Fix Your Picker and Never Pick Fixer-Uppers Again
Aka Why relationships fail.
Whether you’ve experienced several relationships or whether you’re a starving virgin looking for your first piece of tail—no disrespect to said tail or tail-seeker—and you’re single right now, consider yourself fortunate!
I’m about to save you from landing a lousy partner and a long string of loneliness and heartache. (You’re welcome.)
Whether or not you got the gal in the past and whether or not you were the one to leave the gal in the past, you are the one that did not choose well. End of short story.
New Short Story
Let’s say you go from broke to winning five million bucks, but you must invest it all in one portfolio. Do you do some research and invest wisely, or do you throw it all in the hands of Sexy Broker Babe?
Hint: You may get a date, but you could also lose all your money, and if that broker is a woman, you’ll lose her too, because she’ll know you’re a knucklehead with finances. Not hot, Hun.
But here we all are, ready to toss our hearts and whole lives (and penises) into a mate we’ve done no homework on, and we have little to no understanding of what kind of investment we’re actually looking for.
The relationships we’ve had—or tried to have—in the past didn’t work because they didn’t meet our needs for a long-term partnership. We are the evidence of that. Obvious, right?
Yet, here we are.
The good news is that all those past mishap relationships were practice. We learned something valuable from every person who rejected, betrayed or hurt us.
Likewise, if we wore the ass-hat in those relationships or hot pursuits of one.
Sex first doesn’t often work because, when we don’t know what we want, we’re led by our loins instead of what really matters. Though sex also matters!
What to do?
Figure out your Top Five Must-Have / Deal-Breaker qualities that you need in your potential long-term mate. Only five?? Yep. Five.
The Reason For Five
- Paying attention to the real red flags clearly and early.
- Not discounting a potential mate when pink flags pop up.
- Recognizing the right one sooner.
- Keeping track of five is easy.
- I’m OCD. So, five it is.
My WakeUP2Luv Get a GF course (link at bottom) gives you the step by step on how to figure out your deal makers and deal breakers.
Most people think they know, but find out they had it all wrong! No wonder they’ve struggled so much.
You may have more than five, but some of the qualities can likely be combined: for example, “lied a lot” and “not trustworthy” might be close enough for you to scratch one off.
You can keep an “extra five” for the “would be nice if …” list, but remember we’re not movie stars, rock stars, porn stars or rich. Let’s get real.
By the way, quick-to-the-sheets relationships can work but they’re a lot of work, and we often destroy each other’s self-esteem with a “you’re not good enough” attitude―unless we really get lucky. *wink*
Takeaways
- Choose your next partner “as is where is” or move on. They don’t need fixing; your picker does.
- Finding the right partner sooner means we can have fun, safe sex (emotionally and physically) sooner.
- The world is a happier place when fewer horny guys are running around with “loaded guns.”
Thanks so much for being here in the world with me! For reals.
xo Anna
Founder of Wingmam, Lover of Love, Your 2nd Biggest Fan!
You got this.
Want More Wingmam? ?
Read my longer winded, wordier version of this article can be found on elephantjournal.
Roundhouse Radio (98.3FM) interviewed me live on this topic in Vancouver. Click here for the replay. Forgive me, it was my first live interview, I might sound a little nervous, because YO, I was!
Here are some more ways I provide dating advice for shy guys & introverted men to get a girlfriend. Wait, not just a girlfriend, but your dream girl.
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Your Creator is your biggest fan and didn’t put you here to be shy, single and suffering. But, as My Little Mom (RIP) used to say, “God helps those who help themselves.”
Dude, you really do deserve to be loved.
To the very core of me I KNOW this to be true. It is the reason I do what I do.
And, guess what else? You don’t have to believe in God for my dating advice to work for you.
Follow my dating advice for shy guys & introverted men and before you know it you’ll get a girlfriend and be cuddled up on the couch chillin’ ‘n Netflix’in with your soulmate — no more Hands Solo!