3 Surprising Daddy Issues to Watch For!
Surprise! Not all daddy issues come from so-called “bad” dads. (Most dads are doing their best.)
Sometimes, daddy issues come from good dads with only the best intentions for their little princess.
If a girl was spoiled by her dad as a child or even into adulthood and in his eyes could do no wrong, she’s been taught that’s what to expect from all men.
And, even if she wasn’t spoiled rotten, if she puts her dad on a pedestal, she’ll look down on other men.
This happened to Paul.
And this video is for him and all the other men who’ve experienced painful heartache dating a narcissistic woman with “good daddy” issues.
Paul’s girlfriend with daddy issues…
Paul writes…
I’ve been watching your red flags videos. Why did I not find them before? I needed them ages ago.
There were lots of your other red flags, like making me feel I owe her if she came with me and my family.
You know what, it was nearly all of them.
Never shook my head at the TV screen so much.
Most of the red flags you highlighted in your red flag video, well that was her.
But there were more… and I think maybe you could add to another video with these points I’m about to say.
Let’s start at the beginning to see what happened to Paul; the #1 thing to look for if she’s got “good daddy” issues, why you can never satisfy an emotionally damaged woman with “good daddy” issues; and what Paul should do next.
Paul continues…
I’ve been in a relationship for the past 7 years which I’ve decided very recently to end.
1. She constantly compared me to her ex or friends’ boyfriends.
When her best friend and her boyfriend went to Greece for a holiday, I got all kinds of abuse (seriously).
How I do nothing for her, we don’t go anywhere, “look how good Alex is to her, he takes her places.”
It’s not that I’ve done nothing with her. Less than a year before, I took her to the south of France.
And the year before we went to Italy, and before Covid, we went to Australia and Paris.
But as soon as she sees one of her friends doing something, it was immediately thrown onto me.
It wasn’t easy.
Hostile reactions from her made it very difficult to know when she would blow up because her friend’s boyfriend was doing something she wanted to do.
Plus, she’s a school teacher so when I could take time off from my work, she couldn’t and when school holidays came about sometimes I’d be traveling for work.
She’d tell me off if it was her holidays and I had to work on a project somewhere.
Comparing to ex’s happened all. the. time.
“My ex-boyfriend did this and that…”
She was always comparing.
It felt like I had so much to live up to because these guys were so much better than me.
If that wasn’t bad enough…
2. She constantly compared me to her father.
Paul goes on to write…
She has this thing with her dad and she’s constantly on the phone with him.
She’d say things like, “My father wouldn’t do that… my father wouldn’t say that.”
Most of the time, it was about money.
“My father would always pay, he’s so generous. You’re not a generous person at all.”
And that brings us to the next point.
3. She would always call me not generous to increase my efforts.
Paul says…
I felt like I was working so hard to get her approval.
She had a massive bill arrive one time that she cried to me she had no way of paying, so I paid it for her.
Not even a thank you.
And I didn’t even ask for a thank you.
After, her response was, “Don’t think I’m saying thank you for that, you’re not a generous person if you think that.”
Seriously, she said that, and I did not even think or ask for a thank you.
I ended up always putting my hands in my pocket to avoid an outburst and being compared to.
As I write this, I think to myself, geez I put up with a lot.
And it was mentally draining and I’d have to say, I do feel like I’m a bit insecure now as a result.
I’m not interested in dating right now and I don’t think I will be for a while.
I feel like I need at least a year just to get my life back together.
I lost a lot of myself in that relationship.
Lost touch with loads of friends. Lost touch with things I liked doing. I lost touch with myself basically because I put all my focus on her.
Because if I didn’t, I was called selfish.
Paul’s Question…
Should I take a time out and just be alone to regroup and mentally put myself back together?
AJ: YES!
I hear some people say, go out and date and get your mind off her completely.
AJ: Not now, you’re too raw.
Getting over someone by getting into someone else only helps distract when your heart has healed a bit.
When you’re not at that point yet, sleeping with someone else almost always has the opposite effect: you feel worse.
Paul: I’ve never picked up a woman in a bar and I don’t want to.
I don’t like the idea of dating apps, probably more narcissists on there than genuine people.
Dating isn’t something that comes naturally to me or is like snowflakes falling from the sky for me.
I always believed the right woman would come along one day in God’s timing.
What’s meant to be is meant to be.
In my past relationships, the woman always made the first move. I was too scared to initiate in case I was wrong.
AJ: Solutions coming up!
Paul: So I probably ended up in that situation dealing with a narcissistic woman because of who I am—AJ: because of who you think you are—but I’d rather be me than a sleazeball.
I am a bit wounded from this and I just don’t want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire, if you know what I mean.
“Good Daddy” Issues
In a nutshell…
As mentioned earlier, if a girl was spoiled by her father and could do no wrong, she learned that’s what to expect from all men.
To a lesser degree, even if she wasn’t spoiled rotten, if she put her dad on a pedestal, she’ll look down on other men.
The bar is set too high with rose-colored daddy glasses.
And you, no matter what you do or how good a man you truly are, can never measure up.
However…
Key Point!
If she is emotionally healthy and views her father as a good man but not Superman, she’ll appreciate your good qualities and celebrate them and won’t compare your flaws to her dad’s perfection.
Because she knows her dad is amazing, not perfect. She knows no one is perfect—not him, not you, not her. And that’s ok.
What Should Paul Do?
- Focus on getting your life back together.
- Reach out to friends you’ve neglected, and apologize for the neglect.
- Get back into your hobbies. Start a new one!
- Focus on whatever slacked when you were with her. #yourhealth
- Focus on you, not women until you feel confident you’ll be the one choosing.
You’re the prize.
If you want to reclaim your confidence and self-esteem before getting back out there in the dating world watch my Tiny Habits Huge Results video.
And if you want a step-by-step guide for where to start, what to do first, and what to do next then get my WakeUP2Luv program and do all the work.
By the time you finish my program, you will have higher self-esteem and self-worth.
You’ll be on your way to selecting and approaching high-value women with confidence and ease.
Best of all, you’ll quickly ditch the trouble-maker and heart-breakers, because you’ll have fixed what caused you to put up with abuse in the past… and then you’ll wonder what you ever saw in this spoiled princess.
If you’re ready for some deep work and transformation, get WakeUP2Luv now.
Thanks for being here, God bless.
Anna, I help teach a divorce recovery group. We teach how to truly get to know and love yourself, as well as determining what your must-have/can’t-stand list is. Both are crucial. I was truly heartbroken when divorcing three years ago and had two false-start relationships with decent ladies who were not right/good for me. But doing the work and teaching what I learned has reinforced these lessons. I’m trying again and I see the qualities I’m insisting on for myself In the lady I am currently with. I believe she’s seeing the same in me. We both have our eyes open. Pray for us.
I follow you regularly and pass it on to others as I see your value and I trust your judgment. You are a Godsend to me and others. Thank you for all you do.
Scott Montgomery
Hey Scott! You’re doing good work that is so needed today… as you well know from your own personal experience! I’m happy you’ve found a good lady to help mend your heart. Sending prayers!!
p.s. You may want to consider helping your group work through my WakeUP2Luv program. (There’s an affiliate referral option at the bottom of this page.)
Makes sense
Glad you think so! 🙂