Just like men like a challenge, so do women! We also like to earn our “keeper.” But can bad boys be tamed or are we setting ourselves up for disappointment?
Oh, boy, deep breath…
Can a heritage building be retrofitted? Yes.
Can a stallion be tamed? Yes.
Can a bad boy settle down? Yes. But.
The heritage building requires extra ongoing maintenance; the stallion has unpredictable rebellious outbursts; and the bad boy, well, he offers both!
A bad boy needs extra emotional effort from his partner (compared to a “nice guy”) and displays, or has the desire to display, random acts of regression to prior “bad boy” behaviours.
How do I know?
Aside from obsessive theoretical study, I almost married one. He wrote the book on bad boys, The Manual. (It was a NYT best seller, in fact.)
He also wrote the book, Code of Honor, which everyone should read.
Here’s what I learned about Bad Boys
You can tame a bad boy! But it’s a helluva lot of work.
Much easier—mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically—to find a good guy instead of a bad boy.
In relation to dating, here are this week’s top five tips on…
If he says he’s interested but rarely or never calls, texts, replies, or sees you in person, he’s either too busy for a relationship, not that into you, or a bad boy.
Our ego may be tempted to tame him, but that’s silly.
Run! (Away from—not to—him.)
For example, he’s sweet on you one day—sends flowers, gives compliments, texts often—but then disappears for days or treats you with disrespect at the slightest “transgression”—ignores texts, gives the cold shoulder.
This hot and cold behaviour is a passive-aggressive sign of emotional immaturity and potential future heartache.
This is known as, “stringing you along.”
Hint: grab your Nikes, ladies!
But because we don’t know early on if he’s a naughty bad boy or a busy good man, it’s imperative to unequivocally let him know what those standards are.
Even good men are not mind readers. (Probably less so than a bad boy player who does know how you think so knows how to play you.)
Men avoid relationships partly because they don’t want to experience “death by nagging.”
There’s a graceful and goddessy way of setting standards that doesn’t result in him looking for his sneakers.
Remember, be strong in your standards and soft in your approach.
The quick and dirty formula that actually works to get whatever you want with a man (and often anyone) is to start with a positive: I love it when you reply to my texts right away.
Let me know what that provides for you — hint: men innately want to provide for you. It makes me feel special.
Then move on to the request: Would you be willing to do that for me even if you just say ‘kinda busy, talk soon’?
You’re also giving him an easy solution on the “how to” part.
Close with another positive: I appreciate it, thanks Sexy ;))
Obviously, all men want to live up to “sexy.”
Give him the chance to work on these new behaviours.
As long as he’s making an effort, and you are appreciating and praising those efforts, you will see improvement.
If not and if you’ve done your part (which may include changing your own behaviours) then refer back to #2: running shoes, ladies, run … ning … shoes.
Can Bad Boys be Tamed Takeaways
Ready to get out of your comfort zone and take the fast track to Mr. Right? (Good choice! Go to: WakeUP2Luv now!)
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Dating, Love and Relationship Coach Founder: Wingmam, Vancouver, Canada Warning: Not PC, not a feminist ❤️