Why Women Love Bad Boys Over Nice Guys | What Do Women REALLY Want?
Why do women love bad boys over good men and all the nice guys available?
What do women really want?
This is a topic that’s been debated for years.
Let’s explore the 5 interesting insights Jeffrey, a typical nice guy, learned from Jessica, a truly nice girl he’s had a crush on forever…
… about why nice girls go for bad boys and the 5 things Jeffrey did to overcome these obstacles and get his dream girl…
… and how you can, too!
Why Women Love Bad Boys
Jessica is in her thirties and has just gone through a nasty breakup with her latest boyfriend.
She feels like she’s wasted her time on yet another relationship with a bad boy who was exciting to be with but was always canceling plans to hang out with his friends and never making her a priority.
Jessica is constantly drawn to bad boys that seem to come and go from her life. She can’t help but wonder why it’s so hard for her to settle down with a nice guy like Jeffrey, who’s always there when she needs him.
One night, Jeffrey asks Jessica why she’s attracted to the wrong type of guy instead of him.
Jessica thought about it for a while before responding with these five reasons why she has trouble saying yes to him or other good men…
Unpredictable
First, Jessica feels like bad boys are more unpredictable than nice guys because they aren’t afraid of taking risks or challenging conventions.
This kind of spontaneity appeals to her even though she realizes she isn’t always that adventurous herself.
Having someone take the lead makes her feel more adventurous.
Confidence
Second, bad boys often epitomize confidence and strength that are attractive to Jessica’s independent nature.
If you’re wondering why women love bad boys, well…
…women are drawn to confidence and strength, both inner and outer because it makes us feel safe.
Social
Third, it seems like bad boys usually have a more active social life than the average nice guy and are filled with new experiences and endless possibilities for adventure.
Women need to feel stimulated, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
And it takes the pressure off Jessica to be his whole social life and entertainment.
Leaders
Fourth, bad boys are often unencumbered by traditional rules and expectations which gives them an air of mystery and makes them intriguing.
One of the main reasons why women love bad boys is because they seem like natural leaders.
Jeffrey’s seemingly mundane opinions always following the crowd don’t inspire Jessica.
Challenge
Finally, it came down to the fact Jessica really likes being challenged intellectually—which in her experience bad boys could provide better than most nice guys out there.
“They can banter. Sometimes a girl needs to be challenged!”
Although these reasons pose a challenge for Jeffrey he decides there are things he can do without compromising his integrity or becoming someone he isn’t.
He realizes the reasons women love bad boys aren’t actually as crazy as he originally assumed.
It’ll require him to get out of his comfort zone for sure, but he knows he’ll never find a great girlfriend like Jessica if he doesn’t try something new.
For example, he can:
- Become more spontaneous in his daily routine by randomly taking up activities like rock climbing or skydiving on weekends.
- Start working out regularly in order to feel better and build his confidence.
- Join some clubs or take up dancing classes in order to boost his social circle.
- Look into pushing boundaries in certain areas such as trying different cuisines or traveling abroad.
- Invest more time into developing his intellect by reading more books or attending lectures on new topics outside of his comfort zone.
Jeffrey knows enough to not try to negotiate with or convince Jessica to give him a chance before proving himself so he decides to show her instead of telling her.
He starts with the more straightforward stuff like taking a different route to work to switch things up and going to the gym.
The Change
At first, Jessica is hesitant about seeing if Jeffrey can change enough for her liking but it doesn’t take long to notice Jeffrey’s new level of confidence. He seems a lot happier, too.
Not only does Jeffrey become more confident and spontaneous over time but he also starts initiating conversations about interesting topics which makes their conversations much livelier than they used to be before.
Jeffrey really starts feeling his new confidence and soon he notices he no longer feels awkward or nervous around Jessica.
In fact, he’s starting to notice her flaws and while he’s still attracted to her, he’s no longer intimated by her.
He starts bantering with her and teasing her playfully without being mean.
One day Jeffrey surprises Jessica by arranging an impromptu rock climbing session (something Jessica never expected from him in the past!)
“As friends, of course.” Wink
Ultimately, what wins Jessica over entirely is how Jeffrey manages not only to surprise but also challenge her intellectually without coming across as too intense or condescending—something most bad boys do because they lack emotional maturity.
While there are many qualities that attract women like Jessica to bad boys over nice guys—with some effort (and patience!), it’s possible for nice guys like Jeffrey to make themselves just as attractive—if not even more so!—without resorting to dubious tactics or undesirable bad boy behaviour.
In Summary…
Why women love bad boys over good men or nice guys actually makes sense.
Bad Boys…
- Are exciting and unpredictable.
- Have a lot of confidence. Remember: being too nice comes across as boring, creepy or manipulative.
- Are often spontaneous and don’t play it too safe. They’re fun!
- Are usually funny because they’re not afraid to offend.
- Challenge women in a way that turns them on and makes them want to change those bad boys into good men.
Ultimately, women want a good man with a bit of an edge who can make them feel cherished, protected, and stimulated.
And a great way to show her your edge is to learn how to tease her in such a way that instantly sparks attraction.
To find out how to do that, watch my video: The 3 T’s of Great Flirting! How to Tease Her.
Thanks for being here, God bless!
Hello Anna,
I like watching your videos and find them very useful.
Keep up the great work!
Thank you so much for watching my videos, glad you find them useful! 🙂
Dear Anna – taking the time to respond to another of your bouncy articles (I responded earlier at
https://wingmam.com/blog/2023/01/22/what-modern-women-really-want-in-a-man-alpha-and-beta/ )
…and I'm happy that you're allowing posts, I like being pen pals with you because a) you're such a cutie pie and b) you have a flair for writing from different men/women viewpoints. So I'm going comment on this "Why Women Love Bad Boys" article too as it may give some guys (and girls) something useful to operate from.
Being "upper middle age" but still running around like a 30-year old, a professional making 100k+ and having had a LOT of upsey/downsey experience with women in my life I can speak to your "girls like bad boys but don't want to be abused" summary. That that is a living paradox is just typical of humans and especially modern humans, but it IS navigable and I'm proof, even though I have gotten a lot of lovin' for being a gentle "sweetheart". Reading your article, which I think is dead-on for nailing the bad-boy attraction factor, I had to look inward for a minute and ask myself "I wonder if I'M something of a 'bad boy' at all? ( in spite of the fact that I have never struck a woman myself (though I've been exasperated enough to come very damn close)?". And the answer is: Yes, but what are the subtleties of being "bad" (i.e. daring, without having to punch people and spend repeated nights in jail for fighting with the cops). How about:
– doing dangerous drugs for years on end
– making big life moves in the face of massive possible fallout (financially and otherwise), like: ripping out all social roots and moving to a new city/region all by yourself; complete career change after major education gauntlets; taking on big debt after good calculations to expand something (house, business, other major life enhancement), and then doing what it takes to maintain that debt for the long-term success; the courage to do major personality/habit adjustments (i.e. admit you've been and idiot and really change to a better person, like discontinuing dangerous drugs)…etc, etc. I have done ALL of this, multiple times in some cases, all of which got me admiration and support from different people, not least my current wife/GF.
– being a performer (musician), which takes nerve all by itself, damn terrifying sometimes, especially doing "hard" stuff
– facing someone down who has been dominating your life in a bad way (i.e. "toeing the line" for a possible bloody time), to get them the f**k out of your life. I personally view this as a single major "spine indicator" in anyone's life, girl or guy. To continue for weeks/months/years with some lousy rat in your life, making you miserable, and yet not coming up with the guts and the "what do I have to lose?" attitude to kick them out shows for sure that you ain't got the stuff to be "bad". And of course a big nod to the countless women who are abused and trapped in marriages, etc, for economic reasons and kids. One's heart can only go out to them, but should they get a real opportunity, there's no excuse for not getting out the hatchet and do the surgery!
– being a rock climber (haha, I haven't, but I ALMOST sky-dived). Maybe skiiing is a "bad boy" sport, like motorcycles. But I could never justify a broken arm/leg/back just to do a sport…I gotta work and play music.
What do you think of the level of "bad boy" in above items? To communicate that combo of traits through a dating app profile is near impossible which is why I've given up on them after five years of slogging through all the big ones, and some little ones. But they can being observed up close easy enough, after a couple dates/day trips, etc.
But another odd paradox occurred to me: that a guy sick of a relationship where he's having to defend himself for "not being bad enough" and finally having the balls to say "I'm ending this! Bye!" can flare up the "bad boy" attraction! ( "Wow! He's a bad boy after all!"…she's thinking…"Wait! Don't leave me!"…she starts screaming ). I can't help but believe this is true, because I went through it, for months. I don't know if this woman actually was computing in her head that I wasn't showing enough "bad" for her, or just what, but in spite of all the ridiculous storms and b.s. and everything I kept pointing out was wrong and why we didn't belong together, when things would hit the breaking point (every two weeks, on the clock), I'd get a flood of tears and begging to keep the thing going. No way to live.
My deep thoughts on the different sides of "bad boy". But taking the opportunity to echo the last paragraph a bit, I have to say that I am fed up to my back teeth with the excuses I see everywhere for women (and men, I'm sure, girls) being able to just dramatize and "dump" on their supposed love-partner because they're "emotional" (you are guilty of this Anna, so sorry). I have news for you: EVERYONE is "emotional". Humans have emotions, unless they're dead physically and/or spiritually from being too beaten down by life for too long. But if you still can claim a greater-than-70%-or-so of reserves in the sanity bucket, you should be able to maintain a level head and respect your partner enough to not use them as your emotional dumping ground. This has galled me for years. I used to tell above tears-n-begging girlfriend that I would be downright ashamed of myself if I gushed out the sort of slop at her that she did at me. Do you do that at work? When you feel "righteously emotional" do you just dump all over your boss or your co-workers? No. Because it's "not allowed" and bad for survival. Then why do you think it's all ok to do with the person you supposedly "love" and who is trying to support you? The only case where someone has the license to just freely dramatize and explode is if one person in the relationship just won't listen, for years, and the deadlock can't be broken. Which a usual factor. But to just torture each other with "I'm not feeling good, I'm going to take it out on you" is "not allowed". For sane people.
There's my take. Taking the liberty to repost the article from the last post. This is where we get to when there's too much "badness.". Or maybe not enough of the right kind? No sex, no dating, people opting out of talking to each other and talking to their robots instead.
Where will we be in another 50 years of this nonsense? Send me a postcard, addressed to "Heaven". And "Hell". I'm a bad boy after all. Thanks Anno for the platform.