3 Sneaky Ways to Get Her In The Mood for Love!

3 Sneaky Ways to Get Her In The Mood for Love & More! 😉

Whether you’ve just started dating, have been dating awhile or have been married forever, you’ll love these 3 sneaky ways to get her in the mood for love!

If you’ve watched my videos for awhile you know that women speak a 1000 shades of hint so you’ll want to apply these sneaky ways to get her in the mood for love with the right intent.

What do I mean by right intent?

Great question!

Right intent is about mutual benefit not selfish pleasure.

Here’s the deal…

Men need to release regularly, it’s how you’re built.

For men, a release offers a sense of stress-reduction and if she’s your gal, it can make you feel more emotionally bonded with her.

But women are different.

When it comes to ways to get her in the mood, most women’s playbook isn’t the same as yours.

Women generally don’t need release, they want it—but only after they’ve reduced stress enough to enjoy it and preferably after they feel emotionally close with you.

Of course, exceptions apply.

That girl at the club, she prepped herself. You just have to show up and not screw up.

But for a woman you’re dating or in a relationship with, unless she’s mentally put herself in the mood, you’ll need to contribute to prepping her for love in different ways than you would for that chick at the club.

And there’s one thing you must avoid doing or none of these suggestions will work.

Why Use “Sneaky” Ways to Get Her in The Mood?

The reason you’ll want to use these sneaky ways to get her in the mood is because when a woman is stressed, she’s typically even more emotional.

Whether by nature or nurture, women are more emotionally than men—generally, things are changing in the younger generation but not enough to warrant a different strategy when it comes to getting her in the mood.

So, you’re actually doing both of you a favour by being sneaky, or in other words, subtle.

Because if she feels like you’re manipulating her only for your own gain—sex regardless of her needs and feelings—she’ll be more resistant.

And if she’s in that frame of mind, she actually really needs you to be successful in seducing her so she can feel that release.


Okay, so what do you do?

3 Steps to Get Her in the Mood

In sequential order:

  1. Reduce her stresses
  2. Connect with her
  3. Seduce her

Let’s take a closer look at each category.

Reduce Her Stresses

If she’s got a lot on her plate, she’s got a lot on her mind.

Your woman cannot think about making love to you if her mind is in other non-sexual places.

Men and women are built differently.

Figure out what’s stressing her out and find a way to help her.


Is she stressed because she’s in school and working and doesn’t have time to go over to your place never mind make a proper meal for herself?

Go to her place and bring her favourite take-out.


Is she stressed because it’s month-end at work and she’s been working OT to balance the books?

Again, make a meal for her and clean up after or pick up some of the domestic chores she usually does during the last week of the month.

Bonus points: Run a bath for her and make sure her favourite wine and chocolate are on hand.

“But Anna, this is so romantic and cheesy.” #beta

Gentleman, remember that even when you’ve won her over, she needs a balance.

Being romantic and thoughtful doesn’t mean you’re not alpha—in fact, you’re taking charge of her well-being so both of your needs can be met.

She’s not demanding from you; you are taking the initiative to provide for her.

In turn, she will provide for you in the ways you need and for which you’ll both take pleasure in.

Stick with me, we’re getting to the juicy stuff.

Which brings me to the next point, you must have patience!

No patience = no pussy for you!

These sneaky ways to get her in the mood for love are all about the long game.

Just The Tip

With the right attitude, you’ll enjoy this foreplay game and appreciate the payoff all the more when you get there.

Now, if you’re the cause of her stress because of acting needy, clingy, demanding or guilt-tripping her, you need to stop.


You’ve been hounding her to give you something-something, anything-anything, but whenever you go there she gets upset and closes down.

You need to take a break from initiating any typical intimacy that she knows you know usually leads to you-know-what.

Yep, in this case you’ve got to lay off to get laid.

Do the other things until she’s relaxed enough for her to come to you.

Be patient!

If she loves you and wants you and you haven’t done some of the other things men do that turn women off—which I’ll share in a minute—then she will come back for lovin’.

So, figure out ways to help reduce her stresses.

Side note: If she’s been stressed and frigid since the day you met, you might have chosen poorly.

Connect With Her

As mentioned, women need to feel emotionally connected to enjoy sexual expression with you to its fullest.

If she feels disconnected to you, either because of life stresses or you pressuring her, she won’t want to be physically intimate with you.

A way to reconnect with her is to set aside some time to listen to her talk about her stresses.

Notice I didn’t say, “Fix her stresses or offer solutions.”

At this stage, you want her to feel safe enough to just share without worry of judgment or problem-solving.


She seems cranky so instead of giving her space to deal with it, like you might prefer, you ask her about her day.

You can very simply say, “What happened, do you want to talk about it?”

If you’ve watched my videos for awhile, you may remember me sharing how women often feel better simply after venting and feeling understood.

Sometimes, simply by voicing their problems women are able to arrive at solutions, so simply by listening with curiosity and genuine interest, she’ll feel more connected to you.

This is a tough one for a lot of men!

You were born with logic and a Mr. Fix-it hat on and I’ve got to say, I’m with you on this one, listening to complaining is exhausting.

But it’s how most women are built so you’ve just got to roll with it.

Just like I say to women, a man is going to notice T & A till the day he kicks it, that’s simply how men are built.

And even if she doesn’t want to talk about it, she may just need you to hold her and tell her she’s strong and safe in your arms.

Express Your Love Her Way

Just before we get to your favourite sneaky way to get her in the mood—seduce her—another way of connecting with her is by expressing your love or appreciation for her in the way she likes to receive it.

You may have heard of the 5 Love Languages, but if you haven’t you can watch the short video I did on it at the end.

Of all the sneaky ways to get her in the mood, I know you like this one the best and that’s why you usually start with it and end up disappointed.

As you now know, if a woman is stressed in life and disconnected from you, seducing her doesn’t usually work.

You’ve got to be, what? That’s right, patient!

If you can help her destress and connect with her then the seduction stage will be welcome!

Otherwise, the only spark you’ll get is it backfiring.

Let’s talk about seducing her and then I’ll share what you definitely must not do for any of this to be effective.

Seduce Her

After she’s distressed and reconnected with you, seducing her is the eyes on and hands on part of getting her in the mood for love.

It’s about seductive eye contact, lingering gazes, grazing touch, verbal sexual teasing, whispering sweet (and/or naughty) things, slow dancing, kissing and so on.

Some women get turned on by language like by telling her what you want to do to her.

You can contribute in many ways of getting her in the mood by setting the mood.

The best specific way to seduce her is cliche but effective—the sensual massage.

To set the mood and be most effective, a sensual massage includes:
  • You, fully dressed
  • Flattering low lighting, preferably candlelight
  • Soft, sensual music
  • Slow, sensual movements
  • Teasing and tension build-up
  • Gauging her response

You don’t have to be an expert massage therapist for this to be mutually satisfying. There are plenty of videos available to provide guidance.

Now, let’s talk about what breaks the mood!

Major Mood Buster

I’ll lay it right out: Expecting sex in return.

Your aim is to help her get in the mood but if you expect sex then all of the generous things you’ve done aren’t gifts at all.

They’re part of a covert contract and she’ll feel that.

You have to do this stuff because you want her to want sex. You want her to have less stress, feel connected and want to be turned on.

But you don’t act entitled to it.

It may take more than one act of love for her to be able to ease into her relaxed, feminine receptive state.

Don’t rush her or she’ll feel manipulated. #turnoff

If you want to know more about the stages of seduction, I invite you to watch my video, The 10 Steps of Seduction and How to Kiss Her So She’ll Want More.

About the Author Anna Jorgensen

Vancouver dating coach for men who love women! ❤️ (Not PC and not a feminist.)

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