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How To Read The 5 Love Languages Signals When Dating

Figure Out Her Love Language Without Asking

The reason you want to know how to read the 5 love languages signals when dating a girl is because by you noticing and displaying her primary love language—without having to ask her—you’re miles ahead of other dudes who don’t even have a clue what the hell “love languages” are!

Oh, you’re one of those dudes missing the clue? Read my 5 Love Languages summary post and watch the short video here, then come back and get your tablet ready to take notes!

Super Quick 5 Love Languages Review

We all give and therefore expect to receive love in one or two of five primary ways…

  1. Physical touch—handle holding, PDAs, hugging, cuddling, grazing *wink*
  2. Quality time—focused attention not length of time
  3. Words of affirmation—“Hey, babe, you the bomb!”
  4. Acts of service—doing errands and shit for her that she could do for herself
  5. Gifts—whether diamonds or hand-picked daisies, things are it

How to Read the 5 Love Languages Signals When Dating

Physical Touch

  • She may greet you with a hug; touch your arm/hand/elbow during conversation. Check.touch
  • Watch her with friends, does she emphasize points by touching them? Check.
  • Does she pull back or pulling away when you make innocent touch gestures? Uncheck.

Quality time

  • Does she turn her phone off or put it away when you’re together? Check. Or is she distracted constantly by it? Uncheck.
  • Do your text conversations have a dedicated, uninterrupted and engaging allotment of time—check—or do they come in fits and starts never knowing when she’ll reply back?—Uncheck.

Words of Affirmation

  • Does she blush and brush off compliments? Uncheck. Or smile brightly and beam happily? Check.
  • Does she offer words of affirmation, compliments or praise to you (or others)? Check.
  • Does she seem suspicious of your (or others) intentions when they praise her or anyone? Uncheck.

Acts of Service

  • Is she thankful when you pull up close to entry when it’s raining or hold the umbrella for her? Check.

    Acts of Service
  • Does she mention things she’d love someone’s help with—fixing her closet door, installing a curtain rod etc? Check. Do her eyes light up if you offer to help? Check. Does she say, “God, yes, please!” CHECK.
  • Or does she indicate she’s an independent kind of gal who’s proud of doing things for herself. Hmm, uncheck.


  • When you bring her some small gift is she sincerely grateful—check—or awkward and seemingly disinterested? Uncheck.

  • Does she talk about things people have given her as gifts? (Remember: price or monetary value isn’t the importance; it’s the thought that really counts with her.)
  • Does she give you little gifts? Check.


All of these situations assume you’ve met and have had at least one date. But the best way to find out what her primary love languages are is to ask her!

But not before the first date… (Unless you’re super bold!)

Most of the time, if you’re a totally shy guy and walk up to a chick in a coffee shop and say, “Soooo, what’s your love language?” you’re going to see the back of her coat tails flying.

However, when you get super hero confident and say this and she’s a chill chick, she may laugh at your cheesy audacity and give you the answer. I would.

But, on a first date, it’s totally okay to ask her, “Hey, have you heard of that 5 love languages thing?…”

How To Read The 5 Love Languages Signals Takeaway

The 5 love languages is a great topic for any point in conversation, but especially if there’s an awkward pause. If she knows about the five love languages, you can discuss which of them you think are your primary love languages and why. If she hasn’t heard of the concept, then you can explain it and then explore your answers together.

How To Read The 5 Love Languages Signals Action Step

  1. Ask as many female friends as you have if they’ve heard of the 5 love languages and discuss.
  2. Do it. Do it, now. Or today. Or tomorrow. Just do it!

xo AJ

Anna Jorgensen

About the author

Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️
(Not PC and not a feminist.)

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