Is She Worth Getting?
Hint: She’s Not Worth It IF…
In this blog we’ll talk about is she worth getting and keeping as well as list the “she’s not worth it if” red flags.
My last blog talked about the signs she’s a good woman, a good woman for you, and when she might be “the one.”
If you’re thinking she’s not worth it if she doesn’t have the qualities noted in the last post, you’re partly correct!
But read on to find some additional red flags to find out for sure when the juice is definitely not worth the squeeze!
First, let’s review the opposite of the good woman qualities.
Any Woman’s Not Worth It IF She…
- Lies even if it’s to save your feelings. #trustissues
- Pretends to be something she’s not just to win you over.
- Her self-care turns into selfishness — it’s all about her.
- Is insecure and displays it through egotistical arrogance.
- Has no back bone and goes along with anything even if it goes against her values.
- Relies entirely on you to entertain and fulfill her life. #codependent
- Is lazy about her health — if she’s young and slim but lazy, look out later!
- Is addicted to conflict, likes to argue, is never wrong and/or never apologizes.
- Will try to win over every man because she’d rather be with someone than alone (but will level up at the first opportunity).
- Tries to get you to ditch other important people in your life because she wants all your attention. #jealous
- Uses confrontation and fights to keep things interesting because she’s got nothing else to offer and holds a grudge forever.
- Is chaotic and unpredictable in an unpleasant way.
- Can’t control her temper and/or uses manipulation to get her way.
- Only asks questions as a way to get what she wants, doesn’t really care about you.
- Doesn’t have standards based on values but is constantly judging you.
- Only communicates when you chase her; never initiates.
- Doesn’t make an effort in the relationship; acts like an entitled Princess.
- Discourages you from your passions, purpose or anything that elevates your value because she’s afraid you’ll outgrow her and leave her.
- Tears you down — to your face or behind your back — and tries to limit your potential or hold you back in life.
- Has a bad or no relationship with her parents and/or siblings, if any.
Bonus negative point: She only wants or initiates sex if there’s something in it for her outside of sex.
Double bonus negative point: She’s a damsel in distress aka fixer upper aka emotionally damaged.
Pretty obvious, right?
What about the specific gal you’re thinking of — does she meet muster, or should you dust her?
Your Gal — She’s Not Worth It FOR YOU If…
- Your values and belief systems don’t align.
- You have different long term goals that aren’t compatible.
- The relationship isn’t important enough for her to prioritize.
- She compares you to her exes or dad when you make mistakes.
- She uses jealousy to keep you attracted to her either with other guys or her ex/es.
- You’re never given credit for things she appreciates about you.
- She’s good-looking or good in bed but that’s her only value.
- You fight more than you laugh which often turns into make-up sex.
- It feels awkward spending time together when you’re not having sex or doing something.
- She’s irritated by your flaws and nags you to change for her.
- When she talks about the future, you’re not in it.
Bonus negative point: You’re more afraid to be alone than you are in awe of her as a person.
5 Red Flags She’s Not “The One”
- Don’t want to introduce her to people you care about or feel the need to apologize about her in advance.
- Can’t imagine her in your future and wonder when you’ll break up.
- Really only want to spend time with her when you know there will be sex.
- Notice other women, want them, try to get other women’s numbers or are actively working the backup girls on the side.
- Feel like she brings out the worst in you may even be unmotivated to change because she doesn’t deserve the best of you.
- Are depleted after spending time with her.
- Know deep down you’re settling.
In essence, you often wonder if life would be better without her but are either too afraid you’ll be making a mistake or don’t trust yourself to find someone better.
How to score her?
In my opinion, if she has five or more on any of these lists — run Forrest.
Remember, we’re all flawed.
Unless you’re perfect — you’re not — there are going to be things you’ll need to work through together in a relationship.
So figure out which ones you can tolerate, which you are willing to work through and which traits are the no way Jose dealbreakers.
Have standards, stick to them.
Sometimes, the juice isn’t worth the squeeze!
You should have a top five dealbreaker/dealmakers list.
If you can’t narrow the list down, I recommend my WakeUP2Luv program; it’ll walk you through a process of figuring this out.
You’ll also learn what you can and should change about you and what you can and should say no way Jose, I like that about me.
WakeUP2Luv program details here.