Here’s a short and sweet welcome to the new year video based on a comment from J on pickup artist tactics (do they really work?)…
I’ve had an interesting week. I was staying with a friend of mine who’s a pick up artist (PUA).
He says you shouldn’t express your interest in women and, instead, you should get them to chase you.
He uses stories and routines to start conversations with women.
Then he uses pickup techniques like negs and demonstrations of high value to try and make them interested in him.
I’m not into this method at all.
I think what he teaches is more about putting on a performance for women instead of actually talking to them like a real human being.
I’m curious to what you think about it?
You have an accurate impression of the PUA community.
It can be effective for getting laid, but doesn’t lead to a quality relationship and many guys eventually become jaded and bitter at the kind of women they meet.
PUA tactics don’t work on truly high value women in the long run and the men who’ve learned the PUA skills often don’t realize they have to unlearn those some of strategies to be effective in getting a great girlfriend.
Many PUAs eventually end up addicted to the game of pick up but unsatisfied in their relationships with women, never having something deep and meaningful.
It’s like a drug addiction.
Feels good at the time, but they’re left feeling empty later and looking for their next fix.
Or they long for someone more deep and meaningful but because of their many shallow experiences, don’t believe it exists.
It’s best to balance being a good guy from my teachings with the confidence one gets from some PUA approach strategies, like exposure therapy.
Yea, I agree with you. Someone else I know is a dating and relationships coach.
He says pickup turns guys into compensatory narcissists who attract messed up and even sociopathic women as they also like to play games etc.
Personally, I always go direct.
I don’t have the patience or energy to play games or be tactful. I prefer to get to the point asap. I even met my second last girlfriend on the metro. Lol
I can’t go into much detail about my brief experience with my friend but your suspicions are accurate.
However, one thing which stands out about him is how kind hearted he is.
He really has a big heart.
I get the impression he got into pickup and developed his method to find love.
However, because he is so game orientated he’s unable to open up and be vulnerable and because of this he lacks the connection or love he’s always craved.
That’s my theory anyway.
I don’t think Pickup is entirely bad though.
Even though guys who followed these methods may have started off on the wrong path, I think eventually most have found the right way.
Excellent observations, all around!
I know more than one well-known PUA who’s experienced the same thing.
All the PUAs I know personally are decent guys who ended up on a race track but eventually realize what they really want is a Sunday drive in the country… with few straightaways. 😉
If pickup artist tactics aren’t working for you anymore, it’s okay to change direction.
Bottom line: Everyone wants love but there are more and less effective ways of finding it.
May you find and keep the woman of your dreams this year!
Lots of love,
If you want to wake up to love in 2022, get WakeUP2Luv!
Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)