Dating Someone With Political Differences

Can Couples who Support Opposing Political Parties Win the Love Game?

With the continued rantings about the recent U.S. presidential election, this is an issue I simply gotta tackle, even though I’m kinda sick of the suffering and fall-out from it. Just before we get to tips on dating someone with political differences than you, let’s review why you’re here.

You kinda trust my opinion on love, dating and relationships, and my personal political view is that love is the answer … (This is also my spiritual belief.)

• Love the god of your choice.
• Love yourself.
• Love your family.
• Love your damn neighbour, even if you think your neighbour should be damned.

That outta the way, set aside your personal prejudices, and let’s get to the love tips and tidbits …

Dating someone with political differences can work if:

1. The fundamental values you have match.
   Example: You believe everyone is equal and has a right to a financially comfortable life. One candidate is female, which automatically supports gender equality; the other candidate is pro-unified country, and says he supports increased homeland employment. Whether or not the candidates are truthful doesn’t matter, it’s what you believe and stand for that does matter.
2. You can respect each other’s differences on nonfundamental issues.
   Example: You disagree on a political issue that when respectfully debated leaves you feeling heard and understood even if your (potential) partner prefers a different perspective.
3. Your long-term goals and visions are not adversely affected by your political differences.
   Example: You believe in and support sexual diversity. Your partner is anti-gay marriage. You may be straight, but what if you have kids who aren’t? Shitballs is an understatement.

Nonetheless, it’s tough to stay in a loving mindset when we’re triggered by something (someone). Political opinion differences can oft dredge up the unpleasant form of fireworks–bad feelings.

But impassioned debate also comes up in discussions of money, sex, religion and parenting style. You gotta learn to fight fair and lead with love. That might mean looking into “mindfulness training.”

Try yoga, meditation, contemplative gardening, a calming walk etc. Punching out a pillow may relieve tension in the moment, but ultimately you gotta be able to come back to the convo and at least “agree to disagree” while still liking, respecting and wanting to get naked with your partner.

Once again it boils down to having compatible values, goals and, of course, chemistry.

You’ve got to be able to feel proud to be with your partner. If don’t feel like you want to shout it from the rooftops—even if you’re not a shout it from the rooftop kind of person—then you may need to reconsider.

But! Just because someone has a difference of opinion because of a difference in perspective, doesn’t make that person wrong for you. Acceptance, understanding and respect go a long way, baby.

Dating Someone with Political Differences Takeaway:

Don’t write off a potential partner solely on their right-wing or left-leaning persuasion. Set aside your automatic prejudices and explore what’s really important to that person. You might find that you have more in common than you think. (As my editor correctly points out: this includes our neighbours and everyone!)

xo AJ
p.s. This is not the place to post political commentary, but it is the place to share a love story if you know a couple with political differences who love each other anyway!
p.p.s. Hate only drives us farther apart. To be an effective influencer, we must lead with love, or at least loving respect, and by example. Progress and peacekeeping can coincide.