Should I Disclose I Have an STD?
Yes, you should.
Why? Because not disclosing you have an STD (sexually transmitted disease) is a dufus move. Dufus: slang for knucklehead, which is also slang. Basically, you’re a jerk.
Ok, so you absolutely should disclose if you have an STD, but the “when” is a bit trickier.
There are several STDs to choose from (amongst others):
- syphilis
- gonorrhea
- genital warts
- herpes
- HIV / AIDS
Of these, the scariest are the ones that don’t have a cure and that can fuck up your life—herpes and HIV / AIDS.
Note that undiagnosed syphilis can go undetected in women for years without any obvious adverse effects, except for potential reproductive issues, as in you might not be able to have kids, yo.
The statistics say that as many as one in four people have genital herpes; however, that statistic only includes those who’ve been medically reported.
There are people who have unreported herpes, and there are those who aren’t even aware that they carry the virus—sometimes it shows no visible symptoms.
Many folks with herpes go without ever having a breakout or have as few as one breakout in a year (or longer) when on medication.
Nonetheless, there are still no cures for HIV / AIDS. And yep, last I checked, there’s still a stigma attached even though with knowledge, care and meds, HIV-affected persons can have kids. But best be careful if you don’t have it and you don’t want it.
I know it’s really hard in the moment, but if you don’t have an STD and you don’t want an STD, you gotta do some homework before you get down and dirty, birdies.
And if you do have something-something—disclose, bros and hos. (That was just for rhyming sake, ladies, don’t get all bent out of shape.)
When to Disclose You Have an STD:
Before you have sex with a new partner.
Any questions?
Ok, look, if you want to be a decent person, you gotta wait until the time is right to disclose. That means if you want a long-term relationship—and if you is here then that’s what you is wanting—then hold the hot sex reigns. There’s no rush. And if you do this part right and you’re with the right partner, then they’re going to love you, and you can have lots of great sex for the long haul.
If you don’t tell your partner you have an STD and they find out after you’ve gone “downtown, Charlie Brown,” then you’ve just lost a helluva lotta trust that might not be retrievable. Do not pass go, do pass on STDs. (Potentially.)
I’m not saying that disclosing you have an STD is an easy conversation, but if the person is right for you, they’ll understand. You’ll figure it out together because you just got a home run with honourability and trust points.
And if they reject you—hello—not the right person for you. Thank you and next. Join an STD discussion or support group, you’ll feel better. I promise.
How long you wait to disclose (and thereafter have sexual relations) will depend on your values and long-term goals. Hint: It’s OK to wait.
When Should I Disclose I Have an STD Takeaway:
Although most STDs are no longer as stigmatized as they used to be, most people aren’t out there gunning to get some, so be the better person and fess up before fornicating, folks.
xo AJ
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