One Man Goes From Repeated Rejection to Celebrated Love Coach
Interview with Frank Kermit, Dating and Relationship Coach and author of the book: From Loser To Seducer. Enjoy!
Tell us a bit about yourself and how you became a dating coach?
I got stood up at my prom.
I lost my ex-fiance to one of my best friends.
Then, I spent two years being “just friends” with a woman that said we could never be together because we were too different, only to have her confess to me one day that she was getting married to a man that was just like me (she never even told me she and he were dating the entire time we spent together).
I’d had enough. I decided that I was going to fix my love life once and for-all or kill myself.
Yikes. What happened from there?
So, I began a long three year journey which lead me to re-inventing myself. I ended up experiencing things like ethically dating: having five lovers and girlfriends at the same time in an open relationship; a poly-date with two women at the same Valentine’s Day dinner; and then getting my ex-fiance back and dating her for 3 months in order to get final closure on that relationships (after seven years apart from our original break up).
I never chose to be a coach, but after I changed my life around my friends started to ask for my help and then their friends started to ask for my help. Eventually I decided to write my story in my autobiography From Loser To Seducer sending people to my book instead of having people come to me.
The opposite happened! The more books I put out, the more people came to me. In the end I decided to try being a coach and the rest is history.
In this youtube video I was interviewed by Kelly Alexander about how I got into the coaching business.
What services do you offer?
I offer coaching services in private practice over the phone (514-680-3278) and over Skype ( frank.b.kermit ) coaching clients all over the world (Canada, USA, Europe, Isreal, Saudi Arabia, Bosnia, China and Australia to name a few) and also coach for the matchmaking industry.
I have now been doing this for over 15 years and coach men, women, (all orientations) singles, and couples for both monogamous and consensual non-monogamous lifestyles.
Also, I specialize in helping adult aged virgins enter the dating world and relationships for the first time, as well as developing and teaching my own original work based on Emotional Needs Analysis Theories.
http://www.franktalks.com/store/p21/THE_EMOTIONAL_NEEDS_ANALYSIS_OF_MEN_WORKBOOK_EBOOK.html
The most common areas for Coaching are:
- Adult Virgins and/or Dating Beginners. For persons who are virgins and do not wish to be and/or for those who have little to no dating experience.
- Single and Searching. For persons looking to find a serious relationship partner, looking to connect with a specific person, or for someone looking to date multiple partners in a casual way.
- Transitional Dating. For persons looking to redefine their relationship rules and wish to transition to a different relationship structure. (i.e. from monogamous to open, open to monogamous)
- Stuck. For persons who are having trouble moving on from a break up, or are fixated on an ex-partner.
- Pre-Marriage Coaching. For couples who are thinking of becoming engaged or who are presently engaged.
- Couples Enhancement. For couples who wish to work on trying to save their relationship.
- Grief and Bereavement. For persons dealing with loss. It includes death, divorce and separation.
- Starting Over. For persons who are re-entering the dating scene after a long absence.
I’ve authored over 20 books and 25+ audio programs and appear regularly as a media correspondent for radio, print media and occasionally television.
My Website is FrankTalks.Com
Bedroom Coaching:
AMV interview video:
Public Speaking:
Coaching video:
In your opinion, what are the top traits women look for in men?
Women respond to men that address her emotional needs. She may intellectually like a certain type of man, but if she does not feel the chemistry with him, she will reject him and aim to be just friends with him, even if he could potentially be a great partner for her.
A man that addresses the emotional needs of a woman is the one that she will respond to and that is the man she will be attracted too, regardless of the type of man she is looking for.
To read more about the emotional needs of women go here: http://www.franktalks.com/blog/emotional-needs-of-women-mother-lover-theory
In this youtube video, I’m being interviewed on what the emotional needs of women are, and ways that men can address them:
Dating can be somewhat stressful, how do you recommend coping with the stress?
Know what you want long term. When you know what you want long term for your love life, career life, lifestyle, etc… you can quickly assess the potential of each person you meet.
People that know what they seek long term can find out in an hour or less if they are on a date with someone that has legit potential to be a serious long term relationship partner candidate, or if they are dating someone that at most would be a good friend, or casual short-term lover.
If it takes you longer than one hour to assess someone’s potential, it’s a sign that you do not know what you want.
So, as a free gift, I am going to offer your readers a special treat. If you go to my website www.FrankTalks.com and use the coupon codes I am offering you here, you will be able to download my coaching workbooks for free (a 30$ value).
Coaching Workbook for Men (click →): I’m a Man, It’s My Job
Coupon Code is MEN30
Online dating – Yes or No? Why?
Yes! Any way to meet someone is a good way. Given that most people today cannot date someone from school or work, and they are too busy to constantly go out, and are more comfortable with technology than they are with people initially, online dating has become a very popular means of dating. The key is to know how to manage your online dating life.
What do you think is the best app/dating site for meeting someone?
It depends what you are looking for. Profile heavy dating sites are more likely produce short and long-term relationships. Dating Apps that are more photo based tend to attract people looking for quick hook-ups.
How important is your online dating profile? What should it include? What shouldn’t it include?
Kitten Fishing
The new buzzword in online dating is “Kitten Fish”. The term means to make yourself out online to be very different from how you actually are in real life.
The biggest culprit of “Kitten Fishing” is using good photos of yourself from the past that do not at all match how you look at the moment.
It is important to present your best self in an online profile, but it is wrong to misrepresent yourself.
Be honest in your profile. If you are only interested in casual dating, do not say you are looking for something serious because you think it makes you look like a better person.
Kitten Fishing might get you more attention, even a few first dates that end quickly, but only someone Kitten Fishing as much as you MIGHT want to give a second chance, but honestly, would you want to date a kitten fish?
What makes online dating profiles so efficient is that you can communicate all of your “Must Haves” (your boundaries) that you are looking for in someone.
If you take this approach, you will likely get less attention, but the attention do you get will be quality. Preferences are things that you would like your date to have, but they are not necessary. If they are not necessary DO NOT LIST THEM.
People reading your online profiles might mistake your preferences, as must-haves and might reject you before you ever get the chance to meet them in person.
Photos
A good photo can change how much attention your online profile will get. Men should display their pride (stand tall, chest out, appear confident), regardless of how happy they look.
Include photos having fun and have a profile shot focusing on the left side. That is what the data shows. However, the main thing is to use a CURRENT photo (see the tip on Kitten Fish above).
Also, if you use a photo that is slightly less flattering than your actual looking self, then when someone wants to meet you, it makes the first meeting much more of a pleasant surprise. Nice way to start a date.
For more in depth advice for Online Dating, please visit: http://www.franktalks.com/blog/10-online-dating-tips-by-frank-kermit
Do you think guys should play “The Game” if they’re looking for a serious relationship?
Nope. Absolutely not. I am all about ETHICAL practices in dating. “Game” may offer some short term gains, but not long term gains, and I am all about focusing on behaviors that will help a person achieve what they want in the short term, while at the same time will not ruin their chances to succeed in the long term.
In this youtube video, I give a preview of my audio program How To Be The Ethical Seducer where I share my philosophy of how to be ethical in dating.
What do you recommend doing in order to keep the fire burning for couples in long term relationships?
First, couples need to make addressing each other’s emotional needs a priority. Next, for long term couples, it is important to MAKE the time to date. Even if you only get out once a season, it is still important to remember to “date” your long term partner otherwise it becomes much easier to end up taking your partner for granted.
For people who struggle how to be romantic on a date, I invite you to look at this youtube video where I discuss how to be Romantic and the article beneath it on the Frank Romance Formula for people that struggle to know how to be romantic.
Romance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnMyzu_WNrQ
To read more about the Frank Romance Formula go here:
http://www.franktalks.com/blog/how-to-be-romantic-the-romance-formula
What do you love most about helping people?
It makes me immortal. It is the same reason I wrote over 20 books and recorded over 25 audio lectures on a variety of topics related to love, sex, dating and relationships.
I make a difference in the lives of the people I help, and because of me there are relationships that happen, and children born of those relationships, that would not have happened without my help. In that way, my effects are leaving this world better than when I first arrived, and my effects will last long after I am gone.
In this youtube video, I provide an excerpt of my autobiography From Loser To Seducer that explains this concept a little more.
If you could only give one piece of advice to men looking for love, what would it be?
Dating is not complicated as long as you and willing to put in the work, and you know what to do with your abundance of choices you are given when dating. The power of choice, without knowing what to do with that choice is what is making so many people miserable. Dating is NOT for the lazy. You want a great relationship? Great Sex? A Great love life? Start putting in the work NOW.
Learn more about Frank Kermit at www.FrankTalks.com
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AJ here… If Frank’s style resonates with you I invite you to check out his website links and YouTube videos!
Love is the answer. Whoever helps you get there, I’m all for it. xo