5 Phrases You Should NEVER Say to an Angry Woman (+1 You Should)!

Phrases You Should NEVER Say to an Angry Woman

(+The One Phrase That Works 99% of the Time to Calm Her Down!)

Have you ever tried to calm down an angry woman? If yes, you already know there are certain phrases you should never say to an angry woman.

It’s not easy.

You say something you think will diffuse the situation, then she explodes even more.

Maybe she starts yelling, or breaks down in tears.

It can make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

You’re afraid to open your mouth.

This is because there are certain things which help calm guys down, yet they do the opposite to women.

In this video, I’m going to reveal what these phrases are, and also 1 thing you can say which will actually diffuse the situation.

It’s like having a remote control and pressing pause.

She’ll go from shouting and yelling to calm and peaceful.

So make sure you watch until the end to get this superpower.

Women are Complicated (It’s Biological!)

I’m sure many of you have innocently uttered some of these phrases only to receive her fiery wrath.

You may use other descriptives but I’m sure you’ll agree women are complicated creatures!

Some of that is in our biology!

Women’s emotional centre in the brain is eight times more sensitive than it is in men’s brains.

And it’s deeply tied to our long term memory, so there are plenty of triggers readily available to compound any touchy situation.

But did you know women are often as frustrated as you are by our emotions in ourselves and in other women.

Yes, I did just say that.

But, to quote my favourite neurobiologist, Andrew Huberman of Stanford Medicine, I wasn’t consulted at the design stage.

I’m just here to decode how our differences show up in the real world so you can have more satisfying and peaceful relationships with women.

So what are these trigger happy phrases you should never say to an angry woman?

And what’s the one phrase that works 99% of the time to calm her down?

Let’s review!

Let me know in the comments how many of these phrases you should never say to an angry woman you’ve used and which created the biggest fire storm!

I’ll bet most of you have said #1 which is a major trigger to 99% of all women!

Phrases You Should Never Say to An Angry Woman

Let’s do countdown format on these phrases you should never say to an angry woman!

5. Calm down / Chill out / Relax

When a woman isn’t calm, logical info will no longer get through to the part of her brain that deciphers logic.

Women actually do have the ability to be logical, but that area of our brain is simply much more easily override by emotion than men’s are.

As I’m sure you know, men also lose their cool but it takes a different stimuli and, for the sake of brevity, let’s say emotion isn’t as easily triggered.

But when any of us are already triggered, telling someone in that state to calm down, chill out or relax isn’t going to work.

And for a woman who’s angry, she’ll feel invalidated and that will only throw fuel on the fire, as I’m sure you may know.

But there is a phrase that will help her calm down and I’ll share that one with you shortly.

4. Don’t cry

Unless she’s a pathological manipulator or narcissist, which is possible, if she’s crying she’s lost control of her emotions and the ability to not cry.

And a woman who’s sobbing to the point of snot bubbles is probably not manipulating.

Those aren’t likely crocodile tears—they the real thing!

Women cry for many reasons:
  • Sadness
  • Anger
  • Frustration
  • Overwhelm
  • Compassion

When a woman’s ability to deal with a difficult situation pushes her to the point of big sloppy red-eyed swollen lid tears, she can’t just stop crying.

And telling her to do so only frustrates her more because she doesn’t have that control.

Key point!

Crying is an emotional release for all of us, women just happen to be less in control of when it happens.

Key point!

Especially if she’s tired, hungry or overwhelmed with obligations.

I’ll bet you’ve told a woman not to cry at some point. Now you know why that didn’t go as planned.

In a moment, I’ll give you the phrase that works 99% of time to calm her down plus a bonus non-verbal strategy that works 95% of the time depending on if she’s mad at you or someone else.

But first, let’s look at the next of my top five phrases you should never say to an angry woman…

3. Why are you so cranky/angry?

This one seems legit, doesn’t it?

I mean, you want to know why she’s upset so you can fix it, right?

Or you think the thing she’s upset about isn’t a big enough deal to warrant her reaction so by pointing that out you think she’ll suddenly become rational and feel better.


There’s a reason why this is one of the phrases to never say to an angry woman.

In her mind, she thinks she’s effectively communicated why she’s angry so by asking her she feels misunderstood, disconnected from you and invalidated.

2. It’s not that big a deal

Similar to #3, when you tell a woman her anger isn’t justified, even if it really isn’t that big a deal, to her it is.

If she’s angry at you, she feels dismissed.

If she’s angry at someone else or a situation, she feels betrayed.

Imagine if you get fired for something that was your fault and you’re pissed at your boss.

You share with her what a butthole your ex-boss is but your woman tells you it’s not that big a deal.

Or worse, she sides with the boss.

As a man with high accountability, you’ll come around to acknowledging your part in getting canned.

But in the heat of the moment when you’re sharing your frustrations with your trusted and true love, do you want her to call you out or lift you up?

You want her to be on your side!

I’ll share a true story about how this played out in my own life right after I share #1 of the phrases you should never say to an angry woman.

This one is guaranteed to push her button!

1. Are you on your period?

Guess what?

While men’s hormones fluctuate slightly in any given month or year, women’s hormones fluctuation on the daily.

Guess what else?

Hormones affect moods.

And since we have little to no control of our hormones, we’re extra sensitive to having them used against us.

If a woman is riding the cotton pony, she’ll be even more sensitive to being called out on it.

Women want to think we are always rational and we’ve been told our emotions are a flaw.

They’re not but we don’t like when our own bodies betray us.

When we are in “a mood” that makes us extra trigger happy, we don’t want to be reminded of that lack of self control.

So, what is the one phrase that works 99% of the time to calm down an angry woman?

And what is the non-verbal strategy that works 95% of the time?

And, since you stuck with me this long, I’ll share a personal story that gives you a bonus strategy that will win you big points.

But first…

Say THIS to an Angry Woman

“Tell me more. I’m listening.”

Women often need to vent through words.

Men usually quietly go into their caves to ponder their problems and eventually emerge with solutions.

Women, on the other hand, find solutions (and release of excess emotion) by talking about their problems.

They don’t want you to fix it or invalidate their feelings.

They want to feel heard and supported.

I understand this is a big ask for most men who are problem solvers.

Just understand that you are helping her solve her problem simply by listening.

If you’re unsure, you can even ask her, “Do you want me to help you/us find a solution or do you just need me to listen right now? How can I support you?”

Few men have ever said this to her!

Do THIS to an Angry Woman

If the issue isn’t about something you’ve done, the non-verbal strategy to diffuse her heightened emotional state is to hold her.

Depending on how well you know her, enveloping a woman in a warm embrace is often enough to help calm her down.

Keep in mind if the tears haven’t started flowing and she allows you to hug her, doing so may cause her to start crying.

This is because she now feels safe enough to release the rest of those pent up emotions.

Now, if the issue is about you, a hug may be the best or worst solution.

If she’s upset for a reason she truly thinks is legit, a hug may feel manipulative; like you’re avoiding dealing with the issue or taking responsibility if warranted.

However, if she’s upset because she’s tired, hangry or whatever and underneath that she knows she’s being unreasonable, then a hug may help.

If you know her well enough to know a hug will do the trick, do it!

If you’re unsure, it’s best to ask, “Can I hold you?”

The Bonus Strategy That Wins You Big Points with An Angry Woman

If she’s angry at someone else, saying this will prove your loyalty to her!

True AJ Story

I have an ex boyfriend who, when we were together, was in constant conflict with his landlady.

He was in a bad spot in his life and half the difficulties with this woman were his own fault.

Thinking I was helping, I pointed that out to him.

Ouch, I know.

This was over 10 years ago, and I still remember what he said.

“I know that, Anna, but right now I just want you to agree with me. Be on my team.”

That really stuck with me.

The next time he was complaining about her, I said, “You get the shovel, I’ll get the lime?”

We both laughed and I could see him visibly relax.

I was on his team.

When you do the same for your lady, she’ll not only calm down quicker but feel more connected to you than ever.

There are also some simple little phrases that turn a woman on, but more on that in a minute.

But just to recap, remember these strategies:
  1. Listening without fixing
  2. Hugging with permission
  3. Getting on her side

So now you know what phrases to never say to an angry woman and the phrases that calm her down, it’s time to know what phrases turn her on!

Phrases That Turn Women On

I’m talking about certain words which will set off strong arousal triggers in her head.

These tiny innocent words go right to her heart and make her crave your attention and touch.

When you say them she’ll instantly melt and want to be closer to you, both emotionally and physically.

And the best part is, these words are short, sweet and simple.

So they’re easy to remember.

However, you need to know when to say them.

Say them at the right time and things can quickly get steamy.

This is what I’ll reveal to you in the next video.

So go watch it now.

Phrases That Turn Women On

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)

Leave a Comment:

Rodney Glasgow says September 8, 2021

Hehehe Anna – your opener before you give the actual phases reminds me of a very old and classic and famous cartoon frame from Pogo (I think Pogo was a porcupine in the swamp – OK OK this dates me, too, I suppose.)

Anyway, trying to remember, it goes something like this, with Pogo speaking to the other swamp creatures:

“We have met the enemy. And we is it!”


    Rodney Glasgow says September 8, 2021

    er not phases – but phrases

    Anna Jorgensen says September 9, 2021

    And here I am giving away our secrets! 😉

      Rodney Glasgow says September 10, 2021

      We value the “intell” – it’s 2nd to none and you make it fun. (Plus, I think you enjoy divulging the goods.)

wally says September 8, 2021

Anna, I have enoyed your videos for a lengthy time and find them so accurate and right re all the relationships of men and women. I am older, retired and cling to memories that are very special to me, I am a hopeless romantic and became friends with a young woman years ago…I experienced the highest level of love at 22, she 19…but she was with someone and yet torn between us. I lost. It is as “Love in the Time of Cholera,” by Marquez with Florentino and Fermina, (except I never had her for the love of my life as I desperately wanted.) Now, fifty years later, if I could have her, the previous fifty years of anguish w/out her would seem as nothing. It would have been heaven on earth. I still wonder if Shakespeare was right, re it better to love and lost, etc. I love still the oy even being near her, but the heart sickness all my life, never having such as that again…so painful. I wish I knew why such love was given, but never reciprocal. Do you know? wally (my letter “after “i” does not work!)

    Anna Jorgensen says September 9, 2021

    Unrequited love is one of the most painful kinds. Those who’ve experienced it often unconsciously create rose tinted memories of the person they loved ignoring the reality that no one is perfect… you just never got to know what those imperfections are. The more you focus on something the more it grows. Like a well trodden path in the forest, those thoughts become embedded in your brain. There are too many reasons to list why someone won’t or can’t return the love you want from them. Best to refocus your attention on what’s within your control. Big hug. 🙂

Wally says September 8, 2021


Jim Wetzel says September 8, 2021

At the risk of seeming shallow, that blouse you’re wearing in the video is very, very pretty. Elegant.

    Anna Jorgensen says September 9, 2021

    Thank you! 🙂

Aberrant Lawyer says September 10, 2021

I think your videos are interesting…BUT…
I have given girls a tappon or kotex when the female starts this type of crap and yet I still have a problem avoiding unwanted female attention. Women seem to need male attention.

Add Your Reply