Ok, so you followed my dating advice on habits to help you get a girlfriend, but what are the habits when dating a girl that lead to huge results?
The first set of habits get you in the door to dating, but these next set help you close the deal to making her your girlfriend.
These habits are borrowed from one of my savvy YouTube viewers, MYPOV—thanks!—with a few AJ tips and examples thrown in for good measure.
By the end of this vlog, you’ll have nine ways to stand out in a positive way from eery other guy she’s dated in the past.
She’ll be thinking about you all. the. time! 😉
So, without further adieu, here are the…
MYPOV: Don’t answer any calls or text messages while talking to her. She will notice she’s a priority.
We all want to feel special and in a world of constant digital distractions, being able to provide undivided attention shows her she’s important to you.
Unlike all the guys who are busy swiping left and right during their date with her!
Of course, she should be able to reciprocate this respectful gesture.
You’re at a restaurant and your phone is turned off and put away out of sight, but hers is on the table face up with notifications set to “all and noisy.”
It’s ok to kindly say, “Do you notice I put my phone away when I’m with you? I’d really appreciate if you’d do the same for me. Will you do that for me?”
Gauge her reaction.
If she reacts poorly, that’s either a red flag or her values are substantially different than yours.
Remember from Tiny Habits to Get a Girlfriend that filtering is one of the habits to getting a good girlfriend.
MYPOV: Don’t let your eyes wander while talking to her. She will notice she is a priority vs that pretty woman walking by.
This one is a tough one for men and women instinctively know it.
Men are wired to reproduce and, believe it or not, are more influenced by looks (at least initially) than women are.
Let’s say in that restaurant you’re at with your girl, there’s a smoking hot waitress but she’s not serving your table.
Nonetheless, she’s in the vicinity and we all—men, women, on the grayscale—know she’s like a walking, talking, pretty-smelling billboard of sexual interest to you.
This is why, if you can keep your gaze off the temptation and on your girl, she’ll definitely notice that.
Your girl will feel more emotionally safe with you because you’ve displayed a small proof of loyalty—again, like most of the other guys she’s dated.
Hint: Women unconsciously notice all the proofs, both present and missing!
MYPOV: Repeat back what she says to you at the very least, listen and give thoughtful responses to her comments at the most.
Most of the guys she’s dated are terrible listeners.
They’re usually only half listening while evaluating when it’s their turn to speak and what they want to say next.
If you can accurately paraphrase what she’s said, that shows you’re actually paying attention.
Hint: Be careful about using her exact words or you’ll just sound like a parrot and it’ll come off as insincere.
She’s just shared with you that her favourite aunt passed away last year.
Bad listening, sits back: “Yeah, most of my family are dead now.” Or “My aunt is definitely not my favourite.” Moves on to another topic.
Mediocre listening: “Your aunt passed. I’m sorry to hear that, at least she’s not in pain.”
Good listening, leans forward: “That must be such an empty space in your life. What was it about your aunt that made her your favourite?”
Hint: People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
MYPOV: Wear clean clothes and shoes.
This may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how often men (and women) get lazy with their outfits.
Wearing clean clothes and shoes shows that you put some thought into showing up dressed to impress.
Dressing to impress doesn’t mean wearing a 3-piece suit if that’s not what the occasion calls for.
It does mean showing respect by putting some thought into being presentable.
Don’t show up to your dinner date at a fancy restaurant in the outfit you wore to the last guys’ TV night sporting event that still smells like Dorito dust.
And save your comfy, casual clothes, like sweats, for when you’ve already committed to each other and you’re having a lazy day together.
For now, this is about when you’re dating and working on winning each other over.
This habit also applies to the next one.
MYPOV: Be well groomed, hair, nails, etc don’t smell.
This should go without saying, but incase you missed the memo: shower, do your hair/beard (if you have either), clean your fingernails (and toenails—what if the socks come off?!), wear cologne or at minimum deodorant.
You have a date after work but it’s been a stressful day that ran late and your pits are filled with nasty, stress stink.
Instead of just showing up in a change of clothes with stinky pits like some other guys might do, you message her with this, “Hey, Jessica, work is running late and I need a few extra minutes to make sure I smell yummy for you. You deserve a fine smelling gentleman. I promise to make it up to you. X”
Don’t leave it until the last minute or she may be already at the venue waiting for you.
Giving her enough notice to adjust her plans proves your thoughtfulness, as does wanting to show up smelling fresh and clean.
Hint: These unforeseen and unexpected changes can be used as a test to see how reacts.
Hint: Once she’s passed your tests, be even more thoughtful by planning in advance for unexpected events and delays.
Too well-intentioned but off base guys act like brooding teenagers, thinking the whole serious mysterious mood is attractive to women.
And while it is true a sexy, serious look works better for less stereotypically attractive men on dating sites, in the real world, pouty pants man wins no points.
But you’ve got to smile genuinely. Women can sense a fake smile!
Be sincerely happy to see her and let that show up on your face.
Don’t worry, you won’t look weak or needy just because you’re happy to see her.
A genuine smile is contagious because of the mirror effect.
And, since physiology affects psychology, making her smile helps her release feel good endorphins that she then associates with you.
Hint: Make sure your teeth are clean and stain-free. Over-the-counter white strips will do the trick for most.
MYPOV: Be kind vs right.
Most of the guys she’s dated have been either too night or too right all. the. time.
On the surface kind vs right is a winner but I want to add a caveat.
Never compromise your values to go along with what she says or thinks to be kind.
Did you know that over 65% of arguments in relationships never get resolved?
Most of what we fight about isn’t really that important. It’s more about pride and ego.
But some things do matter and you should never sacrifice sharing your POV 😉 (point of view) to appease her.
Because displayed restraint and the food is yummy, you and the girl you’re dating are back in that restaurant with the hot server.
This time there’s a beautiful girl with a bunch of tattoos behind the bar.
Your girl says, “I think tattoos are trashy.”
You don’t exactly feel the same way so you say, “I think it depends on the girl who’s got them.”
From there you enter an interesting but respectful discussion on the pros and cons of tattoos on women.
In the end you declare, “I’d still date you if you never get a tat ;)”
You don’t care one way or the other but you’ve been truthful of where you stand and kind in the way you presented your opinions on the matter.
You don’t always need to be right but no high value woman wants a man who’s a door mat.
The key is to share your point of view with respect and kindness.
Hint: It’s ok to ask yourself if your difference of opinion on something is a dealbreaker.
Which brings us to…
MYPOV: Bring up things issues important to you in discussion asap. If you like what you hear carry on, otherwise move on.
This cannot be overstated!
And it’s something none of the guys she’s dated has even thought about which doesn’t make her feel emotionally safe.
In one of the modules of my WakeUP2Luv program, I give you a process to figure out what your true top five dealbreakers and dealmakers are.
Without knowing what your real dealbreakers are you may mistake falling in love with falling in lust.
As well, you may see pink flags as red flags when maybe there’s some room for you to grow.
You must have a foundation of compatible values, belief systems and long term goals to have a chance of long term relationship success.
But you don’t want a carbon copy of yourself or life will be stagnant and boring.
You believe couples who trust each other shouldn’t feel the need to look at each others’ phone, text messages or emails etc. and it’s a breech in privacy to do so.
You had a bad past experience with this.
She thinks couples need to be able to have access to see everything to be able to build trust and she wants all your passwords and browsing history.
She had a bad past experience with this.
You have to decide if this is a fundamental dealbreaker or a negotiable area.
Explore whether your beliefs are based on principle or a concern you may one day have something to hide.
Either way, you need to know if there’s wiggle room (growth) or it’s set in stone or you’re prepared to fight about it in future, because that’s a guarantee without compromise.
Maybe you decide you’d rather be open and make her feel safe because in reality you know you’ll never have anything that needs hiding.
Hint: Know and state your dealbreakers upfront. (Figure out your real dealbreakers with WakeUP2Luv.)
This last one was offered up by another viewer, Audio Elitist.
Audio Elitist: Make her bed in the morning.
Some of you may be balking at this one thinking, “Why should I make her bed?”
It’s not so much that you should make her bed—though, if it’s the first morning you’ve woken up next to her in her space, I’ll bet you’d be the first guy ever to do it.
Do you want to be like every other guy who’s pumped and dumped her or do you want to leave a good lasting impression?
When you make a girl’s bed the first morning after you’ve been together intimately she subconsciously notes your thoughtfulness.
Thoughtfulness falls into the category of potential long term mate.
She notices you’ve made her bed and surprised says, “What are you doing?”
You reply, “Treating you like the queen you are.”
Hint: It’s ok to go overboard on flattery once you’ve done the dirty as long as you’re not in needy mode.
There are also other ways to show thoughtfulness, like knowing and bringing her favourite wine when she invites you over for dinner, even if that dinner is take-out.
Or putting your dirty dishes in the dishwasher because she’s a clean freak.
Or remembering her cat’s name.
Any time you’ve paid extra attention and proven it through words or deeds, that’s thoughtfulness.
If she’s a keeper, thoughtfulness leads to reciprocity. She’ll want to do thoughtful things for you, too.
And if you want to know if she’s a keeper, watch my video 25 Signs She’s a Keeper!
So, if you pay attention to these 9 tiny habits when dating a girl that lead to huge results you will stand out from any other guy she’s dated.
If you want to get on the fast track to figuring out your dealbreakers and dealmakers and becoming the kind of man who gets the your dream girl you want check out my WakeUP2Luv program.
It provides a step by step guide to get the girl of your dreams.
But i have to warn you there is a lot of homework, some of it is uncomfortable, both at home and in the real world.
So… if you’re not committed to doing what it takes to change where you’re at then this is not the right time for you.
But if you are ready to do what it takes to get what you want, it can change your life—if you do the work.
Ready to change your love life?
Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)