No Dating Site Profile Photo? Next!

When You Have No Dating Site Profile Photo Here’s What Happens…

I used to say that there were three reasons a man would have no dating site profile photo:

1. He’s hiding from the law or criminals. (Um, Shreddies Killer.)
2. He’s hiding from his wife / girlfriend.
3. He’s damn ugly.

Normally, in the past at least, when I’ve received an email from a man on a dating site without a profile photo, I’ve automatically deleted it without even looking at his profile. Recently, however, I received an email from a prospect with no dating site profile photo but, out of curiosity, decided to read the email.

When I opened it, there was a photograph attached to the letter. The man was as handsome as … well, holy moly, Batman.

I asked him, “Why no profile photo?”

He told me he’d previously posted his real photograph only to have one of his students do a thesis on online dating with said student presenting The Prof’s particulars to the class, whereupon The Prof “died a little death.”

The Prof gave me a website where I could find him, and when I viewed it, I saw a (handsome) photo of him. This confirmed his profession, and I learned a new thing.

My advice to men (/women) with no dating site profile photo:

1. Instead of not putting a photograph at all, find a photograph that looks similar to, but not better looking than, you. Post that.
2. Without divulging your true identity, explain why you subbed out a photo of the real you at the beginning of the written portion of your profile.

Tips for chicks:

1. If you like a man’s written profile, but he has no photograph, ask him why he didn’t post one.
2. If it’s possible to receive a photograph within the body of a message, ask for it.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for sources to confirm his true identity outside of the dating site profile. If the man has nothing to hide, he will be more than willing to share this with you.

Note to anyone trying to hide their true identity on a dating site profile:

1. Um, why are you trying to hide?
2. If you’re running from the law, get off the dating sites and into custody—trust me, you’ll feel better in the long run.
3. If you’re running from your wife, get off the dating sites and fix your relationship or get out of it—trust me you’ll both feel better in the short and long run.
4. If you’re in an open relationship, go on an open relationship dating site. Try adultfriendfinder.com
5. If you’re in prison, sorry Hun, get off the dating sites―or if you’re bored or lonely, say so!
6. If you think you’re ugly, get some self-esteem … ugly people get married, too. Btw, you’re not ugly.
7. If you want to hide your true identity because you’re a teacher and you’re worried that your students are going to find you online and ridicule you in class, then take the above advice and disclose your situation in your profile.

No matter who you are, if you’re going to post a photo, make sure it is a true resemblance of what you look like today and not 10 years ago when you were 20 pounds younger or had a full head of hair.

Takeaways:

1. Authenticity is attractive.
2. Trust is near impossible to regain on a dating site.
3. No matter what you look like, there’s someone out there who’s going to love you if you love and respect yourself. (I teach the “how to” bit in my #WakeUp2Luv course.)

xo AJ

p.s. There’s a bazillion quips and tidbits for online dating for men here and for women here. Download now. They’re FREE! You’re welcome.