How to Show Interest Without Being Needy!

The Secret Formula! How to Show Interest Without Being Needy

The secret formula for how to show interest without being needy when it comes to women is simple: safety + stimulation.

You see a girl you’re attracted to but aren’t sure if she wants you to approach her and even if she is showing signs of interest, you don’t know how to approach without seeming needy or creepy.

If you watched my video on how to flirt with a woman after you’ve already met her, you know teasing is one of the 3 Ts of flirting: teasing, touch and tension.

But how do you tease her if you haven’t even met her yet?

What if you’re at that coffee shop or the gym or walking down the street and see a girl you’re attracted to?

You need to do something quick or forever lose your chance.

This has probably already happened to you, am I right??

Let’s look at an example of how to approach a woman you’re attracted to and how to show interest without being needy so you don’t miss an opportunity again!

Approaching Women

The first keys to approaching a woman you’re attracted to and how to show interest without being needy or creepy is body language, but it’s not entirely what you’re thinking.

Unless, of course, she’s obviously not interested. If so, abort mission.

Body Language

If you’ve watched my videos for awhile you know women need to feel safe AND stimulated.

So, how to show interest without being needy or creepy must include both confident body language and comfortable body language.

What do I mean by this?


Let’s say she’s checking you out from over there.

Over there is somewhere close enough you can make eye contact but not so close everyone would hear you if you said something to her.

You can playfully use the old “you looking at me” gesture. See example in video.

Depending on what your true personality is you can be goofy or mysterious but the key is exaggeration. More on this in a minute.

If she’s not interested, she’ll either look away, turn away or gesture “no.” No big deal.

But, if she is potentially interested, she may smile, giggle, blush, look down or look away in embarrassment but probably look back at you.

And if she indicates, “no” in a respectful way, you can make an exaggerated sad face.

Key Point!

Exaggeration and nonchalance shows you’re not thrown off your game or affected by rejection.

This shows the confidence part of body language. (We’ll get to the comfy part in a minute.)


Humour Eases Tension

Humour eases tension and awkward embarrassment.

But there’s a time when you don’t want to reduce the tension and I’ll share that later.

If she’s rude, brush it off with a laugh. Never let them get the better of you by thinking they’ve had a negative impact on you.

Never let ‘em see you sweat!

Laugh just loud enough she might hear and you’ll keep your power. See example in video.

Key Point!

When flirting, always stay in your masculine, unaffected, confident frame.

Your attitude: Her loss, not mine!

She might be on the rag or maybe she’s just nasty.

But, if she has a positive reaction, nod or wave her over. See example in video.

If her interest is high; she’ll come over, but if her game is good she may wave you to come to her.

Either is good!

If she’s only sort of interested or if she’s shy, she may shake her head “no” but look back at you again several times.

More on her signs of interest later.

It’s ok to go to her if you’re confident about it in your facial expressions and body language just don’t sneak up on her.

Why “The Wave Over” Approach Works

Women are attracted to men who display confidence, bravery, and risk-taking.

This why women go for bad boys and why Rom-Coms still exist!

Romantic comedies with men as the lead are about a man being brave and taking risks to develop confidence and overcome obstacles, often internal, to get the girl.

In real life, if you are a man she doesn’t know who she’s potentially curious about and who displays the traits of confidence, bravery, and risk-taking that provides stimulation.

What do women need?

Right, to feel safe and to be stimulated emotionally, mentally, physically—in that order.

Again, like I’ve mentioned in other videos, unless she’s primed herself and you’re just there to satisfy her needs. But that’s a different circumstance (like at the club).

In normal circumstances, like back at the coffee shop (or gym or on the street) by being playful from “over there” you’re a safe distance away.

And by waving her over, you show confidence.

What about the comfort part?

Comfortable Body Language

If you casually go over to her, when invited, she feels safe and automatically comfortable in your presence.

A casual approach and lack of self-conscious body movements also makes her feel safe.

Key Point!

Women are intuitive and mirror your feelings. If you’re awkward, she’ll feel awkward.

So you you get your fine butt over there and apply the next two Ts of effective flirting: touch and tension.

Because you don’t want to get this far and then screw it up, especially if it’s someone you’ll have to see again.

You have to know how, where and when to touch her to make her feel safe but also stimulated.

And you’ll need to maintain a level of sexual tension or the only place you’ll be slipping into is the friend zone.

So if you want to know more about how to show interest without being needy and how to flirt with a woman you’re attracted to to make her instantly want more, watch that video now.

And, to know if she is interested, watch my video 25 Signs She’s Interested or Flirting, which provides visual examples from super subtle to overt and obvious.

If you want advice please post it in a short comment on my newest YouTube video. (I answer short comments first.)

Or if you need some one-on-one help, click here.

Thanks for being here and God bless!

Watch Next!

25 Signs She’s Interested:
3 Ts of Flirting:
What it means when she looks at you:
Chasing vs pursuing video:
Flirting / Touching playlist:
Friend zone playlist:

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)

Leave a Comment:

John Nockels says December 21, 2021

Think this will work at a Church Social, or a Retirement Home?

    Anna Jorgensen says December 22, 2021

    If there is interest on her part and you keep it light and playful, it can work almost anywhere! (I can’t think of where it wouldn’t.) But in settings of a common interest, you can also just walk right on over and simply say, “You look like a friendly person so I thought I’d come say ‘hi.’ My name is John.” Don’t ask her name. If she offers her name, she’s likely open to you; if not, she’s either absent-minded or not that interested. Hope this helps!

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