Start Going for Assertive Guys. Stop Getting Assholes. Wait, What?
Ohhhh, I know all about this topic! My last boyfriend was a bad boy. He even named his company with the common phrase “Bad boys finish first!” If you want to know why women like bad boys, let me share my wisdom—earned from a woeful tale—with you …
I’d read this Bad Boy’s best-selling book, The Manual, and fell in love with his easy-going and humorous “writer’s voice.” OK, I admit that I swooned over his devilish good looks, too, and put his handsome face
on my screensaver—be careful what you wish to manifest, ladies!
Three years later, I moved to L.A. and straight into a live-in relationship with him.
You’re curious about the deets of how I made that happen—well, you can find out all in the how-to-get-(almost)-any-guy-you-want in my WakeUP2Luv Course—but that part doesn’t matter for the purpose of this blog. This blog is about …
The Biology of Why Women Like Bad Boys
The quick and dirty of why we love bad boys is simply because bad boys tend to offer all the qualities our un-evolved primate brain—the amygdala—recognizes as “safe,” even though our logical brain—the neocortex—totally shakes its finger at us!
Bad Boys are—
— uber, super duper self-assured
— mysterious, independent wolves
— constantly assessing and assertive
— masters of seduction
Let’s take a quick and dirty look at these bad boy traits…
- When a guy is self-assured, our primate brain tells us that he can handle the shit-storm of life. We trust him to take down the mammoth and bring home the dinner.
- When he’s independent, we intuitively interpret that as his not needing anyone to figure shit out. He’s the leader. If it came down to just you and him, he’d know what to do if, for example, life took a MadMax turn.
- A man who automatically assesses (everything) is less at risk to make decisions that will lead to homelessness. And his assertiveness means he won’t put up with getting overcharged on the phone bill.
- And my personal favourite, men who know the art of seduction. Well, ladies that not only gets us wet and ready for sex, but that gets us wet and ready for sex—as in, our primate brain is still set to “must reproduce” even if our neocortex tells us we’re allergic to children.
Why Women Like Bad Boys Takeaway
We crave bad-boy traits because we’re biologically wired to be attracted to the positive qualities that bad boys display. But if we want a happy-happy joy-filled relationship, we’ve got to choose a mate with a balance of bad-boy but good-man traits.
Why Women Like Bad Boys Actionable
Read The Manual by Steve Santagati. There’s some stuff in there that’ll make you cringe, but it’s also half of what I used to get that bad boy … The other half was my own concoction, which you’ll find in WakeUP2Luv! (Just sayin’!)
And by the way, Steve maintains that a bad boy is a good man, but a player is simply a misogynistic asshole. I couldn’t agree more!
xo AJ
p.s. We’re still friends, and he’s still annoyingly gorgeous!
— uber, super duper self-assured…
Aka arrogant and cocky?
— mysterious, independent wolves…
Aka deceptive and secretive?
— constantly assessing and assertive…
Aka Always on the prowl looking for something better?
— masters of seduction
Due to years of sleeping with women and dumping them.
Hmm. You really prefer that?
Self-assurance does not equal arrogant or cocky. Arrogant and cocky are signs of insecurity. Unattractive.
Mysterious and independent do not equal deceptive and secretive. Mysterious means they don’t lay all the cards out on the table immediately. They have a self respect to allow who they are to be discovered by a person who is special. Independent means they’re not needy and desperate. Deceptive means they’re liars. Unattractive.
Assessing and assertive means they evaluate risks and go for what they want. Does not equal always looking for something better. Unless it’s a better job that can supply him and his mate with a better standard of living.
Masters of seduction from sleeping with a lot of women? Definitely! I sure hope he has. Because then he won’t feel the need to go running around later on in life. Bad boys don’t use women and then dump them, players do that. Unattractive.