“What’s your selection process?” Jane asks me the other day. “Your journey to help women find the the right guy on a dating site?”
Jane is a matchmaker.
She tells me, “The biggest complaint in the real world of dating is about the journey to finding that right person.”
I wrote the book on how to be successful in online dating. (Links at end of post.)
Here’s what I shared with Jane…
First, know your “Top Five”—the five deal-makers (/breakers), must-haves (/must-not-haves) in a mate.
Part of how to find the right guy on a dating is the mindset of: if any one of these qualities is missing you’d rather choose to be single foreverrr rather than settle.
Once upon a time not that long ago, while working through my Top Five process with a client, I suddenly figured out why my marriage to Good Man, who seemed to meet my Top Five, hadn’t worked out. (We amicably divorced 10 years ago.)
I realized that my Top Five had changed!
So, I called a friend right after the session: “My number four isn’t ‘he adores me’! I got over that need years ago.
I need intellectual stimulation! He adored me but didn’t stimulate me! Dealbreaker.”
And a big relief because I’d thought there was something wrong with me—aside from all my (self-) acceptable (adorable?) “flaws.”
So I took myself through my own Top Five process (in my soon-to-be-released WakeUP2Luv self-study at-home-in-your-pjs program) and figured out my true Top Five.
There is too much at stake: built-up expectations, hopes, dreams, blah blah blah yada yada.
Simply a bad idea. (Unless, it’s an “arranged marriage.” But that’s a whole other blog.)
AJ Prevention RX: Talk on the phone ASAP and, if that goes well, then meet pronto.
How to find the right guy on a dating site isn’t much different than in the real world with one big exception…
In the real world you know right away if there’s zero physical attraction.
Hint: He’s evaluating you, too, but if he’s still there after a few moments, he’s attracted.
The key is keeping the fun in it all!
Most people go to work and put in their 8 hours a day.
Sometimes they like the job; sometimes they don’t. But if they don’t work, they don’t eat.
If you don’t date, there’s a good chance you will stay single and eat alone. So date more but filter better.
P.S. My WakeUP2Luv program will help you narrow down your real top 5 (hint: they’re different than you think)!
P.P.S. If you want to be a Sexy(r) Goddess attracting your stud my ebooks are here. They’re short, funny and, best of all, free!
Dating, Love and Relationship Coach Founder: Wingmam, Vancouver, Canada Warning: Not PC, not a feminist ❤️