Hypergamy — What is Female Nature?
Hypergamy. Definition: The action of marrying a person of superior caste or class.
In dating, hypergamy looks like women going for men “out of their league” in terms of status, power, wealth, attractiveness and / or intelligence.
Hypergamy is a psychological tendency created through evolution — or if you don’t believe in evolution, then consider social conditioning.
I think both physiological and sociological aspects apply.
For men, this means that in order to have the best chance of mating with a desirable (somewhat subjective) high value woman, you’ll need to get better to avoid getting bitter.
The theory for why women are hypergamous is that men in socially advantageous positions are able to provide, protect and procreate better than men who won’t have those advantages.
Let’s explore what provide, protect, procreate look like in the modern world.
Don’t get discouraged, later we’ll go into what you, Joe blow, can do to increase your value in all areas even if you don’t currently or naturally excel in any.
Provide
At a base level, when a man is able to provide for a woman and their potential family, she won’t have to worry about living under a bridge wondering where her next meal will come from.
At an advanced level, this may look like comfortable —or even luxurious — living accommodations; abundant food on the table; reputable or private schools and higher education for his children etc.
Protect
At a base level, when a man is able to protect a woman and his potential family, she won’t worry about being raped in an alley (or under that bridge).
At an advanced level, this can look like being able to pay the bills so they’re not going to be living under said bridge.
Procreate
At a base level, when a man is (or appears) healthy, the woman trusts that her offspring will have the greatest survival and success rate.
At an advanced level, their children will excel in multiple areas of life and her ego will get stroked at the PTA meetings.
Like it or not, women notice and are consciously or unconsciously attracted to the obvious evidence of the qualities.
That’s why men who have status, power, wealth, attractiveness and intelligence are going to get noticed first.
Now, let’s explore the base needs that status, power, wealth, attractiveness and intelligence plays in how women — unconsciously or not — evaluate men.
Women’s Basic Hypergamous Desires
Status / Power
When people respect and admire a man, he automatically has advantages that play into the provide and protect factors.
Fair or not, people with high status or in positions of power are viewed with a biased esteem that opens doors for them.
Wealth
This one is obvious. With money, there is no living under a bridge and there are a host of other advantages and conveniences money can and does buy.
Attractiveness
The reality about attractiveness is that evidence of health is the biggest influence for women, if considered solely in an of itself.
What I mean is that, in general, a short, fit man is more attractive than a taller, obese man.
(Remember, we’re not factoring in status, power, wealth or intelligence.)
Even though women do often have non typical “types” they’re interested in, there are many factors to health that affect perceived attractiveness at a base level for all women.
Intelligence
An intelligent man can get a couple out of a tricky life situation. At least, that’s the assumption a woman makes.
She also assumes he can impress others in social settings and potentially provide sage wisdom on how to advance their well-being as a family.
Most of these perceptions aren’t consciously created by women, they’re simply ingrained and it doesn’t even matter if having children is not a goal.
How to Make Hypergamy Work for You
I like to focus on what you can do to get what you want.
It’s your choice to learn, practice, stumble, get up and grow. Or to give up.
Women are looking for the highest value man they can get, the sooner men get over this reality, the better they’ll feel.
So, what if you don’t have status, power, wealth, good looks or intelligence?
You can work to improve each of those areas in ways you:
- are capable of
- would value even if choosing to remain single #MGTOW
Side effects include:
- increased self-respect
- increased respect from others (includng women)
When you take action toward improving your life for you, you will feel better instead of bitter.
You have choices.
You can choose to pursue (not chase) women or not and you’ll be just fine, because you validate yourself, so you don’t need anyone else to, including women.
Hypergamy Tips
All Women Are…
Assume all women are hypergamous. Better safe than single. You have to game your gal forever after.
That’s life. Get over it.
Self-development is Forever
Always work on self-development and becoming your better self. It’s a lifelong journey not a destination.
#selfrespect #choices #purpose #suckitup
Your Power is Here…
Whoever is willing to walk away from the deal has the greater negotiating power.
Your mindset from here to eternity is that you’re always willing to walk away from the deal.
Hint: Don’t get married.
Hypergamy on the Decline?? Nah.
In the Western World, in bigger cities, women are graduating college at a rate of 2:1 compared to men; and in smaller towns at a rate of 4:1.
Translation: women no longer need your money.
But they’re still hypergamous!
Don’t Settle!
Don’t settle to settle down or you’ll choose poorly and wind up bitter (not better).
Hint again: If you do get married, don’t marry down.
Choose a woman who brings as much to the table as you do, financially, and then excel at providing the other areas of hypergamy she’s looking for. (Status, power, attractiveness, intelligence.)
How to Prove / Improve Your Self
There are an array of areas you can improve that will make you feel better and make women more attracted to you.
I go into specific details in my WakeUP2Luv program, but let’s get you started with a few examples directly related to status, power, wealth, looks, intelligence.
Status
Have friends and a social life! Yes, this takes effort. Try #ManTalks
Power
Lead in some area of your life. Start and lead a meetup group for a hobby or interest you’re passionate about.
Wealth
Get a better job if yours sucks.
Or start that side hustle you’ve been talking about for years.
Have a savings account. Put money in it!
Women want men who have “the capacity to be productive and share” not wealth. ~ Dr. Jordan Peterson
Looks
Workout! Eat well, get fit, groom yourself, dress properly for your body, and most importantly, carry yourself with confident self-assurance.
Intelligence
Master something. Read a non-fiction book. Learn something new!
Just trying to do some of these things will make you feel better about yourself and your life and…
..provides proof to women of commitment, social value, leadership, certainty, responsibility / accountability, initiative, drive, purpose, and intelligence.
#SEXY
A Final Note on Female Nature
Women don’t (can’t) love the same way men do.
Women don’t love unconditionally, except for the first few years they’re mothers.
Even though you unconsciously long for the love you had from your mother as a child— whether or not you actually experienced it — you will not find that love in a romantic partner.
It’s simply biology / sociology.
When you get past the red pill rage and accept women’s hypergamous nature, life becomes strikingly easier.
And if it makes you feel any better, there are things women want from men that they’ll never get because men and women are simply different in some ways.
So, what’s one area in your life that you’ll respect yourself more for taking action on today?
Comment!
You got this. 😉
xo AJ
p.s. If you want step-by-step assistance to work on the areas of your life that need work, please consider investing in yourself with my WakeUP2Luv video program. “Improve Your Life” is just one of the 5 comprehensive modules.
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My experience is that all of those will get you in the door, but other factors affect long term relationships. Consider this. I’m an Aerospace Engineer. My work is literally in orbit or beyond. I am a long service military veteran currently finishing his time in the Reserves, with actual combat time on 4 continents. I worked in Law enforcement and have put away criminals, ect, ect. I have no problem atracting women. Keeping them…..Somewhere in all my relationships…every….single…one…I hear the dread phrase…”You really are a nice guy/sweetheart”. At this point I know that she will be leaving within 6 months at the most. And each and every one has left for a “bad boy” with no education, no wealth, sometimes no job, had not contributed to society…but has that one over riding criteria….he is a bad boy. Further, without exception they all chose men who are abusive. About half are still with the abusive man, but bitch all the time. AND all of them have made an effort to reconnect with me telling me “you’re the one that got away”. Most of them can’t even tell you why they are still with the abusive partner. Just that they “can’t leave”. So, sure, all of those are great for getting women, but unless you want to live a lie, those are just not long term standards. I’m really begining to think that all women really want is to be pulled by the hair back to the cave…regardless of what they SAY they want. Hell, just ask my ex wife who left me for an abusive alcholic, that can’t hold a job and has not had the physical capablity for sex for 20 years…I kid you not. At our daughters wedding she embarrassed our daughter because she had to be reminded, constantly, of who her current husband was… yet told me she can’t leave him, and does not know why. That she was happy with me but left me in a heart beat when she met him. Happens to me all the time. I’m everyones favorite ex….
Sir, You are not alone ! This is way more common than most people realize. It has happened to me and many others. The 1,000,000 dollars question is why any woman would want to give up a man that provides a secure household and future divorce her husband and take the kids and live in poverty. And for some reason they always quickly hook up with some loser who never had the equivalent of 2 nickels to rub together and obviously never will !! And then more than likely uses the child support to help support this loser boyfriend ?????
WHERE’S THE HYPERGAMY IN THIS !!
There will become a day when all this catches up with these women. In the U.S. the old social security rule was that if a woman was married for 10 or more years she was entitled
to collect of her previous husband’s earnings. The law was changed awhile back making this unavailable to anyone born after Jan. 1 1954. Gone. Most women knew about this benefit.
Wish you all the best !