How to Get a Girlfriend in 2021
Why you need to know how to get a girlfriend in 2021…Loneliness and depression are linked to shortened life span!
Though, the good news about a shortened life span is not having to endure said lonely life quite as long. Ugh.
Loneliness was at epidemic proportions even before the pandemic, which only served to amplify it.
We are more digitally connected but less emotionally connected than ever before. We lean on unfulfilling online moments of interaction as a poor substitute for real (life) connection.
But you don’t have to make eternal single hood your story.
You can change your story!
You are the writer and director of your own personal movie and you are the star.
If you don’t like the role you’re playing, it’s time to edit the script.
You can learn how to get a girlfriend in 2021 and have a happy ending (dual meaning). 😉
Just before we get into the framework for how to get a girlfriend in 2021, let’s do a super quick review of the science of attraction.
Science of Attraction
The science of attraction has three stages—
- Lust — Give it to me, baby! (aka intense physical/sexual attraction)
- Romance — I want to know everything about you! (aka intense romantic/emotional attraction)
- Attachment — Deep and meaningful long term bonding.
I’ve always said the difference between infatuation and true love is time.
Now, let’s look at how these play out in how to get a girlfriend.
Framework for How to Get a Girlfriend in 2021
The framework for getting your dream girl and ditching loneliness has five parts—
- Your Dealmakers
- Her Dealmakers
- Attract and engage
- Create rapport
- Build the relationship
In order to get an amazing girlfriend of your dreams, you need to know what that looks like.
Key point! A successful (happy) relationship is not based on physical attraction alone.
Sure, physical attraction is a component, but you need to figure out what personality qualities and characteristics are most important to you, as well.
Figuring out your dealmakers includes figuring out your deal breakers.
Knowing your top five must have’s in your ideal mate helps you stay on the path to true love and avoid women who make you stand at attention but whose character traits suck.
I suggest narrowing it down to five so you don’t get too picky and so you know what to look for.
My WakeUP2Luv program provides a process for how to figure out what your real top 5 dealmakers are.
They are often not what you think they are. (No wonder you’ve chosen poorly in the past!)
Once you figure out your dealmakers (and dealbreakers), then you’ve got to know what hers are.
You might be an amazing man, but if you don’t have the qualities your dream girl is looking for, she might not want what you’re selling (hint: you are the product!).
Again, my WakeUP2Luv program goes into more details of how to figure this out and helps you determine which so-called flaws are worth working on and which ones to embrace.
Attract and Engage
Before you can move into the attract and engage stage, you must have a base knowledge and understanding of what women respond to.
Women will tell you all kinds of things they think they want, but here’s the thing—most women don’t understand their own needs.
What they say they want: A nice guy. (But they reject all the nice guys!)
What they really want: A guy with a backbone who’s not a cat butt (a-hole)!
You need to know what women unconsciously and automatically respond to—her basic instincts! (Minus the ice pick.)
Learning the “street smarts” of modern dating helps you navigate the dating jungle—or forest, as I like to call it.
When you learn to understand women better than they understand themselves—and yes, it can be done—you’ll be able to naturally engage with them and that relaxed confidence is ultra alluring to women.
And again, my WakeUP2Luv program has a full module on understanding the fundamentals of women’s true needs.
When you understand women’s needs, such as physical and emotional safety, you’ll be able to create rapport instantly and naturally, because …
…when you go out of your way to make her feel safe, she’ll feel drawn to you in a way she doesn’t even understand.
She’ll feel comfortable and unguarded, not anxious to retreat to safety like she does with other guys.
This allows her to open up to you and you can literally talk about almost anything and have the same positive effect on her — increased attraction and curiosity about you!
Stand slightly sideways, not directly in front of her, head tilted a bit, not blocking her from the exit.
After establishing rapport, it’s way easier to move into the next stage because it’s simply the next natural step.
Building a Relationship
In the beginning stages, you’re getting to know each other and if you did the earlier steps of figuring out your dealbreakers and dealmakers, then you’ll be vetting her as much as she should be vetting you but!—
—you’ll be the one who’ll be setting the pace because her attraction to you will override her critical, cautious side.
When a woman is in a state of intense attraction, you have to watch for things that should be red flags to her but that her craving of you is causing her to ignore.
Remember, just because you can have a relationship with her doesn’t mean you should have a relationship with her, no matter how beautiful she is.
You don’t want kids for at least 10-15 years or maybe you don’t want kids at all and she wants to start a family STAT.
And even though you’ve made it clear that’s not an option and she says she can wait, she’s also got 10 Pinterest boards filled with baby stuff. And/or she’s 35+!
A woman doesn’t have to be toxic to not be right for you. Read that again.
Now, of course, one is perfect!
You’re not perfect and you shouldn’t be looking for a perfect woman (she doesn’t exist, anyway).
But knowing your Top 5 will help you avoid being too picky while also alerting you to the red flags you usually miss.
Key point! Like it or not, we learn the most about relationships while actually being in a relationships, not observing from the sidelines or even watching fun-ucational videos like mine. 😉
Now, what happens if you’ve never had a relationship? Stick with me, we’ll cover that in just a moment!
But first, what happens when things don’t work out?
Fall Down, Get Up
You’re going to stumble along the way.
This means once you’ve filtered and selected a potential right mate, it’s not automatically going to be easy.
Relationships require effort!
You can work really hard to get super fit but if you stop working out, your fitness level will decline. If you stop working on your relationship, the health of your relationship declines!
And when you’e in a relationship, it’s guaranteed your and her emotional baggage that you both—inevitably, Mr. Anderson— brought into the relationship, are going to get triggered.
If you want long term happiness in a relationship, you’ll have to learn how to “do” a relationship and work through some stuff together instead of ditching and running.
Yep, you guessed it! WakeUP2Luv helps you know what stuff!
Watch/read: How to Keep Her Happy.
For now, figure out:
- What you want.
- What the girl of your dreams wants.
- How to understand her innate needs.
- How to get comfortable around women.
And fix the areas of your life that need to be fixed the most that will benefit you the most regardless of anyone else.
If you’re not sure where to begin, I really encourage you to get my WakeUP2Luv program.
And if you’ve already done it, perhaps it’s time for a review! (After you’ve purchased it, it’s available to you as long as I’m Your Wingmam.)
So, how do you know what you really want in a girlfriend if you’ve never had one?
Never Had a Romantic Relationship
There’s no way you can see your own blindspots, never mind someone else’s, when you haven’t had the romantic relationship experience yet or if you’ve only had bad intimate relationships.
That’s why my WakeUP2Luv program has a process to help you figure out your blind spots even if you’ve never had a girlfriend or you’ve only had bad relationships.
You’ll discover what specific red flags you tend not to see, your blind spots.
And the best part of WakeUP2Luv is, if you do the homework:
- Your life will change in a positive way
- You’ll become naturally more confident with women (even the ones you used to feel intimidated by or were nervous around)
- You’ll have to do a lot less to attract a lot more beautiful, high value women.
Your increased value will ooze right out of you and draw them in like bees to honey. (IF you do the work!)
When you have more choices you can filter out the throw-backs and choose between the keepers.
Watch/read: She’s a Keeper IF…
So, if ditching alone and lonely is something you’re interested in, get my WakeUP2Luv program and you’ll learn how to get a girlfriend in 2021!
Let me be your forest fairy! I’ll guide you through the dating jungle to the love meadow where the woman of your dreams is waiting for you.
The (Happy) End. 😉
Your Cheesy Coach Wingmam,
p.s. Quick shout out to Ross for the inspiration for this vlog!