What to Do When a Woman Tests You (When to Walk Away)

Know What to Do When a Woman Tests You

When you know what to do when a woman tests you, life just gets way fricken easier.

The good news: it’s not youuuuu — it’s herrrrr!

The less good news: women are always going to test men.

The sooner you get over it the better you’ll feel.

Let’s think about the options if you don’t know what to do when a woman tests you…

You can:

  1. Go your own way. #MGTOW
  2. Continue to be frustrated and maybe eventually get a woman who doesn’t test you, but there’s a good chance she’ll be below your ideal. #thatsucks
  3. Learn how to handle women’s tests effectively so you know when to stand your ground and when to walk away

Let’s have a look at the benefits and pitfalls of each option.


Men Going Their Own Way.

If you choose the option of going your own way by swearing off women altogether you won’t have the hassle of dealing with tests. Woohoo!

But you’ll be single forever after. Boohoo. (Or maybe not, but then if you’re reading this, you probably want a loving partner.)


If you end up settling to settle down, you’re not going to respect yourself and you’ll always wonder “what if.”

What if you’d actually got past your pride and tried to learn what to say when a woman tests you. A woman who you’d actually be happier with.


Learning a new skill isn’t easy whether it’s what to do when a woman tests you or it’s a new sport or a new language.

Only the dedicated persevere. But they’re also the ones who get the rewards of commitment.

What to Do When She Tests You Rule of Thumb

  1. If the test isn’t serious, treat it playfully and brush it off.
  2. If the test is serious, handle it seriously.

How to Know if She’s Serious

If It’s not obvious, start with the playful response, because if it truly isn’t a serious test, she’ll laugh it off and move on.

If it’s a serious test, she’ll let you know. In which case, then take it seriously

Taking a test seriously doesn’t automatically mean that you give in OR stand your ground. You’ll have to determine this based on your standards.

Which means..

You gotta have standards!

You’ve got to know what your standards are and where your boundaries lay or you’ll be folding for her like a paper napkin. Hint: not sexy.

If a man can’t stand up to a woman, he can’t stand up for a woman. ~ Dr. Robert Glover.

She needs to know you have strength. Your strength is what she counts on to feel safe with you and in life.

When to Walk Away from a Girl and When to Run

If she’s being unreasonable, and won’t “allow” you to be playful when playful warrants it, or stand your ground when standing strong warrants it… it could be time to leave.

Only you can know if the crap you’re putting up with is worth it.

If she’s emotionally damaged and making your life awful and you choose to stay, you’ve probably got some emotional baggage to work through as well.

Watch my video on Is She Too Insecure for more details.

The key is to always be cool, calm and collected — not emotionally reactive.

How to Stay Grounded

You’ve got to trust yourself that if worse comes to worse, out of self-respect, you’ll be able to walk away from the deal.

Women will generally mirror the respect you have for yourself.

To stay grounded, centred and trust yourself you’ve got to round out your life and you’ve got to get comfortable with women.

You have to know deep down that you are a prize and that if she doesn’t treat you that way, someone better will.

Two ways of finding unshakeable self-confidence:
  1. Fast but scary: PUA bootcamp.
  2. Less fast and less scary: WakeUP2Luv

I don’t like that eating ice cream every night would make me fat. Sometimes, life just ain’t fair, but it is what it is and we always have choices.

The hero’s journey isn’t an easy one. Will it be the choice you make?

xo AJ


Anna is not a professional therapist or psychologist. If you are in an abusive relationship please seek professional help. You are responsible for your actions.

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)

Leave a Comment:

Daniel says December 3, 2019

I’m attracted to bossy women but that almost never shows until much later. I wish they would give me that test early on so I can walk away before unpleasant things start hitting the fan… ?

    Anna Jorgensen says December 3, 2019

    You like bossy women but you’d like to know if they’re bossy sooner so you can walk away? I’m confused. lol

Christopher S McEneaney says December 4, 2019

You look fantastic…!

D says December 6, 2019

1. How do you know when she is testing you (is it a test or not) and weather its serious or not?
2. when setting boundaries and standards is it something you both discuss all at once right at the start? After the first week, month…?

Thank You

    Anna Jorgensen says December 7, 2019

    1. If she hasn’t indicated that it’s serious, treat it playfully. If being playful doesn’t work, then give her a day to forget about it and if that doesn’t happen (or if she then says it’s serious) then address it seriously.
    2. Both. It’s best to know what you will and won’t put up with before going into a relationship (often this is based on previous relationships) but if you don’t know or haven’t been in a relationship, then you’ll be discovering these things as they come up. Address them immediately if it’s the latter.
    3. My WakeUP2Luv program helps men figure out what their deal breakers and must-have’s are. If interested, there’s more info here: https://members.wingmam.com/get-women/
    Good luck and thanks for the great question! 🙂 AJ

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