Before you embark into the dating world with a single mom you best understand the benefits and risks of dating a single mother.
There are a greater number of single moms in the western world today.
If you don’t want to miss out on a large sector of potential single women then tread with eyes wide open.
Many “red pilled” men will tell you to never under any circumstances consider dating women with children, but I disagree.
Let’s go into the benefits first…(or scroll down to the video!)
Yep, those same red pilled guys who won’t date single moms are not your competition.
They don’t even want to be. Win win.
When you have less competition she has more competition. That means you have more choice than she has.
More choice = greater ability to be selective. Stick to your standards.
You don’t have to worry about whether or not either of you is fertile, so if you want more kids then you’re likely 50% there.
If you don’t want any more children, she’s already got at least one, so you can consider yourselves “one and done.”
And if her child is older, then you might get to skip some of the sleepless nights she inevitably had during the infant years.
I doubt anyone would disagree that good moms are nurturing, you may get some of that spinoff when you have a sick day.
They’re also stable and responsible, less need to worry about or deal with chaos and unexpected challenges in all areas of life.
Not all single mothers who are nurturing with their children will be the same with you, but the good ones will be!
Most likely if you’ve wanted a family you’ve noticed that a lot of women gain more weight than necessary during pregnancy and some never lose it.
If she’s already had a child, you’ll know either how she deals with mommy weight or how her body does.
It’s ok if that’s important to you! Women value things men find shallow, too. 😉
Good women (not just single mothers) are loyal, but a good single mom is extra committed to working through difficulties to keep the family unit together (this time).
Dating a single mother who is “a good one” probably means she’s not at the bar every weekend picking up Chads or Tyrones.
The last thing she wants is an unexpected pregnancy or to be introducing random men to her kids.
In my opinion—and I’m sure most men agree—y’all fellas don’t want to settle down with a gal who settled for any Dick just to “get some.”
That’s not to say you wouldn’t have sex with that kind of gal, you are a man after all.
Okay, so yeah, there are some benefits to dating a single mother that could be deeply fulfilling, but now let’s look at the risks.
If things go wrong and you split up, you could be on the hook to support her and her offspring.
Most relationships do not last.
Read that again.
Find out the laws in your area about how much responsibility you have.
Dating a single mother means living life around kid’s schedules. That’s life.
Being a mom is a huge responsibility and if she’s a good mom then she’s going to take the job seriously.
You’ll need to be flexible.
Unless the children’s dad has died, is a deadbeat long-and-gone pop, or is locked up, he’ll be part of your life.
Even if she’s an amazing woman, he might not be a great guy and you may have to deal with drama.
Which brings me to…
You’ll have less authority with her kids than she does or even than the ex does, at least for awhile.
Kids are selfish and will sometimes pit all parents against each other to get what they want.
This is not the fun part—trust me, I know!
Another Reality Land of dating a single mother is her libido may not be the same as before giving birth.
And / or her bits and parts may not be the same as before, though this part is largely fixable if she’s wanting and willing.
Tread very very carefully here!
Again, because the welfare of her children must come first, you won’t.
This doesn’t mean that there won’t be accommodation and negotiation but ultimately if she’s a good mom, she’ll consider what’s best for her children over what’s best for you.
If she’s been a single mom for awhile, she’s used to running the household.
When a woman has to plan, take charge, direct and lead (masculine qualities), she can lose connection with her softer feminine side.
If you don’t want a Miss Bossy Pants, it’ll take time and actions for her trust your masculine qualities and allow herself to settle into her feminine.
Life raising children is substantially different than life as a free wheeling single.
No matter how wonderful family life may be—and it truly can be wonderful—when the chicks leave the nest, you may find you have little left in common.
This happens often with any couple who’s shared parenting and then the kids finally move out and the couple ends up breaking up.
And finally, a practical consideration…
If you’re together for any length of time and / or living together, you’ll need to figure out your Wills.
I know, adulting is so not fun.
But you’ll need to figure out at some point what’s going to you and your kids if you have any, and what’s going to her side.
Along the same lines, if you’re together for a long time, if something should happen to her, who’ll get custody of the kids?
Like stubborn crabgrass you can’t get rid of, those little rascals may grow on you. 😉
If something happens to their mom or if you break up, will you still have a right to be in their life if you want to?
In the video, I’ve shared 5 major red flags you need to check for — watch now!
You can improve your odds of meeting women in a big city, get the details here.
Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)