How to Balance Masculinity with Vulnerability

Balance Masculinity with Vulnerability

How’s a decent guy supposed to balance masculinity with vulnerability without becoming a weenie or a dick?

Setting phallic jokes aside, this is a real conundrum for fellas these days.

As you well know, women say they want men to be sensitive but when they are we get turned off.

Guys have emotions, a wide range of them, and that’s normal and healthy.

While at the same time, women are very sensitive to men acting like children or like women.

The reason is quite simple…

Others’ suffering triggers women’s maternal instincts.

Maternal is not the same as nurturing.

Maternal shuts off sexual attraction.

Holy a-ha moment, Batman!

Right, so that’s why men are wondering how to balance masculinity with vulnerability.

So, let’s get on with it…

How to Balance Masculinity with Vulnerability

  • 1. Be unapologetically you.
    • Authenticity is sexy.
    • Beta = Friend Zone ⚠️
  • 2. Don’t display emotions all at once.
    • Vulnerability requires trust.
    • Trust is earned with time and her positive actions / reactions.

Just The Tip 1

Did you know that she feels honoured when she earns your trust?

  • 3. Have standards, set boundaries, follow through on consequences.
    • Nurturing is not the same as mothering.
    • Mothering = maternal = dry taco! ?
  • 4. Have and maintain (male) friendships where you can share your vulnerabilities!
    • Friends
    • Family
    • Counsellor

Avoid inappropriate #intimate female friendships!

Just the Tip 2

Part of knowing how to balance masculinity with vulnerability is in keeping intrigue in the love game (without playing games).

Mystery is enticing!

Wingmam motto: Always leave them wanting more!

  • 5. Maintain some mystery!
  • 6. After revealing vulnerability — physically get back into your masculine A-sap!
    • Chop wood
    • Hockey / baseball etc
    • Motorbike ride
    • Sports bar with the guys
    • Build or fix something
    • Do anything “manly!”

Reclaim masculinity!

Masculine and feminine are polar energies.

When a man knows how to balance masculinity with vulnerability he reassures his woman in his alpha energy and she’s remains sexually attracted to him.

Just the Tip 3

Find non-judgmental good hearted men at conventions for modern alpha men who’ve learned how to balance masculinity with vulnerability.

These guys are your go-to tribe so you don’t dump too much on your dame.

Oh, what’s that, Anna J, you know just where to go to find these fellas?

Yes, yes, I do. Click here.

You’re welcome, you manly man you! ?

Resources

It’s not easy to open up to other guys and not all men are open, but there’s a need and it’s not beta.

And… part of an interview with Connor Beaton of ManTalks:

Find and attend, or start, a group for men who want to talk. It’s a brave thing to do.

Nervous? Start online anonymously. Ignore the trolls.

xo AJ

p.s. If you choose to reply, please do so in the public comments below the video where there’s a chance I’ll see it! (Not via email.) Thank you!

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)

Leave a Comment:

9 comments
Lew says April 15, 2020

It is a delicate issue, rife with risk. Your #4 especially.difficult to buy into. Men generally don’t do this unless the issue is extremely serious. Like life and death serious. It was more difficult to tell my close Buds I had cancer than to hear from the Urologist that I had to have one of my “boys” removed. Guys generally don’t want to hear it. Makes them feel vulnerable. If you go talking to your runn’n buddies that you are heart sick or hurt by your love interest the reaction is going to be very different from telling you Mom.
I’m still trying to figure out the “why?” for that one. What possible interest would a woman have in observing/knowing a man can do this with his close friends? I don’t see a nexus.

Reply
    Anna Jorgensen says April 15, 2020

    Some men can. Not saying it’s easy and not saying all men are open, but there’s a need and it’s not beta.
    Here’s part of an interview with Connor Beaton of ManTalks:https://youtu.be/eAbLE2vZlpI
    Here’s a talk by Mark Groves and Dallas Hartwig I attended, they talk about their bond as friends (and no, they’re not gay):https://bit.ly/MarkGroveDallasHartwig
    Here’s a resource and convention for men who are safe to share with: https://wingmam.com/21-studios/
    Find and attend, or start, a group for men who want to talk. It’s a brave thing to do.
    Nervous? Start online anonymously.
    Cheers and be well,
    Anna

    Reply
Tim Spain says April 15, 2020

Is it ok to open up to you sense your a coach ? My male buddy’s where at church. Now it’s not easy to get with friends. I’ll check out the on line info you gave. Thanks again for all you do.

Reply
    Anna Jorgensen says April 16, 2020

    As per my contact me page, until I clone myself I don’t have enough time to respond to everyone but feel free to pour your heart out (though, you’ll have more support from viewers on my YouTube channel).
    In the meantime, here are some resources: Here’s part of an interview with Connor Beaton of ManTalks: https://youtu.be/eAbLE2vZlpI
    Here’s a talk by Mark Groves and Dallas Hartwig I attended, they talk about their bond as friends (and no, they’re not gay): https://bit.ly/MarkGroveDallasHartwig
    Here’s a resource and convention for men who are safe to share with: https://wingmam.com/21-studios/
    Find and attend, or start, a group for men who want to talk. It’s a brave thing to do.
    Scared? Start online anonymously.
    You got this!
    Anna

    Reply
Robert Malloy says April 15, 2020

Hey A.J.!
I’ve been following your ‘Blog’ for quite some time now…Actually “Binge Blogging” like you suggested. I am having a most enjoyable time listening to you and learning with a laugh-to boot! You are a hoot at how you come across in your videos. you seem to really enjoy what you do. Helping people get their lives back together. SWEET! Keep up the good work in getting through to this “shy Guy”…LOVE ’em all!!! (Rob)ert.

Reply
    Anna Jorgensen says April 16, 2020

    Thank you so much Shy Guy! 😉 Keep watching, reading and practicing the suggestions and you’ll boost confidence you didn’t know you had! 🙂

    Reply
Dave says April 18, 2020

Anna,
I guess you got my last email – damn audacious of me, right?! Probably why you made the point about using this comment method! I did what I did and don’t apologize!
Anyhow, the stuff you’ve put out recently is like it was focused on me! I have known for 5 years that I adore – but she just wants to be friends. Of course, her still being married … but into the divorce process … probably has something to do with it! And she is a KEEPER!! But, she has said her pieced – so I need to move on …
Your articles and videos have been beneficial to me! It was one thing for you to overcome your own issues – but to be able to address those of “the other species” says a lot for your maturity and wisdom!! Thank you old gal!!
Dave

Reply
    Anna Jorgensen says April 20, 2020

    I think most people don’t realize that this blog post goes out to thousands, so I get more replies than I can read. My Should You Date When You’re Separated video applies the other way around, too. Be aware. 🙂

    Reply
Dave says April 22, 2020

For some reason my 4/18 comments got jumbled at bit. I was referring to a lady friend of mine I had known for 5 years that was going through a divorce now … and is separated from her husband. I got divorced last year – and now in a “healed” state of mind to seek out a special lady. I think of my lady friend as the one – she is a keeper! But, alas, her situation makes her not want to pursue anyone. I’m ok with that – what she offers me as a good friend is important to me as I move on in life.

Continued thanks for what you do, Anna!

Reply
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