A Fearless Man Is Amused, Calm, Curious Not Cruel When She Tests You
In one of my videos, Why She Evaluates You and Why She Tests You, you discovered why even good women test you.
Whether a woman consciously or unconsciously tests you or evaluates your behaviours, you always handle it the same way.
You stay grounded and in your frame as a man.
Nothing and no one pushes you off balance.
You do this for you and, as a side effect, it makes her feel safe with you.
A woman won’t stay with a man she feels unsafe with unless she’s emotionally damaged.
But, when she does test you, you don’t punish her or treat her poorly.
Nooo.
Relationships require give-and-take and sometimes compromise.
If you’re not up for that, you’re better to stay single.
Compromise Within Your Frame
Compromise doesn’t mean ditching your friends when you’ve made a commitment to them.
Instead, a compromise might look like saying, “How about we go for a late brunch tomorrow so I can brag about my winnings ;)”
Or…
“How about we invite some of the boys over next weekend so you can meet them.”
The unspoken meaning being, “So you can see they’re good guys not trying to sabotage our relationship or get me into trouble.”
When to Be Playful and When to Be Serious
Sometimes, she’ll say something that’s simply meant to get a reaction.
“Are you going to the bar to pick up chicks?”
Unless this is actually true, this is outrageous.
Never lose your cool!
If you’re not sure she’s serious, ignore it or be playful about it. Tease her.
Example
Let’s say John’s going out with his friends Friday night and doesn’t know about Ashley’s past with cheaters so he has no idea about her loyalty concerns.
He might say, “Unless you can drive the get-away car, it’s not a good idea for you to join us.” 😉
This assumes John and his cohorts are not actually criminals.
Hint: Don’t be a criminal!
But this is a playful way of putting Ashley off.
Then, if she doesn’t laugh or persists in wanting his time or to join them, he can follow up with a more serious response.
“I’m committed to boys’ night but don’t worry, there are no crazy shenanigans you need to worry about.”
Key Point!
She might still be a bit upset but feelings and emotions are okay!
You’re allowed to have them, too.
It’s how she expresses them that counts and how you express them that counts.
Overall, she’ll trust you more when you stick to your beliefs, your values and your commitments.
Even if—sometimes, especially if—it doesn’t immediately benefit her.
Because she will know she can count on you in the future.
You are a man of your word.
Respond Don’t React.
A woman feels safe with a man who can manage his emotions.
Don’t let her get under your skin.
Never let them see you sweat!
At the same time, don’t let yourself become indifferent to her.
Indifference shows her you don’t care. That won’t make her feel safe.
You want to care, but not too much.
And never at the expense of your beliefs, values, and commitments.
You have to always be willing to walk away from the deal if it’s a bad deal.
Want more real-life examples of her tests, why she tests you, and how and why you should test her?
Watch some of the videos in my Shit Test playlist here!
Thanks for being here and God bless!