested. Approach with caution and awareness of women’s primary need: to feel safe.

How to Approach Women if You is Ugly AF…

…or short or poor or have small feet or whatever else you’re insecure about…

The exact opposite of everything I just wrote above.

You gotta surprise the gal.

Be bold.

how to flirt with women

Hold eye contact. Take up space. Cock your head to the side while smiling like you know something secret about her.

Remember the saying, “Fake it til you make it.”

Practice on girls that are under your league. Advance to chicks that are at your level. And soon enough, you’ll be able to approach any girl.

Not saying you’ll get every girl or any girl. Of course not.

Even hotties don’t get every girl, even though sure they probably get more. But so what, you’re not competing with other dudes.

The more you practice, the more you’ll get comfortable talking to girls and then one day you’ll meet one that fits just right. And she’ll like you right back.

I promise.

A Final Note on How to Approach Women for All Men

Women often feel shy and awkward when she knows a guy is checking her out.

This applies whether you’re hot or not.

But just because she looks down or away or avoids eye contact does not mean she’s not interested!

Many girls tell me how they automatically “play coy” by accident when they actually like the guy and they miss out on many opportunities.

So, best to always go for it! Because…

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. ~ Wayne Gretzky

xo AJ

How to Get a Girlfriend

If you want the road map to getting a girlfriend, even if you’re ugly, shy or insecure AF, check out my video course: WakeUP2Luv: Get a Girlfriend. Guaranteed.

What have you got to lose? (Hint: loneliness, dude, you’ve got loneliness to lose and your solo life that kinda sucks.)

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam

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