Bipolar vs BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)
Wondering about bipolar vs BPD? What are the differences between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder (BPD)?
Are all women with bipolar or BPD narcissists?
Most importantly — is she worth it?
Before we get into the differences between bipolar vs BPD, please keep in mind I’m not a psychologist or therapist, so I did research.
Shout out to Dr. Tracey Marks, Dr. Ramany Durvasula and Dr. Todd Grande, trained experts in bipolar vs BPD and narcissistic personality disorder.
Let’s explore…
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the Bible of psychological disorders et al.) describes the differences between bipolar and borderline personality disorder as follows—
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
“BPD showed up as a pattern of unstable relationships, self-image and emotional expression marked by impulsivity, starting in early adulthood as exhibited in five or more of the following:”
Frantic Efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment.
Example: You postpone plans because something important has come up, but she thinks you’re avoiding her and don’t want to be with her anymore.
You’ve given no reason for her to feel this way at any time.
Pattern of unstable and intense relationships (romantic or not) alternating between idealization and devaluation extremes.
Example: She gushes about how amazing you are and how she wants to spend the rest of her life with you.
Not long after you do the slightest “wrong” thing and she calls you a “stupid loser” and questions being with you at all.
Identity disturbance marked by persistently unstable sense of self or self-image.
Example: She acts like a spoiled princess expecting you to spend all your money on her and acts like you’re lucky to be with her.
Not long after, her hair doesn’t go right or she gains a pound and acts overly dramatic claiming she’s worthless and freaking out that you’ll leave her because she’s fat.
She’s not fat. You did nothing to make her feel fat.
Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging.
Example: She goes on a big spending spree even though she’s lost her job and has no savings; gets drunk or does drugs and drives when she’s three sheets to the wind; overeats until she’s sick; or sleeps around recklessly not caring if you find out.
Maybe all of these! #blazingredflags
Recurrent “ultimate self harm” — suicidal behaviour, gestures, threats or self-mutilating behaviours
Example: She cuts herself on purpose or threatens suicide.
Unstable reactive moods that rollercoaster or Bungy jump all over the place, depending on if bipolar or BPD.
BPD Example: She goes into a rage with you for little things like being five minutes late even if you texted her to let her know and the last time this happened she simply acted happy when you got there.
Bipolar Example: Same as above but she goes from rage when she sees you to loving and affectionate five minutes later when you meet up with your friends like nothing happened.
I’m throwing in the bipolar example now because—surprise!—the traits overlap!
The big difference in bipolar vs BPD is in how long the mood lasts.
More on this shortly, for now let’s continue with the list…
Chronic feelings of emptiness.
Example: She starts a fight over nothing but the intensity of the fight makes her feel something so her anger escalates.
She may or may not feel justified in the moment, but she continues to escalate anger regardless.
Which brings us to…
Inappropriate or intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.
Example: She doesn’t only interrupt, raise her voice if you interrupt or walk away and slam a door; she may yell, scream, throw things or physically escalate violent behaviour.
Transient, stress-related, paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms aka micro-psychotic episodes.
Example: Even though you’ve given her no reason to wonder because you’re as loyal as the year 2020 is long, she constantly questions you and cross-examines your every statement like a lawyer because she’s sure you’re cheating.
You are not cheating.
Conversely:
Example: You got 100% caught by her with your hand in some other hoe’s cookie jar (you cheated on her), but even though normally she would fly off the handle, outwardly she doesn’t react at all instead behaving as though nothing happened.
If you bring up the incident to work through it or apologize, she may even act like you’re the crazy one making up stories about cheating.
Remember, in order for a clinical diagnosis of bipolar or borderline personality disorder, the person must have at least five of the above.
Bipolar vs BPD
The big difference with bipolar vs BPD is that with Bipolar Disorder these groups of behaviours may express and change within hours or less.
Whereas with borderline personality disorder, these behaviours can last a minimum of:
- Two weeks if in a depressive state
- One week if in a manic state
So, bipolar vs BPD is determined by whether the behaviours are episodic (bipolar) with quick mood swings or pervasive (BPD) with slower mood changes.
Both may struggle with abandonment issues and can be manipulative; and both can be narcissists but aren’t necessarily so. More on this in a moment.
Think of it like comparing a scary bungy jump adventure (bipolar) vs riding a scary rollercoaster (BPD).
This is why these type of people can be so appealing!
Women with bipolar or BPD are a thrill to be with—spontaneous, exciting, often charismatic—but there are healthier ways for you to get your kicks.
Bipolar vs BPD Treatment
Good news and less good news, my friend: both bipolar and BPD can respond positively to treatment but there’s a “but.”
Bipolar disorder is primarily treated with medication and sometimes therapy whereas BPD is primarily treated with a special form of therapy and sometimes medication.
Here’s the “but.”
If she’s also a narcissist, a personality disorder that (so far) has no cure, behaviours may be modified but the core of her doesn’t change. #highrisk
Some of you may want to go back and score yourself on these!
Questions to Ask Yourself
- Can she be helped?
- Will she get help?
- How can you support her in getting help?
But the most important question is…
Why are you with her?
Not all women are damaged goods.
Let’s read that again…
Not all women are damaged goods.
So, if you keep attracting (and being attracted to) emotionally damaged women—whether with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder (or any combo therein)—why is that?
If this is you, get WakeUP2Luv and do. the. work.
If you’ve experienced any of the examples above with a woman, then definitely watch some of the videos below.
Suggested Viewing
Red flags: https://youtu.be/mMrbcomCdk4
Damaged / Narcissistic Women: https://bit.ly/DamagedWomenplaylist
Self-sabotage: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQ8Q-8-X18dkmwwVhGpFygsimaRcTIbPi
Get the kind of woman you really want with my WakeUP2Luv program: https://members.wingmam.com/get-women/
If you found this post especially helpful, donations are always greatly appreciated. Or if you’d like to learn more about me and how I came to care about helping fellas with love, check out my memoir🙏: https://wingmam.com/donate-memoir/
You deserve the love and affection you crave, Sir!
xo Anna