Hypergamy. Definition: The action of marrying a person of superior caste or class.
In dating, hypergamy looks like women going for men “out of their league” in terms of status, power, wealth, attractiveness and / or intelligence.
Hypergamy is a psychological tendency created through evolution — or if you don’t believe in evolution, then consider social conditioning.
I think both physiological and sociological aspects apply.
For men, this means that in order to have the best chance of mating with a desirable (somewhat subjective) high value woman, you’ll need to get better to avoid getting bitter.
The theory for why women are hypergamous is that men in socially advantageous positions are able to provide, protect and procreate better than men who won’t have those advantages.
Don’t get discouraged, later we’ll go into what you, Joe blow, can do to increase your value in all areas even if you don’t currently or naturally excel in any.
At a base level, when a man is able to provide for a woman and their potential family, she won’t have to worry about living under a bridge wondering where her next meal will come from.
At an advanced level, this may look like comfortable —or even luxurious — living accommodations; abundant food on the table; reputable or private schools and higher education for his children etc.
At a base level, when a man is able to protect a woman and his potential family, she won’t worry about being raped in an alley (or under that bridge).
At an advanced level, this can look like being able to pay the bills so they’re not going to be living under said bridge.
At a base level, when a man is (or appears) healthy, the woman trusts that her offspring will have the greatest survival and success rate.
At an advanced level, their children will excel in multiple areas of life and her ego will get stroked at the PTA meetings.
Like it or not, women notice and are consciously or unconsciously attracted to the obvious evidence of the qualities.
That’s why men who have status, power, wealth, attractiveness and intelligence are going to get noticed first.
Now, let’s explore the base needs that status, power, wealth, attractiveness and intelligence plays in how women — unconsciously or not — evaluate men.
When people respect and admire a man, he automatically has advantages that play into the provide and protect factors.
Fair or not, people with high status or in positions of power are viewed with a biased esteem that opens doors for them.
This one is obvious. With money, there is no living under a bridge and there are a host of other advantages and conveniences money can and does buy.
The reality about attractiveness is that evidence of health is the biggest influence for women, if considered solely in an of itself.
What I mean is that, in general, a short, fit man is more attractive than a taller, obese man.
(Remember, we’re not factoring in status, power, wealth or intelligence.)
Even though women do often have non typical “types” they’re interested in, there are many factors to health that affect perceived attractiveness at a base level for all women.
An intelligent man can get a couple out of a tricky life situation. At least, that’s the assumption a woman makes.
She also assumes he can impress others in social settings and potentially provide sage wisdom on how to advance their well-being as a family.
Most of these perceptions aren’t consciously created by women, they’re simply ingrained and it doesn’t even matter if having children is not a goal.
I like to focus on what you can do to get what you want.
It’s your choice to learn, practice, stumble, get up and grow. Or to give up.
Women are looking for the highest value man they can get, the sooner men get over this reality, the better they’ll feel.
So, what if you don’t have status, power, wealth, good looks or intelligence?
Side effects include:
When you take action toward improving your life for you, you will feel better instead of bitter.
You have choices.
You can choose to pursue (not chase) women or not and you’ll be just fine, because you validate yourself, so you don’t need anyone else to, including women.
Assume all women are hypergamous. Better safe than single. You have to game your gal forever after.
That’s life. Get over it.
Always work on self-development and becoming your better self. It’s a lifelong journey not a destination.
#selfrespect #choices #purpose #suckitup
Whoever is willing to walk away from the deal has the greater negotiating power.
Your mindset from here to eternity is that you’re always willing to walk away from the deal.
Hint: Don’t get married.
In the Western World, in bigger cities, women are graduating college at a rate of 2:1 compared to men; and in smaller towns at a rate of 4:1.
Translation: women no longer need your money.
But they’re still hypergamous!
Don’t settle to settle down or you’ll choose poorly and wind up bitter (not better).
Hint again: If you do get married, don’t marry down.
Choose a woman who brings as much to the table as you do, financially, and then excel at providing the other areas of hypergamy she’s looking for. (Status, power, attractiveness, intelligence.)
There are an array of areas you can improve that will make you feel better and make women more attracted to you.
I go into specific details in my WakeUP2Luv program, but let’s get you started with a few examples directly related to status, power, wealth, looks, intelligence.
Have friends and a social life! Yes, this takes effort. Try #ManTalks
Lead in some area of your life. Start and lead a meetup group for a hobby or interest you’re passionate about.
Get a better job if yours sucks.
Or start that side hustle you’ve been talking about for years.
Have a savings account. Put money in it!
Women want men who have “the capacity to be productive and share” not wealth. ~ Dr. Jordan Peterson
Workout! Eat well, get fit, groom yourself, dress properly for your body, and most importantly, carry yourself with confident self-assurance.
Master something. Read a non-fiction book. Learn something new!
Just trying to do some of these things will make you feel better about yourself and your life and…
..provides proof to women of commitment, social value, leadership, certainty, responsibility / accountability, initiative, drive, purpose, and intelligence.
Women don’t (can’t) love the same way men do.
Women don’t love unconditionally, except for the first few years they’re mothers.
Even though you unconsciously long for the love you had from your mother as a child— whether or not you actually experienced it — you will not find that love in a romantic partner.
It’s simply biology / sociology.
When you get past the red pill rage and accept women’s hypergamous nature, life becomes strikingly easier.
And if it makes you feel any better, there are things women want from men that they’ll never get because men and women are simply different in some ways.
So, what’s one area in your life that you’ll respect yourself more for taking action on today?
You got this. 😉
p.s. If you want step-by-step assistance to work on the areas of your life that need work, please consider investing in yourself with my WakeUP2Luv video program. “Improve Your Life” is just one of the 5 comprehensive modules.
I searched far and wide for additional resources for men who want to be their best regardless of what women want.
For men who want to feel like men and have valuable masculine skills in all areas of life.
I am excited to be partnered as an affiliate with 21 Studios, the best one-stop resource for real men!
Please use these links when purchasing a membership or convention tickets as it helps me keep decent chocolate stocked in my cupboard!
21 Studios University Membership Site (Tons of videos!)
21 Studios Convention for Men (Make Men Even Better!)
22 Studios Convention for Women (Make Women Great Again™!)
Vancouver Dating Coach for Shy Guys & Introverted Men. Matchmaker Liaison. Founder: Wingmam