Is it really true that women don’t care about you?
Let’s look at Matt Cross’ channel: The33Secrets and go through his video, Women Don’t Care About You!
This video was requested by AtomuS and David S and Matt’s The33Secrets channel has been suggested for review by many more.
Full Disclosure: I know Matt personally. He’s a PUA and good guy!
Nonetheless, I’m providing my honest opinion on his video: Women don’t care about you!
And I’ll be dropping some surprising truth bombs you won’t find anywhere else on why some PUA can’t get or keep a good woman.
Let’s get right into because there’s a lot of juicy stuff in this one!
Matt starts out by saying it’s just a fact of female nature women can’t care about you but you shouldn’t hate them for it.
He says don’t get bitter about it.
It’s like a bee stings, it may annoy you but you don’t hate the bee for its nature. ~ Matt Cross, The33Secrets
At the end of the day women only care about themselves…and their own survival.
If she’s a good woman, and yes, they’re rare or at least difficult to find these days, she can care about you.
For real, but hear me out…
…she will always care about her own survival the most—that should be expected.
But her survival is influenced by how safe she feels with you, physically and emotionally.
If her survival is threatened by your actions or inactions then yes, she will leave you.
More on this shortly.
Matt says women don’t care about how much time or money you’ve invested in them, they only care about “seeking out the highest value male.”
This time I say, it depends.
If she’s a good woman and has chosen you and you don’t start sliding backward in the expectations you’ve set up for her then she’ll have no reason to swing to the next branch.
Unless, she’s emotionally damaged or not ready to settle down. You want to avoid those ones!
Matt says, “The overwhelming majority of women …are hypergamous.”
Which means even he thinks there are some exceptions! 😉
Hypergamy is basically the innate need to level up. Basically.
So, we agree there are exceptions and we likely disagree (slightly) on what that percentage looks like.
I’ll tell you why we may disagree later when I share my thoughts on why there are more PUAs who end up with highly hypergamous women.
In the meantime, Matt says women only care about the value and stimulation you can provide her.
Well, I do agree on this because value encompasses a lot of what a woman needs but it’s not all about financial value like what you may be thinking but…
Yes, women do typically need higher levels of stimulation in relationships than men do. On average. ~ Your Wingmam
Don’t hate the bee for its nature!
And because men are built to compete, chase and conquer, once you acquire the prize—the woman you’re after—you often get a little too comfy and not only do you not provide new stimulation but stop providing the stimulation that attracted her to begin with —
—the expectation you set up.
Yes, women also do this.
Be honest, when you were pursuing her you pulled out all the stops with compliments, gifts, attention and whatever else you thought would impress her…
… and, once you got her a lot of those things waned over time and she started feeling taken for granted.
A woman who feels taken for granted is a woman who starts to look elsewhere for the things you provided in the beginning.
That’s not levelling up, that’s levelling across to what you baited her with.
Reality Land: Relationships require ongoing effort, forever after.
So, you can either make the effort to keep the one you’ve got or make the effort to find another woman.
Or, of course, you can bow out.
Back to Matt…
Matt says not to be surprised when “out of nowhere” she leaves you or cheats on you.
Ok, now you know, based on what you just learned, unless she’s damaged goods, it’s not usually out of nowhere.
Often she’s giving you a tonne of hints, nagged you to within an inch of your life to change, or outright told you what she needs and you didn’t take her seriously… because you’re comfortable with where the relationship is at.
Women need more stimulation in relationships than most men.
If you want the honey, don’t hate the bee.
Little joke for you… why do women live longer than men? Because we nag you to death! 😉
Anyway, as Matt and I both agree, women do need at the very least, the level of stimulation you provided in the beginning, if not more.
The other possibility is you’ve put her on a pedestal and allowed her to treat you so poorly she’s lost all respect for you.
If you lose your self-respect, she will soon follow. As in, no respect = no attraction.
Again, in this case, it’s still something that’s no longer there IF it’s because you let her put your balls in her purse.
Now, I’m not saying the way many women ask for what they need is appropriate or effective.
It’s definitely not!
Nagging and being bitchy is not an effective way of getting your needs met.
And holding out on sex or using it as a weapon is about the worse thing you can do to a man.
Boy bees like honey, Hun.
If you want to get your needs met, boys and girls, y’all must stop taking each other for granted, stop punishing each other and instead use more effective ways to get what you want in a win-win way.
I covered some of that in my video How to Resolve Conflict with An Angry Woman, which I’ll link at the end.
Now, before I share with you why many PUAs end up having these experiences, even with high value women, let’s go through the rest of The33Secrets Women Don’t Care About You video.
Matt says that as soon as women are finished using you, they move on.
“They just use you… Look at Instagram.” Basically, you supply her ego and they don’t care about you.
Those aren’t high value women!
They’re narcissists. Highly filtered narcissists.
If that’s where you’re shopping that’s what you’re signing up for.
Matt says women just use you for attention and validation.
Even if she’s your girlfriend or wife, but especially the hot girls, “8s, 9s and 10s are community property… enjoy your turn.”
If she’s high maintenance instead of high value, I totally agree.
But the girls who are next-door 10s aren’t the same breed as the 10s on IG.
The more effort she puts into looking like a 10 physically vs being a 10 in character and personality, the more likely she’s shallow, selfish, insecure and overtly hypergamous.
Let me say that again in a slightly different way, if she’s more focused on her appearance than her character, there’s a greater chance of her not really caring about you.
Matt says when women get over 30 their market value drops, they start to lose their looks and they start getting ready to settle down.
But then they’re no longer hot.
So, here’s where I’m going to mention why PUAs typically have more experiences with overtly hypergamous women.
If you’re only dating 8s, 9s, and 10s in their early to mid 20s, which a lot of PUAs do, those women are not usually in the market to settle down, especially if you meet her in a bar or at a college party or on a swipe left/right hookup site.
They’re in their exploratory phase!
Even if you’re the most amazing guy, she hasn’t had enough life and relationship experience or time to appreciate how amazing you are.
She’s not ready to commit even if she can see how amazing you are.
In her mind, because she’s in high demand at the moment, she doesn’t realize the tap will run dry later.
Now, there’s another BIG reason PUAs experience higher rates of overt hypergamy than regular dudes and I’ma share that with you in a minute.
Stay tuned because it’s a HUGE but never talked about factor.
But I want to see if Matt mentions it in his video, so let’s continue. If he doesn’t mention this, it could be his blind spot.
Everyone’s got a blind spot!
Matt says, “After 30, she’ll probably stay with you as long as you’re one of those beta providers.”
We mostly agree on this point, as well.
There are a few masculine and/or dominant women who don’t mind bringing home the bacon if you’re the one frying it up!
But, despite feminism, most women don’t want to be the main breadwinner in the family, no matter how hypocritical and sexist that may be.
Matt say, “All those years where she’s used you like an emotional tampon will pay off when she’s in her 30s and has lost her looks and she’s hitting the wall. That’s when she will cash in her chips and she’ll be ready for a thirsty beta male…”
I say, unless she is dominant, she will settle for a beta but hope for an alpha.
And it’s in these cases of settling for the beta she eventually loses enough respect to start looking elsewhere or be tempted by an alpha male who shows up “out of the blue.”
The best thing you can do (for you) is to be whoever your truly are. If you’re beta, be beta, own it. If you’re alpha, be alpha, own it.
What I often see happening is some men think they’re beta when really they simply lack self-esteem and confidence with women to be their natural alpha selves.
Matt then talks about red pill and blue pill but going into that discussion is enough for a whole other video, so I’ll leave that part out but it is worthwhile so I encourage you to watch Matt’s video, Women Don’t Care About You.
Okay, now here’s the part where I share why so many PUAs experience higher rates of hypergamy.
At the time Matt released Women Don’t Care About You, he says in the video he had a rotation of six different women he was seeing at the same time.
Ask yourself this: what are the chances a true self-respecting, high value woman ready to settle down with a good man would share him with five other women?
Pausing for emphasis!
Do you think she’s going to be loyal to a PUA who’s sleeping with a bunch of other women or do you think she’ll be keeping her options open?
If she is a keeper and wants monogamy, even if she hoped she could win his loyalty with her high value, when she sees she can’t, she will move on to someone who can.
Think about that.
So, Matt thinks women don’t care about you but how can a high value woman invest her emotions in a man who’s investing his penis in a bunch of other women?
No self-respecting high value woman would.
Matt also says sometimes he calls them, sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes, he’s available, sometimes he’s not. Sometimes, he’s really touchy feely and affectionate and sometimes he’s not.”
He calls it an emotional rollercoaster.
Now, I will agree women are more attracted to a man—at least initially—when his feelings about her are unclear.
If she’s a keeper and knows he’s seeing other women, even if she’s turned on by him, her emotions toward him are guarded and dampened—not wet in a good way—and the hot and cold routine just gets cold.
Matt says he’s not doing these things on purpose, it’s just who he is now, which is what I talked about in my other review videos.
When behaviour continues for a long time, you rewire your brain.
You’ll continue to get more of the same experiences because you’ll continue to do the things that got them.
And those experiences lead to evidence that support those biases.
Rinse and repeat.
But wait, yes, there’s even more!
This video was from a couple years ago, and Matt’s said many times he’s not ready to settle down, so this system works for him, at least for now.
In the video Matt also says, “I don’t live my life for them. I live my life for me…That’s attractive and what you should be doing… That’s when women will want to follow your lead.”
I completely agree, it’s not healthy living your life for your partner, and at then same time, if you don’t want to lose a good woman, you both must take each other into consideration.
Matt says you shouldn’t compliment a woman unless you’re an alpha.
I’d like to tweak this one, don’t suck up to her using compliments, acts of service or gifts, especially if you think she’s higher value than you.
But also don’t take her for granted.
Basically, Matt and I agree (and these are my words): if you’re giving because you don’t feel worthy, she’ll see you as not worthy.
We also agree you shouldn’t make any woman the centre of your universe.
If you put her on a pedestal, she will look down on you. ~ Dr Robert Glover, author of the book, No More Mr Nice Guy
Matt says, “She cares about the value you bring into her life.”
I agree. Just like she’s in your life for the value she brings to you!
People are in relationships because of the value they bring to each other.
Matt and I agree you should be your priority, stay on your path, focus on your mission and never make her more important than that.
That is attractive… As long as you’re not bitter. And…
If you want a good woman to stick around you’ve got to meet some of her needs which include value, stimulation and, for high value women who are ready to settle down without settling, loyalty. ~ Your Wingmam
From what I know about Matt, when he’s ready to settle down without settling, there’ll be a keeper waiting for him.
And, if you want to know the other reason PUAs don’t end up with keepers, watch my other review videos below!
Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)