Men and women think differently, and that’s a good thing. And accepting this fact helps us understand why men pull away, go silent, ghost and disappear!
Here’s what I’ve learned from men about why men pull away or go silent on you in the early stages of dating…
Healthy guys don’t want a woman who nags.
Healthy guys do want a woman who nurtures.
Both the above statements have elements of mommy syndrome, but one translates into pain and the other into pleasure.
Here’s what men don’t tell me, but I’m a studier of men and figured this out all by myself…
Men pull away or go silent because they hate disappointing women. And they don’t know how to let a girl down without doing just that.
They act like little boys using avoidance behaviour and hope you’ll get the not-so-soft and subtle hint. They don’t know that it’s way worse for a chick to be ignored than to “man up” and be honest, even if that means disappointing her. But…
Men have also learned that manning up often results in drama—a chick gets angry, tries harder to get him, asks a bazillion questions about “what happened” etc.
Men run like children in a playground away from the source of drama. I don’t blame them!
Despite what you’ve been told, healthy men don’t go for bitches. They go for awesome-sauce-hell-yeah-hold-on-tight-to-this-one quality women.
1. Give them space, graciously.
A man is like an elastic band. If you don’t let him get far enough away, he can’t spring back to you. Men need to spring back.
2. Take a chill pill and go do shit!
Having a full life is sexy. If a guy likes you, he’ll know you’ll be out in the world where some other Prince Charming could tempt you. Men act on real or perceived competition. (Warning: Don’t try to create jealousy. That’s just bitch-ass bad behaviour.)
3. Welcome him back, graciously.
If you punish a man with the silent treatment for his good behaviour (returning), eventually you won’t get any behaviour—hello ghosting, goodbye love—as in he’ll ditch your bitchy attitude, and you.
Of course, sometimes the reality of why men pull away or go silent is simply that he’s:
Or there’s the possibility that he’s been abducted by aliens and he likes being probed. There’s a conversation starter. 😉
When women stop investing so much of their emotions too early while dating, which is to say, before the man does, they won’t take it personally when Mr. Right-Now jets because a high-quality woman realizes she’s now available to meeting Mr. Right-For-Her. Hell, yeah!
Vancouver Matchmaker and Dating, Love and Relationship Expert Founder: Wingmam