Handle Rejection Well, Feel Better.
When it comes to matters of the heart rejection sucks, and is inevitable, so let’s learn how to handle rejection like a stormtrooper!
If you can handle rejection like the trooper you are you’ll be able to look at rejection as a welcome challenge.
Read on…
AJ Rejection Story
When I was but a wee insecure teenage fledgling, I got rejected a few times by guys I thought were “like, for sure, my true love and, like, soulmate!” *dramatic sigh*
I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know one of their last names. It must’ve been, like, just awful.
I write “must’ve” because since I learned how to handle rejection I can’t remember how the awful part of it felt.
But before I got to that empowered stance, I chose an unhealthy path…
After failing to hogtie any of the early rejectors, I learned how to “get” guys—the wrong guys (for me), but still, it seemed like progress at the time.
How I Avoided Rejection
Instead of learning how to handle rejection, I avoided rejection totally.
I only sought out men I knew wouldn’t reject or ditch me.
But look where that got me!
In case you didn’t read my memoir and don’t know where that got me: it got me cuckoo with a side of heartache. (And single for a long time.)
The interesting bit is when I went into real estate sales, at the tender age of 20, I loooved rejection.
Seriously.
Ok, maybe not my first day.
Fiiiine, definitely not my first day, my first day was terrible, but after a day of rejections I learned how to handle rejection.
Whether it was a residual cuckoo effect or it was because I made a game of getting rejected, I used all those real estate “nos” to hone my sales skills and try new communication techniques and turned my “no” woes into WOWs.
My “Handle Rejection” Mantra: Every “no” is closer to a “yes!”
This is the awesome possum attitude that helped propel me to becoming Anna J, Super Star Realty Lady. (See memoir.)
Real estate managers and brokers tell salespeople every day, “Don’t take it personally.”
I say, “Bullshit. Do take it personally!”
It is personal.
If you’re not effectively communicating how you can help someone—the client—achieve their goals—to buy a home or to sell a home—it is you.
That’s sales.
But in the dating world, you’re not looking for quantity, you’re looking for quality.
And if you’re on this website, you also believe that what you’re looking for adds up to one.
The One.
When you retrain your brains to think of rejection as “one step closer to your right yes,” you build up the stamina to sustain your self-esteem throughout the rejections that lead to your goal: The Right One.
AJ Heartache Prevention RX: Be yourself.
But… Caveat!
If you want your potential partner to be their best self, you’d better be your best (real) self.
Plus, who wants to “forever after” fake a role? (Been there, dumb that.)
The Handle Rejection Takeaways:
- Rejection means you’re in the game!
- Letting go of the “no” woes is a winning attitude.
- Winning attitudes are sexy, y’all.
- Hello! Winners win!
- Get real! Be (/become) the best you, which feels better and gets you there faster. High five!
Oh, and are you wondering about the whole Stormtrooper reference?
They’re resilient mofos that never give up.
(They also serve the dark side, but don’t do that.)
xo
Anna
Handle Rejection & Get the Girl with WakeUP2Luv
To figure out what your best real self really is invest in my WakeUP2Luv program.
Hint: If you do the homework, your life will be all around better and you’ll be ready for the woman you really want.
Anna, did you just say homework??
Yep, sorry, suck it up.
Progress requires effort. (That’s how I got to be Super Star Realty Lady!)
If you always do what you’ve always done you’ll always get what you’ve always got!
WakeUP2Luv provides the step-by-step how-to’s so you don’t even have to figure out what to do next.
Do it, Stormtrooperrr.
Being in the game, being willing to be rejected, IS the 1st step to success. If it’s not working fast enough for you, repetition is your friend. Let’s face it, every woman you want to date IS NOT going to say yes. But some will, so ask more of them. Purposeful effort. In the process you’ll polish your approaches and gain confidence. So, with determination, you can quickly get beyond approach rejection anxiety and become proficient in meeting women. Start striking up conversations with strangers in public, like anytime you’re waiting in a line. It’s good practice, learn to be pleasant and congenial. Learning to be friendly is a good thing, not just in the love category. Smile and make eye contact. It’s contagious (in a good way).
Getting over a long term love that rejected you is a whole other ballgame. I don’t think there is a magic bullet for that. It happens to everyone, but no amount of rationalizing can make that kind of pain hurry up and go away. I takes time and purposeful effort to rebuild that self worth you need to get your confidence back. But you will if you want to.
Purposeful effort is a recurring theme here. Nothing good in the love category will happen for you unless you are a full and dedicated participant. Prior rejections or not.
my worst rejection happened in high school J.O. about 1954 I walked straight across the schoolyard and asked “would you liked to go out with me? She yelled “WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I’D GO OUT WITH YOU !!!!!!!? I’m sure it still affects me to-day. Your talk on rejection warmed me. Thangque.
Amazing how those early hurts stick with us and impact every relationship we have. I’m sure you’ve thought of a thousand come-backs since then, but the reality is kids can be mean even when they don’t mean to be. I hope you learn to move past the fear of rejection and I hope my videos help you do that. Big hug, God bless. 🙂 AJ