So what are these tiny habits that help you get a girlfriend?
These tiny habits are actually life hacks that, when combined and consistently used, will provide huge cumulative results in your love life.
Before we look at the wee habits that help you get a girlfriend, let’s look at what a habit is.
We all have them but what are they and how do they form without our conscious awareness?
Habits are automatic and often unconscious repeated behaviours.
A lot of guys have the habit of…
Are you sure you’re ready for this rabbit hole?
Oooook, don’t say I did’t warn you!
In a nutshell…
Life experience (particularly in early childhood involving primary care givers) creates thoughts about who we are and what our worth is in the world.
Those thoughts, when repeated often enough, become a belief system.
That belief system influences our actions—and inactions—in the world.
Our actions create outcomes that usually further confirm our belief systems. #confirmationbias
Since our primary function is to be safe in the world, we continue with the actions where we know the consequence—even if that consequence isn’t desired—because the result is predictable.
Predictability makes us feel safe.
It also stagnates our personal growth and keeps us stuck where we often don’t want to be.
So, we truly need to change our thinking to change our beliefs to change our habits to change our results.
#WakeUP2Luv provides a step by step guide on how to do this.
But in the meantime, here are the tiny habits that help you get a girlfriend…
It took a tonne of small steps to get to where you are today.
Accept it’s going to take time, consistency and conscious effort to get to a new place, a new you.
Almost anyone who’s done anything you think is amazing didn’t do it on the first try.
Not pro athletes or famous actors or scientists or gamers or pick up artists.
Accepting change takes time helps you from blaming yourself for setbacks along the way.
Small steps also allow you to gain small wins along the way which, if you’ve been watching my channel awhile, you know releases dopamine.
Dopamine is the motivator neurotransmitter that makes you want to take more new, small steps toward the goal.
If you are that guy who has a hard time maintaining eye contact with girls you like, start making eye contact with women. Any women.
Repeat until comfortable aka until it’s a new tiny habit.
When it’s easy, increase the stakes. Maybe move on to smiling or saying, “hi.”
Again, I go into a lot more detail on how to create habits that help you get a girlfriend in my WakeUP2Luv program.
The first thing a girl notices about you along with your general physical appearance is your attitude.
Attitude alone can be make it or break it for a girl.
No girl wants a guy who’s bitter toward “all women” or life in general.
A bad attitude tells her you won’t appreciate her and you have a tough time handling the unpredictability of life.
Neither of those make a girl feel safe, which is her primary need after all.
Start every day with a positive attitude by thinking of something you can be grateful for.
Everyone can find something to be thankful for. If you’re reading this, you’ve got some means to do that, many don’t.
Along these lines…
Studies consistently show these two social media sites to be the worst culprits for creating cranky, insecure and lonely people.
Facebook is filled with negativity designed to get you to engage in discord.
Instagram is filled with filtered narcissists determined to make you feel inadequate.
Watch educational or inspiration YouTube videos or a documentary where you might learn something new and interesting.
Hint: Learning something new and interesting can make you more interesting in conversation.
Which leads to one of the best habits that help you get a girlfriend but is also helpful in other areas of life…
If you want to be a better conversationalist with women, you need to become a better conversationalist in general.
This means you actually have to talk to people.
And not just the same (safe) people.
If you want to be able to approach beautiful women you don’t know and amaze them with your social skills, you have to have social skills.
Again, start by opening conversations with people you don’t know but who aren’t intimidating and with whom you have no skin in the game.
Every time you go to the coffee shop, make it a goal to talk to a stranger.
You might even make it the person behind you, so it’s always easy to know who you’re going to engage with.
You can turn around and say, “Are you in a hurry, do you want my spot? I’m not in a rush.”
Your question is thoughtful and generous.
This type of conversation opener is difficult to reject without the person looking like a jerk.
They’ll say yes or no and you can always add, “Always try to pay it forward, right?”
If they open up to conversation, you may even move into the next one of the little habits that help you get a girlfriend.
A genuine compliment delivered with confidence and kindness can make a girl melt.
But if you’re not practiced at giving sincere compliments, or any compliments, then when you have the opportunity to do so with a girl you’re attracted to it’ll likely come off as awkward and creepy.
Again, not qualities girls find attractive.
So start practicing giving compliments to everyone!
You’ll train your brain to look for things to compliment and the bonus side effect is you’ll be making others feel good along the way.
Of course, the key is sincerity.
It doesn’t have to be a physical compliment. In fact, non-physical compliments tell people you’ve paid attention to more than the superficial.
Telling your female workmates when they’ve done something you admire.
“Hey Aleisha, that report was really well put together.”
“Is that a new outfit, Tiffany? Great colour on you.”
Or, if upping your game, “The colour brings out your eyes.”
When you start dolling out compliments on the ready, your brain will have an easier time accessing a sincere compliment for a girl you’re into without freaking out because you’re nervous.
All habits—whether beneficial or detrimental—take time, consistency and effort.
And since it also feels good to receive compliments, the next one may help you get some. too.
Not only is exercise (and eating right) one of the habits that help you get a girlfriend but it can help balance your testosterone and boost your mood.
With time, you can also reshape your body so it’s more appealing to the kind of healthy, physically fit girls you want.
Do most physically fit, attractive women want to be with an out-of-shape man not interested in health and longevity?
But remember, too, women who are ready for a long term relationship aren’t just evaluating appearance. They want to make sure you’re going to live awhile.
From wherever you are, add one exercise a day that will start to improve your health.
It could be adding a 10 minute walk or doing 25 pushups and 25 squats. Or both.
They key is, wherever you are, if you know your physical fitness needs some work, start.
Exercising can also increase your testosterone if it’s unnaturally low which will help with mood and assertiveness.
Hint: Put out your exercise gear the night before.
One of the most important tiny habits when dating a girl that lead to huge results is…
People are generally more motivated by positive encouragement than negative criticism.
You are no different.
So, stop trash talking yourself!
Talking crap about yourself isn’t humble and isn’t attractive to women.
But it also won’t do you any good to think badly of yourself because that attitude will show up in all your interactions with women (and others) even when you don’t self-deprecate aloud.
This one is a tough one because we’re all programmed with thoughts we acquired in childhood and beyond.
Most of these thoughts revolved around not being good enough.
Don’t worry, if you’re watching my videos you’re likely not a narcissist who has to worry about becoming too egotistical. (Not that narcissists worry about that.)
Start catching yourself putting yourself down and instead start thinking about how to accept what you can’t change and work on changing what you can.
Let’s say you want to start exercising but you’re not in the habit of it yet.
The first few days of wanting to do pushups in the morning don’t happen because you didn’t budget enough time.
Instead of telling yourself you’re a loser who’ll never improve, think this, “Ok, I’m starting a new habit. Habits don’t happen overnight. I’ll try again tomorrow and set my alarm for 5 minutes earlier. I can do this.”
When you’re in the habit of negative self-talk, as with all the other “tiny dating habits when dating a girl that lead to huge results,” it takes time, consistency and effort to change.
Women will mirror the attitude you have toward yourself.
One of the things a lot of guys who are unsuccessful with women think is, “Why would she like me?”
But you think about it in a way that lists off your flaws.
Start trying to think about your good traits!
Write that stuff down and remind yourself of it every dang day!
No one is perfect but when you accept some of your great traits, you won’t feel like such a loser working on things that would be beneficial to change.
If you accept you have worth then you’re doing yourself a favour by allowing you to make improvements where it’ll serve you instead of punishing yourself for not being good enough.
If you want a process to figure out what to change and what to accept about yourself, get my WakeUP2Luv program.
This brings us to…
When you know your worth as a man, accepting certain flaws and being ok as a work in progress in other areas, you’ll get into the mindset of, “Is she good enough for me?”
You’ll stop worrying about whether or not girls like you and start having the attitude of a high value man.
Women can feel this attitude from across a crowded room.
Women are very intuitive this way even if we don’t understand why we’re drawn to certain men. Yes, even stereotypically unattractive men, maybe especially so.
Teasing a girl by saying something like, “I don’t know if I could date a girl who’s not into Minecraft.” 😉
That’s fun and playful and she knows you’re joking (assuming you are)!
But follow up somewhere in the conversation with a serious standard.
You: “I’ll never give up game night with the boys.”
Her: “Not even for me?” Eyelash flutter
You: “Nope. But you don’t seem like the kind of insecure girl who needs her guy around all the time, anyway… or am I wrong about you?”
When your attitude becomes cautious curiosity combined with attraction and intrigue, women will unconsciously wonder what is so attractive about you and want to find out.
When a woman is chasing you, you are in the driver’s seat, my friend.
And to keep her interested long enough to build a bond, you’ll want to adhere to the Wingmam motto…
This one often confuses guys who aren’t sure how to pull off being alpha dominant and masculine without coming off as disinterested and aloof.
I’m not saying don’t give a woman anything. Nooooo.
You want to give enough to intrigue her and make her feel special but you don’t want to give her everything all at once.
Your vulnerable life experiences that stuck with you and still affect you; your deepest secrets; your complete commitment… these are things to dole out over time when she’s earned it.
How does she earn the gift of emotional intimacy?
She does this in two ways, both of which must be present.
Decency shows up as her treating you with respect always, but particularly when you’re sharing something with her you feel vulnerable about sharing.
Or that any man might feel vulnerable about sharing.
You tell her, “My mom had a bad attitude toward men because of her divorce. That messed me up for awhile.”
If she’s tender and sincere with her reply, she may be a keeper.
If she’s insensitive and tells you to get over it already or don’t be a pussy, she’s a throw back.
She must display this respectful behaviour consistently over time.
You don’t want to unload your life’s fill of struggles on a girl just because she handles the first confession well.
You may have gotten lucky with her first reaction.
Plus, even if she responds in a caring way, you’ll overwhelm her and make her wonder if you can handle life never mind a relationship.
Hint: Caring mode = maternal mode = non-arousal mode.
So, divy up your vulnerable stories over time.
And because feminine women are attracted to masculine men, you’re also best to display proofs of overt masculinity after you’ve shared something vulnerable.
However, it’s important you know how to do this the right way.
Women want a masculine man who makes them feel safe.
If you show too much vulnerability, you’ll come across as emotionally weak and this is a big turn off.
And if you’re trying too hard to be alpha, she’ll think you’re insecure – another big turn off.
However, when you can get the right balance of vulnerability and masculinity, you’ll bring her on a rollercoaster of emotions.
You’ll show her you’re a strong man who she can feel safe around…
But you also show her you have a caring side which she can connect with.
Few men are able to do this.
So when you do, you’ll stand out and women will find you incredibly sexy.
Watch my video on how to balance alpha masculinity with vulnerability.
In fact, you could add “selective vulnerability” to the list of tiny habits that help you get a girlfriend. 😉
You got this!
Info on WakeUP2Luv is here.
Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)