How to Get a Boyfriend Without Playing Hard to Get
There’s a common theory about romantic courting: Men chase and women choose. But while the theory is partially true, the “hard to get” game is not the main reason why men love bitches.
In fact, healthy men don’t love bitches, but they are innately attracted to some of the qualities that bitchy chicks display.
AJ TMI True Story:
This is going to sound conceited, but it isn’t. Try to stomach it so you can see what I mean.
Okay, so if you don’t know my quick short story, I’ll recap real quick:
Painfully shy childhood from lack of proper socialization
Step-on-it low self-esteem from a lot of #triggerwarning trauma
Rejection, rejection, and then I got dumped
Studied the psychology of men (and sales—remarkably similar!)
Became the bitch men love
Got every man I went for—when using the system—and never got rejected or dumped again
But here’s the dealio … When I didn’t use my system and listen to my intuition, I didn’t get the guy. The ones I really wanted I really went for—and “got”—but those choices in men were lousy and I ended up leaving them. Nonetheless, I got them.
Best advice I can give: Use my system of how to win them over but make better choices than I did!
The Quick and Dirty of Why Men Love Bitches
- Bitches have backbone, baby! They know what they want and they ask for—ne, demand—it because they know they deserve it. A good man who’ll settle down loves a woman with high standards.
- Bitches are independent goddesses who don’t need a man! A good man who’ll settle down wants a woman who wants him not needs him desperately. (Later, he’ll want to feel needed.)
- Bad-ass bitches are sassy and classy and keep a man on his toes! A good man who’ll settle down wants a woman who’s interesting and who challenges him to step up his game.
Why Men Love Bitches Takeaway
Men don’t really love bitches; they love strong, healthy, inter-dependent, kick-ass goddess women. Can you blame them?
Why Men Love Bitches Actionable
- Set some standards! Make them high—you deserve it!
- Figure out your dealmakers and deal breakers. Write ‘em down! I’m not kidding.
- Take that list out and give yourself a scolding if you find yourself chasing some Charlie that should be chasing you, girl friend!
AJ TMI Tidbit Bonus
I have a spreadsheet of 100 qualities I want in a guy. I wrote it over 10 years ago. Yep, it’s all alphabetized, categorized and colour-coded. I used to whip it out and grade the guys I was dating. Seriously. (But playfully and not right away.)
You’d think they’d run away and quick, but no way.
I had one guy grab the tattered list from me and start taking notes on where he needed to improve.
Whaaat? No way. I so get a point for “honourable!”
He got half a point.
This interaction was in jest, but he was also mentally taking notes.
(BTW, the guy was a self-made, handsome, smart dude, not to brag, but just to show it doesn’t only work on Jimmys hanging out down on Wherever Street.)
Men want to be inspired to become their best selves. And! Men love competition with themselves. And! Men need to work for their keep(er)—you!
So, go forth, goddess and be your bitch-ass boldest self!
xo AJ
Oh! And P.S. I got every guy I went for not because I can get any guy—I don’t think I can or would want to—but because (perhaps coincidental) I’ve so far only been attracted to guys who I knew had (or would likely have) an interest in me. (Details in my memoir!)
Or you could just click here and Get a Boyfriend, already.
