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How to Test a Woman Ethically! (5 Tests to Use!)

How to Test a Woman

If you’re looking for the right woman, it’s imperative you accept that shit tests are part of the filtering process, so knowing how to test a woman ethically is critical to you future happiness with her.

No one likes being tested but the sooner we get over it the better we’ll feel because shit testing is here to stay.

Shit testing is part of a healthy filtering system so knowing how to test a woman (in an ethical way) provides both of you with useful info about each other.

Both men and women test each other — usually unconsciously — as a way of discovering the nature and character of the other person.

Shit testing (as opposed to teasing / flirting) reveals what a person is really like not what they want us to think they’re like or how they’re “acting.”

Make no mistake, 95% of people are filtering themselves at the beginning of a potential new relationship.

So, without further adieu, here is —

When to Shit Test a Woman

Before you randomly run out and practice how to test a woman.

You want to wait until the third date because testing can be a turnoff and you need to build up good points first or she may ditch and run.

Playful teasing, yes. Testing, not so much.

Before the third date you’re simply discovering if you get along and if you want to get to know her — not just her body — more.

If you’ve discovered before the third date that she’s not a keeper then there’s no need to test her.

If you’ve already decided she’s not girlfriend material and you’re simply seeing her again because you’re attracted to her and only want to have sex, there’s little need to put her through a test.

Shit tests are for the woman you might see a future with.

That’s because if you only have sex with someone, their character probably won’t matter much.

(Did you just have an “aha” moment? You’re welcome.)

But if you’re not the kind of guy who can have sex with a girl without developing feelings, then don’t have sex right away!

You may get attached to someone who’s totally wrong for you. (Maybe that’s already happened once or twice??)

If she’s your forever girl then do both of you a favour and get to know each other first.

And no, that isn’t anti-alpha behaviour! It’s just smart.

Okay, so she’s earned her right to a shit test by being amazing for at least two dates, now what?

The Ultimate Test

Let her pay for the third date.


I shit you not.

You’re going to either suggest splitting the check or if she grabs for it then let her pay — or almost pay.

I did a video on WingmamTV on whether or not men should pay for dinner. The summary of that video is:

  1. Men should pay for the first date.
  2. Women should at least reach for the check on the second date.
  3. Ladies ought to either pay for the third date or for dessert or offer to make dinner next time.

I won’t go into the details of why I believe in the above here because you can find more details in that video (at the end of this post).

But the gist of the ultimate test isn’t to actually make her pay or to be fair or to honour women’s lib or any of that crap.

It’s meant only to see how she reacts.

Her reaction will tell you a lot about what kind of person she is when you get past her sexy exterior.

  • Does she become visibly angry?
  • Does she make a disparaging remark?
  • What does her body language say?
  • Does she refuse to kiss you even though you were making out after the last date?
  • She could be a taker.


  • Does she thank you for letting her pay?
  • Will she offer to make dinner next time?
  • Does she simply pay without acting like a diva?
  • She could be a keeper!

Now, if you’re a traditional man and can’t stand a woman paying for your meal, don’t let her follow through.

But before you grab the bill away, at least see her reaction.

Then at the last minute, you can say something like, “You know I think it’s a sweet gesture that you’re willing to pay, but I’d feel a lot better if you’d let me.” And then take the bill.

Do not tell her you’re testing her! For Baby Jesus sake, don’t tell her that until after your wedding day.

No one likes being tested, we simply all need it and I guaran-f’ing-tee she’s testing you, too, Sir.

In fact, if she’s the one who offered to pay that in and of itself might be a test, dude, to see if you’d let her pay!

And her reason may be to see if you support women’s lib or to see if you’re a stingy and glib, so …

If you think it’s cool for her to pay — let her pay.

And if you don’t think it’s cool for her to pay — don’t let her pay.

If you want the real right girl for you — YOU gotta get real, too.

Note: If you intend on letting her pay, make sure you choose a super affordable venue.

xo AJ

p.s. Road Map (with markers) to the real right girl here #WakeUP2Luv:


25 Signs She’s a Keeper:

How to Tease Her video:


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Cheers to your success in life and love!

xo AJ


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  1. Wingmam…I greally, really like and appreciate your site. Thank you sooo much. Is the price of your wonderful knowledge being grossed out by. the innuendo.

  2. I think the underlying assumptions here are fascinating. Why wait until the third date? This is female thinking. Cement the dysfunction first, then begin actual communication? Are you serious? Are women really that childish emotionally?

    The other massive underlying assumption in most of your advice is that men need to do 99.9% of the work in dating. What does the women actually bring to the table? Even for the first three dates?

    Men want women who are not fat.
    Men want women who are fun and playful (as you stated in one of your videos).

    As a man on a first date you can figure this out in about 2 minutes. If she can’t deliver on these two things (99.9% of women) then why waste your time jumping through hoops? That’s all it is. Men jumping through endless hoops.

  3. Love to listen/watch, you have such a logical way of kicking our hearts. I am 80 (widower) and am attracting likes on dating sites, but answering those inquiries honestly, usually renders NO reply at all, so I’ve quit the sites and am learning from you and other ‘coaches’, Thanks, Jim

    1. Thank you for watching my videos, Jim! You may want to watch some of the videos in my Online Dating playlist here. And/or consider getting my Double Your Online Dating video training here. It’s $10US.
      All the best! xo AJ

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