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How To Get Her Hooked In The Early Stages Of Dating!


Want To Know How To Get Her Hooked In The Early Stages Of Dating? SURPRISING!

Even if there’s instant mutual attraction, there’s a finesse to knowing how to get her hooked in the early stages of dating.

Has a girl ever told you she really likes you but she only sees you as a friend?

It could be because you didn’t do one of these two counterintuitive things.

Let’s look at the difference between charming the panties right off her and her clam INSTANTLY clamming up and shutting down permanently.

If you want her to get hooked in the early stages of dating…

She needs to feel like she’s the lucky one to be with you.

Read that again.

She feels like the lucky one.

In fact, for a relationship to have the best chance of success, each of you should feel like the lucky one.

That takes work, but for now let’s look at how to get her hooked in the early stages of dating by making her feel like she’s the lucky one.

For her to feel like she’s the lucky one, she needs to feel that you’re not like all the other guys who fawn all over her.

Mirror Mirror

I’ve said in several videos, women mirror your feelings about yourself.

So, the first step to get her hooked in the early stages of dating is to have an attitude of assessment.

Here’s what I mean…

Assessing Her

If you’re showing any kind of interest, she already knows you like the looks of her and if you know her then she also assumes you like her personality.

That’s a given. Women instinctively know when you’re into them—or would like to be.

Unless you’re skilled at being cool as a cucumber, she gonna know!

So, you need to balance out desire for her by assessing her value, which she’ll experience as you potentially retracting your desire for her.

If you put her on a pedestal, she’ll not only look down on you but she’ll not trust your judgment.

She knows she has flaws, so if you can acknowledge her flaws without judgment, she’ll automatically feel reassured you’re not desperate and needy.

Desperate and needy = low value.

We all feel safer when we find someone that knows who we really are and loves us, anyway.

If you like her real self she’ll appreciate you more and automatically feel more connected to and safe with you.

Assessing her means your primary question when getting to know her is…

Does SHE Qualify for YOU?

She knows you’re physically attracted to her, but if she thinks her personality, values or beliefs are still under review, she’ll not only want to win you over but she’ll respect you have standards.

High value men practice discernment because they know their value and they know there’s another bus coming soon.

Low value men don’t practice prequalifying her because they don’t know their value and don’t feel they deserve to get on any bus… never mind a luxury bus.

But at the same time, you don’t try to act better than her.

You have no need to act superior because you know your value.

Stick with me, real life examples of what this looks like coming up after Justthetip #2 on how to get her hooked in the early stages of dating.

This one is also counter intuitive.

Self Assessment

You handle her weaknesses with gentleness and you handle your own with strength.

What do I mean by this?

Because you know your worth as a man, you’re not afraid to acknowledge or talk about your flaws.

You don’t feel the need to hide your flaws which allows her to not feel the need to find them.

You can talk about your weak spots in a non-apologetic way because you know everyone has flaws and you don’t feel diminished by yours.

Bonus point if you’re actively working on improving yourself in those areas, especially the areas women need to feel safe with you.

A man who can acknowledge his own flaws and takes responsibility for them makes a woman feel safe.

Women’s primary need is to feel safe, physically and emotionally.

Talking about your own flaws with self-awareness but also self-respect is a way to get her hooked in the early stages of dating because she trusts you’re not pretending to be better than you are.

You’re not going to pull a bait and switch.

And she’ll automatically be less inclined to search out other flaws and instead focus on your great traits.

Self-accountability ranks high on the sexy metric! For both men and women.

So, you have no problem acknowledging your shortfalls because you know no one is perfect and you don’t feel diminished by having flaws.

You either own your flaws or are working on them.

Your motto: progress not perfection!

Let’s see at what this looks like in the real world.

Assessing Her Examples

When using the “assess her” approach for how to get her hooked in the early stages of dating, you want to make sure you’re not coming across as sarcastic or judgmental.

You can even ask her what she sees as her flaws!

If she jokes saying she has none, you can say, “Looks like we found one, already!” Wink.

Let’s say she does reveal something unattractive about herself.

She might say, “I’m so bad with budgeting!”

Do not change the subject, let her off the hook or bypass talking about it.

This is a great opportunity for you!

Key Point!

A lot of nice guys pretend they didn’t even hear it because they’re worried if they acknowledge the flaw she’ll get turned off.

Wrong!

If you ignore it, she’ll get turned off.

She automatically subconsciously assumes you don’t have standards.

No standards = weak, desperate or needy.

You need to address it—gently but realistically.

You can say, “Sounds like that’s not working out too good for you. What are you doing about it?”

You’re not judging but you are assessing.

You have standards.

Assessing Yourself Examples

When using “self assessment” for how to get her hooked in the early stages of dating, you want to be stronger.

Gentle with her = non-judgmental.

Firm with yourself = responsible.

Let’s use the same example.

Let’s say you reveal to her, “I tend to live in the moment. I’m not in debt but I haven’t saved as much as I’d like to so I … [insert self-accountability action here].”

You might say, “I set up a budget. I invest 10% of every paycheque no matter what.”

Key Point!

If she’s just looking for fun or if she’s a gold digger, she’ll think you’re broke (and you might be) and be turned off.

But if she’s looking for a relationship, depending on what stage of life you’re at, she’ll think you’re financially responsible, which makes her feel safe.

However, the more impact your “flaw” has on her ability to feel safe will determine how many questions she asks about it to ensure it’s not a red flag.

Or you might say, “I’m upgrading my skills so I can legit ask for a promotion.”

Or whatever.

Basically, she wants to know you see the real her and can accept her.

And you see the real you and are working on improving the areas you need to in your life that make her feel safe.

If you don’t know what areas to work on first, my WakeUP2Luv program walks you through a process to discover them and to know where to start.

Click here for more details on WakeUP2Luv and to get the program!

Need some reassurance you won’t be wasting your hard earned cash? A few of my favourite testimonials are here.

You got this!

Thanks for being here and God bless. 🥰

Anna Jorgensen

About the author

Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️
(Not PC and not a feminist.)

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  1. Some of the best and most practical advice I have seen or read. In the past, I would try humor to try to get her interested, but I feel like I’m that Bill Murray character in Groundhog Day, trying to get it right the next time, but failing time and again. This advice keeps me from doing what I always seem to do too much, trying to impress. Thank you!

    1. You’re welcome! Even though it seems counter-intuitive, when explained why it isn’t it makes more sense. You got this!

  2. Hi Anna please don’t take this wrong but I’m 56 and I’m listening to this video and it sounds like your talking to men in their 30-40’s

    1. Evan, I was hoping Anna would respond, but I thought I would add two cents. I didn’t get the impression that this was about 30 to 40 year olds. I am 75, and I found the advice valuable and inciteful for someone of any age old enough to date. I also believe this would be of value to women as well as men. The main point of the article, as I see it, is to approach a new acquaintance with an attitude of “let’s see if this works for both of us”, and not to place her on a pedestal, no matter how attractive she is, and lose her interest simply because your head is about impressing her about how great you are. It’s a simple, straightforward message but a very powerful one at the same time.

    2. Thank you for reading! The advice applies to all women but the application (delivery) of how you communicate would be somewhat adjusted based on maturity (age) and personality.

      And yes, exactly what Dennis said! (Thanks Dennis!) :))

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