If you’re dating a woman with a strong or dominant personality you may know women with a strong personalities aren’t necessarily the same as women with dominant personalities.
Nonetheless, how to handle a strong and/or dominant woman are much the same.
The most important thing in dating is finding the right woman for you.
If you don’t, your relationships will be chaotic and things could end very badly.
I think we all know what that’s like.
Every man who wants to avoid heartache and misery and instead have a whirlwind romance needs to know how to figure out if a woman he’s dating is worth it.
But first you need to know what the signs of a dominant versus strong woman are.
Both kinds of women know who they are in the world and tend to have a lot of confidence in their place in it.
Some women have both dominant and strong personalities.
Women with strong personalities can be a force of nature!
They’re often charismatic, persuasive, opinionated and certain. These qualities make them a comfort to be with for both alpha and beta men.
If you’re going to date a woman with a strong personality you’ll need to be secure in yourself.
You’ll also need to be unselfconscious of how her personality is perceived by others.
You need to be proud of your woman, so you’d better like her—not just lust for her—because she’s not going to put a lid on her personality in front of others for you.
I have a strong personality (but not dominant)!
I went out with a guy who also had a strong personality but he was always trying to stifle me in front of others.
He didn’t want me to outshine him.
He lived in L.A. and had been trying to get into TV for awhile. After writing a best-selling book he landed on all the talk shows at the time.
But he was struggling. Hollywood is tough!
Within a week of me moving to L.A. I got asked to be in a commercial. My part ended up getting cut but it was a fun experience.
Instead of being supportive and encouraging he was mad that I got a break so quickly.
My thought process was if I get ahead I can help him get ahead, too.
But he was too busy feeling sorry for himself and bitter at the world to be a team player.
After that, whenever we were around his TV friends he basically told me to be seen and not heard.
Yeah, we broke up. For that and other reasons.
His being self-conscious of my personality and not wanting me to outshine him would’ve been enough in itself, even though I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a long time after that.
If you don’t want your woman to shine her strong personality you shouldn’t be with her.
Either you’re not strong enough to handle her.
Or whatever she’s outspoken about doesn’t align with your values .
You should never be embarrassed of who your partner is.
Just like you never want to be with someone who is embarrassed or self-conscious of you.
Sometimes, behaviours need to be modified to make your partner feel respected—like not overtly checking out other girls—but there’s a difference between minor tweaks and trying to make them someone they’re not.
If you can’t embrace her personality wholeheartedly then you should walk away.
Now, what about a woman with a dominant personality?
So, while a woman with a strong personality isn’t automatically dominant and doesn’t need to lead, the dominant woman does need to lead.
A dominant woman will feel uncomfortable allowing a man to lead in any area of the relationship she hasn’t delegated to him.
So, while she may be okay with a man leading in certain areas, it’s only the areas she’s expressly given her permission to.
This makes it difficult for uber alpha masculine men to be with a dominant woman.
It will always be a struggle with tension and potential resentment on both sides unless…
Your values, beliefs and goals are in such alignment that she can hand over the reigns.
This can happen but it’s rare.
Fully embrace and accept that part of their personality “as is where is.”
You can’t make a woman with a strong personality less strong without emotionally damaging her and the relationship.
And you can’t make a dominant woman less dominant unless she’s emotionally damaged and being with you helps her work through her emotional baggage.
She may have developed dominance to protect herself because she was poorly treated as a child.
But helping her work through her trauma is a tall order for any man and there are no guarantee she’ll stay with you if she becomes emotionally healthy.
So, the best way to handle a woman with a strong personality is to truly unabashedly completely accept that trait about her.
And the best way to handle a woman with a dominant personality is to know thyself.
Know if you’re the kind of guy who can be with a woman taking the lead.
If you can, then make darn sure your values, beliefs and goals align because your relationship will be headed in the direction she aims for.
You want it go the way you choose, so you’d better agree on everything important.
If you can’t hand over the reigns or don’t feel safe handed them over to her, you should walk away.
But remember there’s one time when she may seem dominant but she really isn’t. I’ll tell you about that in a minute.
Men who had dominant mothers with whom they have good feelings toward will do alright with a dominant woman, assuming she’s not emotionally damaged.
Not all men want to lead. Some men like not having the pressure of leading.
That’s ok. Honour your true needs.
Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks you should do. Do what feels right for you.
If you don’t become dependent, yes, it can work.
Non dominant doesn’t mean you don’t have opinions, needs or even boundaries. And it doesn’t mean you don’t contribute to adulting in the relationship.
It does mean you’re not completely co-dependent and completely incapable on your own.
You’re not a child.
Remember, mother mode = non arousal mode. No squeeze and no juice!
It’s important to know what your needs are in the dominance/submissive areas and what kind of woman would best compliment you as a partner.
A woman with a strong or dominant personality may not be in and of itself a dealbreaker and I’m not suggesting it should be.
But, regardless of if she’s got a strong personality or is naturally dominant, you do want to filter out the ones who display real red flags.
Sometimes, you’ll meet a woman who appears dominant because everyone else has let her down and she’s learned to take care of herself.
However, deep down she’s really just waiting to meet a capable dominant man so she doesn’t have to lead. A man who makes her feel safe enough to be submissive.
Shit tests are unconscious ways of a woman discovering where you fall on the masculine dominance scale by how you handle those tests.
To discover if she’s really dominant or not you must handle her tests and gauge her response and the fastest way do that is to test her.
Unless you’re able to do this, you’re going to walk blindly into every relationship.
You could be in for a very bumpy ride and it could end in disaster.
But, when you know how to test her, you can see if she’s up to your standards or not.
And if she is then sparks can fly and you can have a whirlwind romance with the perfect gal for you.
Someone who’s going to support you, treat you right and not come with all the unnecessary drama.
Plus, when you’re able to test her, you become the selector.
She’ll see you’re not needy like other guys and this is very attractive to the ladies.
And all it takes is a few simple steps.
WATCH HOW TO TEST HER.
Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)