Theres a difference between female manipulation vs reasonable needs. In this vlog, I’m revealing how women manipulate men and what you can do about it!
It’s critical for your long term happiness that you gather enough intel on her to determine her risk level and potential for a long term relationship…
If if you’re not sure you want a long term relationship…
Because as you probably know, many men get hoodwinked into a relationship with a woman they had no intention of having a long term relationship with…
Especially if the physical chemistry is amazing.
So it’s imperative you watch for signs on how women manipulate men!
One quick side note on female manipulation tactics.
Unless she’s really emotionally damaged and/or a narcissist, most women do not intentionally manipulate men.
They do it automatically and unconsciously often because of subconscious triggers.
Let’s have a look at some examples.
Needing excessive attention and/or reassurance.
If her dad died when she was 12, she may have abandonment issues.
This doesn’t necessarily mean she’s damaged goods.
We all have insecurities and sensitive blind spots.
So, she may have a fear you’ll leave her. #abandonher
How this insecurity may play out in how she might try to manipulate you is by being overly concerned about your whereabouts, particularly if you may be exposed to other women.
Women you may leave her for.
Her manipulation tactic may be to guilt you into checking in with her far more than is reasonable.
Acting like a damsel in distress.
She may beg you for your support or help accompanied by high emotion and possibly water works—crying.
She may say things like, “I’m such a loser, I know you don’t love me.”
Or, “I know you don’t really want me.”
Or, “You can do better than being with me.” etc
Essentially, she plays on your need to protect her and be her hero, while reassuring her in the hopes you’ll believe your own words.
Again, unless she’s a psychopath, she may not understand this behaviour is unhealthy.
Nonetheless, you need to nip this in the bud.
#3 is a juicy one. We’ll save it for last! 😉
Punishes or guilt trips you.
She may ask you to do things for her that are selfish as a punishment to your for making her feel bad.
Maybe you disappointed her in some way.
Let’s say you cancelled plans on something she’d wanted to do, like going out for dinner, even though it’s not a special occasion like an anniversary where her feeling disappointed would be reasonable.
If she doesn’t feel your reason for cancelling is “good enough” she may get pouty or act distant.
She may say something like, “I can’t believe you’d do that to me” with contempt even though it’s not a big deal and any reasonable person would agree.
Again, unless you’re always cancelling plans last minute.
So, she chastises you and then makes you take her to a way more expensive restaurant next time to punish you.
No es bueno!
No one—NO ONE—can “make” you feel a certain way. You are in control of and responsible for your own feelings. But yes, people can trigger you to react.
Uses your past mistakes against you when she’s done something to hurt you.
Every man has experienced this one!
Women’s memories of past hurts are neurological more wired in than men’s memories are.
Yep, because the emotional centre of a woman’s brain is eight times bigger than a man’s (some exceptions may apply) and tied to long term memory, women remember the hurts of the past with more vivid detail and feeling attached than men tend to.
So, she’s stored every little thing you’ve done “wrong” even if she doesn’t intend to.
That’s not the terrible part. In fact, it’s the good part for you.
Think of it this way: if she remembers every hurt and is still with you, she values your good traits all the more.
But… she may still use those past hurts you “did to her” to get out of something she’s done wrong.
Let’s look at the dinner cancellation again and reverse it.
She cancels dinner last minute and you’re sitting at the restaurant waiting for her.
Understandably, you may be annoyed. But instead of apologizing, as she should, she reminds you of when you cancelled on her that one time 3 years ago.
And/or she may throw in a few other times you disappointed her in the near or far past.
She shifts the focus to what you’ve done wrong.
Along those lines is…
She strokes your ego to get out of trouble or to set up a request for something you won’t like that is totally selfish on her part.
So, she compliments you or makes you an extra nice dinner or pulls out the #3 tactic (revealed momentarily) and pretends she’s doing it just because she cares about you.
There is nothing wrong with doing nice things for each other in the hopes of future reciprocation.
All relationships—intimate, friendship, family—are “transactional.” (Unless you’re a monk.)
The difference between selfish manipulation and motive persuasion is the intention an integrity behind the action.
If she says outright, “I’m making you an extra special dinner tonight because I’m going to ask you for something a little bit selfish and I’m trying to butter you up…” in a playful way then you’re in on the negotiation.
And along these lines is #3, the juicy tactic you’ve been waiting for—then I’ll share how to know she’s manipulating i.e. her intention and what to do.
Uses sex or physical intimacy to create intimacy but for an ulterior motive: to get something.
She may use this tactic to get something she wants hat she thinks you’d otherwise resist—
She wants to go to Vegas with her girlfriends but she’s—or you as a couple are, if applicable— up to her (/your) eyeballs in debt
Or as a preamble to admitting to doing something you don’t like—she booked her tickets to Vegas.
Or as a distraction technique if you’re fighting over Vegas and she’s losing ground.
It’s hard (pun) to resist her cookie when the offer of nookie comes up!
I hope you learned something new in this how women manipulate men vlog!
Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)